We dated, we went on a break, we became friends, and..now?

Still Sleeping with one another..

... ...we were once in love and talked about ... potentially a future.. ..he came back from a family wedding out of state and things went down from there..

when we do see/ sleep with each other ..we still act like we are still a couple...Deep down I can feel there are still some lingering feelings..I don't want to ask ...

..HELP?...any guidance.. ?..comments? words of wisdom? please?

Thanks...

Updates:
...I mean I'm not clueless it sounds like a friends with benefit things...

how are friends with benefit suppose to behave?
well doesn't it sound like a friends with benefits thing? - because I'm technically Not his Girlfriend Anymore... But we are still sleeping with each other.. ... what is this?
I guess my pt is ... I was once as Girlfriend for a long time.. We like even talked about .. having a Future with each other... Went on a break... and then ..stayed friends..and now still sleeping with each other from time to time...

but when we
but when we do..we still act like we were dating.. Like cuddles stuff... People have said that it sound like I'm in a FWB relationship...

someone help me define what the heck is going on? please? any words of wisdom?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • dont sleep with him anymore. if you really wanna know his true feelings, don't have sex with him. it obviously sounds like ur still in love with him and definitely want a serious relationship. if he wants one with u, he will make an effort to make ur RELATIONSHIP work. if ur still having sex with him, he's getting all the benefits of having you as a girlfriend (i.e. sex all the damn time) without any of the responsibility of actually being your boyfriend (i.e. no title = complete freedom to do whatever and whoever he pleases & you can't say a damn thing about it because "ur not his girlfriend" which is what he will say, trust me). I have been in this situation before and it was HORRIBLE! it totally messes with ur mind and its like, ok does he still love me? does he just want sex? does he even care how I feel? y can't we just be together? the questions are never ending! and it just drives you nuts! of course he's gonna act like ur still dating when ur with each other, that's probably how he's acted with you for a really long time and he's just used to it.. if you really wanna figure things out, stop sleeping with him and make things less complicated on yourself. if he wants you back, let him woo you the old fashioned way, by showing you that he's serious about u. if not, u'll both b on different pages. he may have discussed possible future plans with you back then, but he may have changed his mind. straight up ask him what he wants and see if its what you want too. but don't give up the goods for free, ur worth way more than that.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Find out what he thinks. Confront him and convey your frustration. Hooking up with exs is a nasty business and usually ends up with necessary pain. I've been in the same situation and it ended up with me feeling even worse than I did before.

    Personally, I'd reccomend not chasing the dream of being together. Keep in mind, ex's are ex's for a reason. I keep telling myself the same thing too.

    Stop talking to him for a while and sort your life and feelings out. Spend time apart, discover, and amend the reasons why you broke up in the first place. Otherwise everything will just fall apart again.

    If you're meant to be together you will in the end.

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  • FWB is supposed to be strictly scheduled meetings for just the purpose of sex...think of it like one nights stands but, many of them...you don't talk to each other and you don't do anything that gives away to dating or the appearance of a couple...think of it like prostitution without the transaction...that's the best way to do it so you don't fall into love, which is a big mistake for FWB

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  • You just have to ask. You have to define your relationship with this guy or else he may leave you at any time. He may be ignorant of the way you feel the relationship has gone. FWB is a demeaning arrangement. If he views you as one please end the relationship.

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    • If he will leave her he will leave her...what difference does a name make?

      a rose by any other name.......its not just a boy smelling sweet..its about what is is. & if he is a jerk he s..when people care for each other they want to be together , not because they are coersed ior signed into an arrangement.

  • Then he is just using you. When he feels he has found somebody "better" he would leave you not minding how you feel. Opt out know!

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  • I think he's just using you for the sex. But I don't think that's what he wanted at first. If you allow a guy to continuously have sex with you, and have no title, then you are pretty much asking for it.

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  • look here if you still want to be with him then go ahead...but try with cuation ok...if you really want to be back with him go ahead and try but make sure that ur prepared to hurt IF its bad news...look, what am trying to say is you got one life...even if it doent work out who cares becuase there is tons of guys in this world...if it does gud for u.

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  • hook up sex, no emotions free to see other people, usually the guy and he will get upset if you start seeing someone else...

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What Girls Said 5

  • From what you have stated, I feel this is definately a friends with benefits relationship until you both communicate and make it clear where you both stand in connection to one another. They key here is to talk to him and confront him about it, or else you will never know if he just wants sex or deeps down he wants more.

    Since he has not mentioned anything so far the assumption from his behaviour is that he is definately in this type of commitment to you for sex, what you need to find out is if he is expecting more from this or is happily keeping a distance from you while still having sex.

    If you are happy with how the situation is at the moment, continue having sex, but as you mentioned the 'lingering feelings' I suggest you talk to him and ask him if this will possibly turn into something more, as you want to avoid getting hurt as soon as possible.

    When you have asked him where you both stand in this agreement and explained to him how you feel, depending on his answer, if he wants to continue as the situation is and you're not happy, I suggest you back out of this as soon as possible and don't see him anymore, or else in the long run you will end up getting very heartbroken.

    If, on the other hand, he tells you he still has feelings too, and you have the guarantee it will lead onto more, then continue and build upon it, not just sexually but emotionally and slowly getting back into a relationship again.

    Remember that both of you need to feel the same way to initiate a proper relationship again, if you both feel differently, back out.

    Take care and caution.

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    • I just don't get it.. I mean we were in an exclusive relationship For a Long time...and then .... This happens.. I mean who does that? Date someone for a long time. and then Become Fwb..? ..

      and I have a ton of questions.. - But I don't ... know what to ask...and really.. do you think he'll answer me..?.. because he technically Have no obligations.. to answer any of my questions..

    • Show All
    • You need information to see the situation as a whole, so you know within yourself what he feels and thinks, if this will return to normal or you will both continue this relationship.

    • I mean what should I ask?.. ..... what can I ask?....I mean the only thing I really can do is is to take it day by day and respond to his actions as naturally as possible...

  • Well it seems like it is a FBW thing, But the best thing you can do is sit down with him and talk about how he feels about you and tell him how you feel about him. If there really isn't any strong feelings and you guys are just a FWB thing, My guess is that it's not worth being stuck with one person if you don't connect, and try to find someone you're happy and steady with. Lol I might be wrong, you two might have feelings for eachother, and if that's the case you should make it a steady thing. Just talk it out, Best of luck [:

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  • Um... Have you guys agreed on any kind of label, or are you just seeing what happens?

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    • We were in An exclusive relationship .. ( like we had proper label for each other like b/f.. and gf.. ) and then after his cousin's wedding we went on a "break" and then we are now "friends....

  • I say you ask him about because unless you are you are happy with your present situation (and it sounds like you are not) it is going to continue this way. Just know once you bring it up and he doesn't have feelings for you then the sex and cuddling is going to stop unless that's the direction you want to go.

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  • This is an FWB deal and all that means is that he could not see you as a long-term relationship but he still wants sex. If that works for you, keep having the sex, but be aware that the feelings you have will likely grow and it will become harder as time goes on to end this. Oh, and don't fall into the trap of thinking eventually this will turn back into a relationship. It won't.

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