What kind of guy should I date?

I have a really hard time finding the right guy for me. I get guys who are interested in me, but most of them just want sex. I guess it is because of the age and where they are at in life. I mean the average guy in his early 20s does want to primarily hook up right? I'm considering looking at guys who are older than me, like in his late 20s or early 30s because I think that they are more likely to want a serious relationship but I don't know what do you think...I will tell you more about me and hopefully I can get some insight.

-I'm going to be 22 this fall

-I'm mixed (african american/native/irish)

-I am mostly like a middle class suburban girl but I did live in the hood during my youth for a few years

-I'm sort of still a virgin. I was raped when I was a little girl so I don't know if that counts but I guess that is why I haven't willingly had sex with anyone because I'm afraid of being used.

-I have a lot of friends of both genders but technically they are more like acquaintances, I find it hard to get close with people. even my best friend, I am not super close with like a lot of other bffs that I've seen.

-I've never had a serious boyfriend.

-I live at home but I do have a car

-I love kids and babysitting. I don't know why but I have a soft spot for kids I guess because they are like the future generation and I would want to be a positive influence for them if they don't have anyone.

-I cook a lot, I'm really interested in trying new recipes.

-I'm semi-shy at first and some people have told me that they thought I was stuck up when they first meet me but after I feel more comfortable around you then I'm kinda goofy

-I'm outspoken like I have no problem being honest with people and telling them how I feel but I try to do it in a nice way unless that person is being out of line with me.

-I am really girly, I love shopping and getting my hair and nails done.

-I listen to all types of music but mostly rap, R&B and pop but I don't really like heavy radio rotation stuff...

-I don't really go clubbing much I am more of a homebody or I like to go to friends houses and go out like that

-I don't get mad very often but when I do I get veryveryvery furious and it sometimes scares people

-I hate drama but if someone starts it with me I am not one to back down

-I love doing people's hair and makeup

So based on this, what kind of guy should I be looking at?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All guys, all ages want just sex first, they can only get in love with time and she has to have very outgoing personality and smile a lot.

    Guys that are into serious relationships are usually shy about sex or making a move and they are basically nerds even if they don't wear glasses.

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    • So are you saying I'm supposed to have sex with a guy and then wait and hope he wants to stick around after that?

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    • Thats true all men just want sex wow!

    • All guys do not just want sex.. When a guy finds the right one.. sex is just a bonus.. I'm 25.. That's how my mature mind thinks..

What Guys Said 10

  • You're in an age group in which most men are interested in sex. I'm also mixed (my mom is Sicilian and my dad black) and from the suburbs :)

    Anyways...

    The only way to meet men is to "put yourself out there" emotionally... I know plenty of men my own age that want serious relationships.

    On the other hand... I also know a LOT of guys that just want sex (that are also older than me). Don't assume because somebody is older that they want a serious relationship.

    Out of curiosity where are you meeting all of these guys that just want to use you?

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    • I meet most of them either through friends, at the mall or like random places when I'm out (restaurants, gas station lol)..

  • biann you didn't include the word "first", it was an important part of the sentence. Guys want sex "first".

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  • If I were you, I wouldn't worry about dating right now. You seriously have a lot of issues that you need to work out from your past, such as being raped. I would suggest getting a therapist and staying with that for a few years. Then, go out on your own and be independent for a while..you have to develop a sense of "self" before you can take care of a man.

    If you go looking for a guy now, all that will result is drama. You aren't ready for a relationship yet, is what I'm saying.

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    • What would happen if I did get in a relationship? I think a part of me realizes that I should get help but I am kind of scared to. But thank you for the advice

    • What do you mean "if you got into a relationship" ? Its not gonna happen by accident. You don't trip and fall into a relationship...it takes a decision by you.

      And if you can choose to get a bf, you could also choose to go see a therapist. That's what you need. Rape can cause trauma that you may not even recognize. Its probably affecting your behavior.

  • get really fat or a fat suit, and you'll see how people are, if you find sum1 that's nice 2 you stick with them. I can't even say I'm that nice, so it would probably be a while. people are just mean. or you could find a nerd and give them a makeover lol

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  • anonymous user that's retarded. I even have a friend who is not a nerd that can get sex when ever he wants and complain about because he quote "wants campionship"

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  • No way to tell. Guys'll pretend to be anyting to have sex with you. We all want sex. Just date, be yourself, let them say what they like first. Figure out what you want in a guy and find it.

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  • What do you think of an asian... a small brown man that can meet all of your needs.

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  • You sound pretty cool, maybe you should date me! lol I don't know what kinda guy you should date

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  • Date them all, only way to find out what you like, you might not even know what you like till you try it...

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  • Go to online dating websites. That's where you'll find guys that are homebody's like you. Not every guy in your age group is after only sex since a lot of guys have different sex drives. I agree that you should go for nerdy type guys but also go for the "average joe" guys who don't look nerdy/geeky but also don't look cool either. Maybe someone that's kind of like an outcast.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Damn girl. I don't think all guys around your age are looking for a hook up. A lot of older guys are too. I say you shouldnt be asking what kind of guy you need to look at. You look at what you find attractive.

    I think you sound like a homebody. And you did say that. I say still go out though because unfortunately that's where a lot of people meet these days. You could try cooking classes stuff like that. Attraction is something that can't be chosen. It just happens.

    You sound like a great catch though!

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    • Thank you :) I do need to get out more

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