And I hope you men didn't think I'd leave you out of the "shallow" party lol This is part 2.
Again, we all want a partner that is attractive AND has a good personality. And though women are reluctant to admit that they want an attractive partner, men aren't as reluctant. However, they still get labeled shallow. Many people who think that you are a monster for not asking out large women, or hairy women etc because you don't want them. I feel that this is mostly a male issue because guess what, men are the ones who mainly approach/ask out. So they get the heat for not asking out the "Ugly Betty" or "Plain Jane."
So, yes I understand why men are, in my opinion, unfairly labeled shallow monsters for only approaching women they find physically attractive.
That said, do you think it's shallow to approach/ask a complete stranger out just because you find him or her attractive? If yes, why, if no why not? And do you think it's wrong?
Personally, again, I do think it's shallow, that's the dictionary definition of it, HOWEVER not wrong. Despite what all these "holier than thou" types would like to have you believe, you need physical attraction AND attraction to the personality and you can't really "overcompensate" in one area to make up for the other. It's human nature, and I don't know. I just can't believe how much shit people give others. Of course still be respectful to others, because just like you want an attractive person that you're approaching, they want someone attractive too.
Yes it's shallow and NO it's not wrong.
Yes it's shallow and YES it's wrong.
No it's not shallow and NO it's not wrong.
No it's not shallow and YES it's wrong.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Do you think it's shallow to approach/ask out a complete stranger based on looks, and if yes, is it wrong?
Most women, and I'm talking 80-90% here, they come from a long string of bad relationships that went sour and they're going to continue to do so because their mating strategy appears to be, "always go for the hottest guy and cross your fingers and hope he's a good person."
Women say they want a nice guy, a guy who can make them laugh, etc. but what they really mean is that those are the qualities they look for in a guy who's also really tall and handsome. You have to be good-looking first, otherwise it doesn't matter how nice or funny or brave or loyal or smart you are.
Now before you downvote me, ladies, just check my sources:
is it wrong? absolutely not. is it shallow? not at all. I would never approach a complete stranger and ask them out UNLESS I was attracted to them. bottom line. there are people you find attractive and want to sleep with, and there are those that you dont. I personally wouldn't waste my time trying to cultivate a romantic relationship with a female that I wasn't sexually attracted to you. my drive and desire and passion to be with that person ultimately wouldn't be there enough. itd be like a gay male forcing himself to stay in a relationship with a female. it just wouldn't work.
So like, if we limited ourselves to only dating people we already knew, we'd all be incestuous and that's like super gross :/
So we should be open to new people :)
And like, when it comes to looks and stuff, I mean, what else do you have to go on, lol? I mean, if I'm around them at a party or something and they seem really nice, I'm open to them even if they aren't super hot, but if I'm going to meet a stranger, why not a cute one? 😇💞
It is a little bit shallow but there is nothing wrong with it. I mean if you're gonna gamble on someone, it makes more sense to gamble on someone you're 50 percent into and then discover you're actually into them, then someone you're 10% into and hope you get into them.
This time I went 'A' though I was judging harshly.
Sure, they're asking someone out purely because of looks. Sure, that's a bit shallow. But it's only a 'big deal' shallow wise if they keep dating them even if they' don't actually like them just because they look good.
When you're young you tend to meet through school, friends, you get to know people and decide if you like them then ask them out. As you get a little older it becomes a lot more common for people to have basically... exhausted those options. So they need to literally try dating strangers. And basically, a stranger you're attracted to is as likely to have a good personality as one you're not attracted to. So you ask out attractive ones, and then -see if you like them-.
Think about it like this for a second... Personality, character, who you are... etc whatever you wanna call it is a projection of something (the personality) but how is that projection (the personality) actually projected onto you?
You guessed it! Looks, expressions... how his lips might crinkle, or how his eyebrows are sharp giving him a serious look... of maybe he looks mysterious? But why do we attribute a character trait 'Mysterious' with how someone looks?
--> Yea because looks/appearance project a certain type of personality that shapes who he is along with his character. Anyways short answer is it's not shallow... it's how we are built, sight is arguably the most important sense we have
Pardon me, but since when are women reluctant to say they want an attractive partner? Almost every time I hear a woman talking about this, real life or online they basically say they want a hot boyfriend as much as guys want a hot girlfriend. Strange thing is, I really don't see girls going after the most attractive guy much.
I've actually found the opposite of what you say to be true. Girls always say they care about looks as much as guys do, but then in the real world, it's a different story. I wouldn't have dated 8's and 9's if women wanted attractive partners lol.
