I'm stuck between two girls and need help on deciding which one I should be with?

I'm currently dating a girl that is going to school full time and has no job and is 19. Well her and I get along but it seems like it will just be a sexual relationship because the second date into it she threw herself out there so we could have sex and we ended up having sex. It seems all she is looking for is a guy to take care of her and sex. She told me she can't get into romantic dates (I'm a hopeless romantic). Also it seems like I'm afraid she'll cheat on me because all of her good friends are guys, even her best guy friend and her say I love you to each other all the time and she told me the only reason she is not dating him is because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship (red flags are going up all over the place with her). Also I want to settle down in a couple years and she will be 21 in a couple years and not ready to settle down and I don't want her to because I want her to experience being 21.

The other girl is 22 and works full-time as a manager and goes to school. I can tell from her previous relationships (I've been friends with her for 5 months) she lets guys walk all over her and I've let girls walk over me so I thought maybe we would work out (don't know). Also I've talked to her and she is very mature for her age and would like to settle down in the next couple years. She and I both don't have anger problems (btw the one of above actually uses physical violence when she is mad). Also this girl and I have more chemistry between personalities (the girl and I above only have sexual chemistry at this point). I feel like I'll regret not going after the 22 year old because we connected together through personality other than sexuality but I feel like I could make a mistake by letting the 19 year old go; I just need help and deciding who I should date; by the way I'm about to 23 and work full-time and finishing up school in the fall. Also if it makes a difference in distance the 22 year old lives 15min away and the 19 year old lives 40min away


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly to me it sounds like you've made up your mind subconsiously. If you re-read through what you said you should get the answer you are looking for. If you have more in common with the second girl and everything seems right with her and all wrong with the other girl why are you still with the first girl? The 19 year old (by what you've said) seems all wrong for you in numberous different ways whereas the 22 year old seems to share the same goals and everything as you do. You're describing the first girl as someone you wouldn't want to be with while you think it may be a mistake to let her go. I think what you're actually saying is that you're afraid that if you chose the 22 year old and things don't work out between you two then you won't be able to go back to the 19 year old to patch things up. I feel as though you don't see that relationship (your current one) going anywhere productive anyways.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I agree with Honey18, it does sound like you've made up your mind. If you are really ready to settle down in a few years, ask yourself what you would want in someone whom you'd share your life with. Can you really see yourself with this 19 year old with (as I am perceiving it) some major personality flaws? Someone once described to me relationships as candles: the one that burns in one firey flash of lust will fizzle out, but the one that burns bright at first and goes down to a comfortable glow of common interests and goals is the one worth spending time on

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  • I think you would definitely NOT make a mistake if you let the 19yo go. Says "love you" to her best male friend? Would date him but doesn't want to ruin friendship? You connect only thru sex? You feel she might cheat? She uses physical violence when she's mad?

    I mean - what could that mistake possibly be, I'm really curious?

    Break up with her and try with the other girl. Even if that doesn't work out, you'd be much better off without the 19YO.

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  • No one can tell you who to choose that is something that you need to discover on your own. All I will say is, the one chick slept with you so quickly so what would stop her if she's tempted by another guy? You seem like you're ready to get serious and settle down, so the choice should be seriously obvious.

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  • 22 year old sounds better for you...

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What Guys Said 0

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