i am 47, was going out with a 22 year old guy for a year, we never argued and had great fun together, he had anxiety so we never really went out much. About 3 months ago he said he wanted to find someone his own age so he could have a family etc. and he left me. Since then we have texted and emailed every day, he often says he loves me and has been to see me 4 or 5 times. He has a young girlfriend now, yet he still says he loves me and couldn't imagine life without me, he came to visit yesterday and said he felt as though we hadnt split up when he's with me. Common sense tells me its over and he won't come back to me and if I met someone else I would move on more quickly, but what on earth is he really wanting because I can't make him out anymore
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As I read this, I get the impression that you two had a conversation about creating a family. And I'm going to assume that one of you was against it.
Now, don't tell me anything you don't want to share I'm just getting to his motivation.
The other thought is that he decided that you wouldn't be interested in starting a family, so he took it upon himself to do something about it.
Or, the other idea being that he met this girl somewhere, probably at work, or at a regular destination, say a gas station he frequents on the way home. Sounds funny I know, but I know of this happening.
So she thinks highly of him, as he seems more mature than most of the guys she's met, and they both "click", so she springs on him that she wants to start a family, and he thinks "Oh yea, that'd be great!"
Either way you cut it, you have a guy who wasn't interested in the relationship, so much as the other things that came with it. I don't mean sex, I mean like being a dad, having kids to parade in front of his family, the whole "standing" that comes with it.
While his intentions seem honorable, I'd say he has a misconception of relationships and what it takes to build a successful one, where kids can be created and be successful as well.
His hanging around and such is guilt. He wants to hang on, because he realizes now that his relationship with you was more true even though he put in the same effort as he does with his current girl. In other words, he realizes he has a gem, and he blew it.
For your sake, move on, he's conflicted and unsure of what he wants or what he expects from life. I'm even willing to say he's more worried about what others expect of him rather than what he expects of himself.
Just blow him off like he did you, calmly and carefree.