No, I don't think it's shallow to approach a stranger based on looks alone. You don't know anything about them, what else are you gonna approach them for?
I personally don't judge people on just looks alone, I see pretty women at my work all day, and by pretty I mean super hot, but you know what, I wouldn't go out with them if they asked me, know why? Because they're stuck up, snobby, impolite "I'm pretty so I don't have to talk to you" type chicks that are uglier than rocky dennis because of this.
"I see pretty women at my work all day, and by pretty I mean super hot, but you know what, I wouldn't go out with them if they asked me, know why? Because they're stuck up, snobby, impolite "I'm pretty so I don't have to talk to you" type "... Are you basing that off their personality or looks alone?
And however, my question is asking like if a guy is at the mall, sees a very pretty girl. Has no idea what she's like, just finds her attractive, asks her out on nothing other than looks alone, is that shallow and is that wrong?
Also, I'm not advocating for people tu completely disregard looks, however, looks are important for physical attraction and physical and sexual intimacy. And that's important for lasting, mutually happy and satisfying relationships.
I used "my work" because I don't go to a mall and my work has waaaaaay more people there than any mall, and I was basing that off the way they act everyday which is part of their personality. and it's not shallow, it's more like blind and stupid. and it sounds like "looks" are the most important category in choosing someone for you, which isn't a bad thing I guess, but think about this, you could be looking at a guy at "the mall" for instance and he's not attractive to you through looks, but he could've been the best thing that could've happened to you, too bad he's unattractive though, see my point?
Well I'm talking about complete strangers, is it shallow?
And no. It's not the most important thing, but it is important. He can be the nicest thing in the world, but it won't be the best. Because nice doesn't get my pussy wet, just like if Rosie o Donell did everything great, many guys wouldn't want her for a wife. It doesn't make us horrible people, it makes us human.
I guess I'm not human then, nice guys always lose. and yeah it's shallow, it's shallow the other way around too, but it's what makes them human I guess
It's shallow to reject or approach only on looks sure. But I don't feel it's wrong.
It is wrong to base an entire relationship on looks I'd agree. But most people don't do that, and if they do it doesn't last. Basing a relationship entirely on personality isn't necessarily wrong, but they don't last either.
What else do you have to go on when you don't know the person? Although to me asking someone out is something you do when you like them, not when you merely find them attractive, so approaching based on appearance is ok, asking them out based on appearance only is kinda shallow, but then again, the other person might only care about appearance to, in which case you two are a good match.
it is shallow. Everything that is based solely on looks, can only be so. But it is not wrong. When you don't​ know a person, the only way to judge them from would be their looks. As unfair as it may be, we don't really have any other means to separate those who might be of interest and those who aren't. You could always go up to people that don't seem physical appealing to you, to begin with, but in all honesty, I don't think that happens very often​.
So it's shallow and wrong and a detriment to society for women to reject a stranger solely on looks but its not wrong for men to approach solely on looks? Isn't that a double standard? Since both are doing the exact same thing, filtering partners based on looks? Why is it ok for men but not women?
Yes. You don't know her at all. You haven't observed her mannerisms. You just think she's really pretty and because she's by herself, single. You ask her out. Is that shallow and is it wrong?
Yeah, I do think it's both shallow and wrong. I do have a slightly different scenario where I think it's OK though. I'm at a restaurant watching a football game or whatever, been there for three or four hours, I've heard this one woman say many things, express her personality some, plus I find her attractive, then I don't honk that's shallow or wrong.
Ok. What about in your scenario you're overhearing that amazing personality woman. You finally decide to turn around and she looks like this, do you ask her out? dybiz.com/.../fat-and-ugly-girl_43543.jpg
When I was younger , no. Today. yes I would, simply because now it's more substance over flash. I'd rather drive a beat up truck that hauls Ass over a shiny car with no engine
As long as things were really good. We'd have to get along in most areas, we'd have to be able to keep a similar level of intellectual conversation, same interests, but the same goes for a better looking person also. If I'm watching a documentary on WWII, and she thinks it was 20 years ago in the middle east. I just can't deal with that level of stupid. I've moved passed the point where I'm mostly concerned with sex, and sex appeal, I honestly don't care if I have sex again, I can handle that shit myself, having a companion, a partner in crime, a like minded individual is more important to me.
Not everyone is like you though. Most people want sex, and having a partner who at least meets the baseline attraction is needed for sex. So while what you're doing, if true, is respectable, it doesn't make the rest of us wrong or horrible people for wanting a person who's personality we like and we're physically attracted to.
I'll have to say you make a lot of great points but I don't think it's shallow since they are my preference and I choose who I like because that's what I like
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