Why am I so shy and why am I so afraid of dating?

I'm going to be 17 in a week and I have never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. This fact drives me insane inside. My problem is that I'm shy when I comes to dating. I know I'm not a dog, I'm smart, and funny too but I am too shy to let guys see those sides of me. I don't know why I am this way? I can be walking down the sidewalk and get hit on at least ten times yet I'm just to scared to make a move. I think I'm afraid because I feel like if I do make a move or become confident with dating that I can get any guy that I want and something about that scares me to death. I don't understand why I am so afraid of love and that this fear keeps me from having confidence in dating. If you have any suggestions about how to overcome this fear of mine and my low self confidence in dating please let me know, Thank you :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • first of all, I gotta admit that I read the Q just because of ure name (soccergirl)

    this problem ure having is actually simple, as long as ure datable. the guy will come some day, don't worry, and when he does, just say yes, go explore the dating world, don't hold ure self back !

    ure fears may have been caused by a bad family member's experience or something, but remember, there is somebody for everybody, and you are still too young to worry abt stuff like that, just focus on ure soccer thing, and let see you play professionally, ok ? ;)

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What Girls Said 1

  • First off, don't feel bad. I am 20 and I'm in the same boat as you. Although it can seem like a negative thing, you can look at it as a positive. Since you've never been in a relationship, when you ARE in one chances are it will be strong and it will last. You don't seem like the type of girl that would rush into any relationship, so when you're in one it will be good. Try going on dates with people. Whether you really like them or not. Dating is how you get to know people after one or a few dates you realize you don't like him, then you end it. There's nothing wrong with going on dates with several guys. Just make sure things are kept casual until you find one you really like. Once you find one you like, hopefully he will be understanding and you will feel comfortable telling him about your concerns. If he is a good guy and wants to be with you, he will be comfortable going as slow as you need to and he will even help you overcome this fear you have. Wish you the best! Hope I helped. Let me know if you need more help.

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    • Thanks for your advice! My real problem is getting to the first date, having the confidence to flirt with guys that I find attractive. Any advice? And you hit the nail on the head I'm the girl that doesn't rush into anything and I know what I'm looking for, I'm not going to date someone just so I can say that I have a boyfriend.

    • No I totally understand. I'm the same way. I'm not recommending leading people on, but try flirting with random guys until you get your confidence up. Like the guy that makes your coffee, your cashier... Believe it or not, to flirt you don't even need to use your words all the time. Smile with your eyes and find reasons to lightly touch guys arms. If they say something funny brush their arm. Once you flirt with these guys you will be more confident with flirting and flirting with guys you like..

    • ...will start to become easier. The right guy will come along. TRUST ME. It might not be right away and it might not be in the next year. Just have patience and know that he will come and remember DO NOT BE DOWN ON YOURSELF FOR NOT HAVING A BOYFRIEND. You have standards and morals and that is something I respect and any guy you find yourself in a relationship with will respect it to.

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