Is this a sign of not interested when you say "I'll call you soon"?

I have been dating a guy for a couple weeks. We had sex once. I have asked him to my house a couple times and he came over once when it was convenient for him. He sent me a text on Wednesday that he would call me "later". No call. He sent me a text first thing yesterday that he wanted to call me last night...no call. Today I sent him a text that said "hi how are you?" He said he was very busy. I said "OK, then perhaps he could call me later?" He said "i will call you soon". What is that supposed to mean?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Believe it or not, this is guy-speak for "he might be interested in you"... So, the whole thing comes down to how men and women are so very different from each other.

    For instance, when a woman says "I will call you", this usually means later that night, or by the next day at the latest.

    When a man says "I will call you", it means before we die.

    We don't mean to throw mixed signals, we're just stupid jackasses that don't know how to communicate properly. (The ones that are great communicators are gay, by the way. They are also he men that have seemingly effortless fashion sense). All straight men, like me, like to drink beer, watch games involving violence or ground acquisition, and we are enthralled with you ladies. It's one of the reasons we can't communicate that well with you - because you're a total enigma to us. Cars? Yeah, I got that covered. Lawns? Got that, too. Women? Hell no!

    I would take the fact that he texted you as a good sign. Trust me, if a guy is truly not interested in you, you would never hear from him... not one call, not one note, not even a text.

    He doesn't sound like a player, he just sounds like he needs a little help communicating. To be honest, to me it sounds like he does like your company, he just doesn't seem to sure about "how much".

    Don't feel bad, right before we got married, my wife actually had to tell me to "just stop talking and kiss me, you dope. I didn't come over here to talk". Like I said... we really just don't know how to "read" you ladies at all.

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    • This is so misleading. The signs are obvious. He got what he wanted and is showing absolute disrespect. Even the shyest guys can muster up SOME courage and behave better than this.

    • Thanks for dismissing my opinion completely. Ironically, you've helped to prove my point - men and women really think very differently. In fact, you could be right - he may have just "used" her...but without knowing his side of the story, you can't make that judegement.

      Trust me, I've been married for 12 years, but before that, dating wasn't so easy...

    • I agree that men and women think differently but I have to say that the only men I have experienced this behavior from were the ones who were not really interested or the cheating slime who were already in relationships and therefor could be specific as to when they would be able to call/txt/visit.

      To bunch all men together saying that none of you (straight ones) can communitate is just not true.

What Guys Said 12

  • Can't you take a hint. It means he used you to just have sex.

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  • are you really that naive? I would expect this question from someone below the age of 20 to ask something like this...the answer is obvious.

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  • Flakiness is disinterest. Move on.

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    • How come you see that and Married-in-PA doesn't?

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    • Then riddle me this, why is he texting her?

    • Yeah, when he feels like it.

  • believe it or not he prob likes you he is just absent minded or busy.

    no guy sends a text saying sorry for not calling if he never intended to call.

    if he was not liking you he wouldn't have bothered to explain at all..

    but ya the golden rule now applys you don't contact him till he gets in touch

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  • he's just not making you a priority. I wouldn't try to get serious with him cause it sounds like he's not ready for a commitment.

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  • Wow I've never disrespected women time and expectations even when I was using them for sex. HA

    I hope that helps.

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  • Means your done, I'll call you soon is used to show there is no specific day or time you will receive a phone call therefore he cannot be held accountable. In today's age when will women learn from the women in the past who had no rights or power and use what they only knew could work and that was sex. They drove men to their knees with that power now you girls give it all away.

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  • sounds likes like he's looking around if he really liked you even if he was busy he would call you. so I wouldn't get to close.

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  • it means forget about him.

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  • Well for me, if I say I'm gonna call I will unless I get really busy

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  • Maybe he got what he wanted and is not interested or he is really busy with other stuff in his life. Time will tell, if a guy is into you he will call, make time, spend time with you, keep dates etc...

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  • he is ignoring you.

    I use to do the same

    If he had some real excuses, he would have call and explain that to you,

    it won't take more than 2-3 mins

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What Girls Said 17

  • He is totally disrespecting you. As you said, he came over once when it was convenient for him. What a jerk. He will call you again, but only when he is horny and wants to booty call you. Don't respond to his contact.

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  • You gave him nookie too soon. DON'T DO THAT. Not if you want them to treat you like a relationship prospect. He's not that interested in you and as the guys said, not making you a real priority. If he was into you, he wouldn't be behaving like this. He'd call when he said he would. He'd jump at the chance to hang out with you.

    Why waste your time on a guy who can't even be bothered to make time for you?

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    • And you know this because.....?

    • Because I've experienced this with guys? Because I've seen it before with other girls as well and know what the outcome is? How would YOU know? Have YOU dated guys? :)

  • He's not interested I'm sorry but it seems like he keeps avoiding making this supposed phone call that he won't ever make, yes he is texting but texting is always more easier than actually having to speak with a person and here there reaction once they know the truth about how you feel, I suggest you move on and find someone who only wants to see you all the time and not at their own convenience. Keep your head up :) and good luck.

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  • You know, either he used you, or he actually is just that busy. Every guy is different. Sometimes guys just need space.

    Either he was using you for sex, and text you so he would feel less guilty about it. Or

    He isn't using you, because he text you back, so maybe he is interested. But like I said, every guy is different. You say you were dating a couple of weeks though? It's a very short amount of time. I was seeing my guy for 3 months, and then he stopped texting. Turns out he had been really busy and stressed at work and needed his space, which I gave him. Then he started to text me again.

    But the same could be with this guy. If he is stressed with work or family matters, he may need to focus on that. Remember that men cannot multi task. They can only focus on one thing at a time! In the mean time, you can focus on you, and doing things that make you happy!

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  • if he wasn't interested he wouldn't have txtd you or anything lol he would have jst gotten rid of u, I would just wait it out, if he's seriouse hell make a move, and please don't do the same thing I did and over think everything lol. jst let it be.. :P :)

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    • He text because he wants to keep his options open and have someone available when he has some free time and an itch that needs scratching. A text is the most minimal form of contact there is. Men GENERALLY don't get rid of a girl unless she is causing him a problem.

    • Lol then I suggest not getting involved with him he sounds like a waste of time .

  • I want you to print off this page and read you problem to another friend aloud - and hopefully you'll see where you've went wrong. This guy wasn't interested in a relationship - he just wanted sex or a 'f*** buddy'. If this guy hasn't called you back and completely forgets to when he promises he will, it's a huge possibility that he's just not that into you.

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  • He'll call you soon when he wants sex...he doesn't want anything more then that. Time to move on from this douche.

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  • It means you are far from being a priority in his life. A guy who is into you and sees you as long term potential will put in a lot more effort than this. He will call when he says he will, he will keep in contact and not brush you off because he cares about your feelings. You are making him a priority, while to him you are just an option. Go out and date others, don't invest into someone who is not willing to invest in you.

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  • That means; don't count on him to be there for you. If a guy is into you know; you don't have to feel like you gotta linger on everything he says and they call you when they say they will.

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  • come on..you know...DONT text or call him again until he calls you

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  • He could be taking care of things and stuff. don't sweat it. wait it out. he's interested.

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  • trying to get rid of you? (emotionally)

    but still keeping you around for sex sometime?

    i don't know.

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  • dude he totally used you.at least that's what it sounds like. :(

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  • this guy is a coward and two-faced leech. so don't associate yourself with a lowlife like this because you deserve more than that. I am getting over one right now so let's do it together. :) like marilyn monroe said, "NO GIRL SHOULD EVER NEED ANYONE WHO DOESNT NEED HER."

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  • He hasn't been able to call you because he's wife/girlfriend has been around. He will call/txt you out of the blue asking to meet up prob at short notice (as that will be the time slot he has).

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  • it sounds like he is trying to blow you off instaed of just tellin you that he is not interested. If you ever find yourself doin all the calling/texting, then its clear that he is just not that into you so you should just stop contacting him. Let him come to you if he really likes you but he is obviously not anxious to talk to you again. Listen to your instincts. They never lie and chill out from him. If he comes back, make sure he shows more effort than you did. Don't pick up the phone or respond to his text too fast because you want him to miss you but yeah as of now he has lost interest

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  • My guy friends have called me while they were using the bathroom at times. If you REALLY want to or even sort of want to talk to someone, you'll find a time where you can use your phone.

    He's keeping you on the hook so if he wants something from you he can call you. Don't text or call him anymore, and even if he does text you or call you, wait. If he's willing to call you, not even text, CALL you at least three times, MAYBE respond. But he's really just baiting you.

    I wouldn't waste your time. It sounds like he's in high school and I feel like you could do a lot better with someone a lot more mature.

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