Should a girl let go of a guy when they say they're not ready?

Ive been seen this guy for 8 months from the beginning he told me he was not ready for a relationship couple of months later I express to him that I was in love with him he has shared the same emotion but his still not ready. he has taken me to traveling trips he was there for me when I needed him his good to my children, but as of may he changed completely text phone calls have down graded, don't look for me very often, we had a problem he looked for me a month after apologizing saying he cares but then we had another problem last week in wish I felted very bad because he heard me saying to someone that I felted used by him when I watch his child. the only reason I made that comment is because when I text him and he doesn't reply it makes me think his with someone else and the only reason that I have that insecurity is because when we stopped talking it was because I found out he took his ex wife out. I have text call he ignores me rarely he will reply. last night I send him a text saying that I would like to speak to him and he said tomorrow OK. The real factor is that I'm getting divorce on Monday and as I get divorce I want to leave everything that is no good in my life behind and start a whole new life weather is with him or not. I'm deeply in love and is very hard for me to stop texting calling him because of the emotions that I have. I don't know how to approach him tonight I want to ask him if his ready because if his not due to my divorce I have to make new decisions. I just don't know how to ask without pressuring him. Should I call or text tonight to see if were still on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello,

    With men its allot different that it is with women, when a women says she's not ready its best to take it as read and walk away.. however with men there's a difference..

    I know a number of couples where the man had got divorced.. that had started dating and told the women ahead of time that they are not looking for anything majour.. however after a few years of going out the man had fallen in love and moved and asked the new women to marry him..

    now everyone is different.. ask youself what you want, if your happy with what you have now.. the time you have with him now.. and given you know he feels the same way it may be worth taking your time and being patient..

    that said given where you both are it may also be best f you have a cooling period.. work out where you both are and what's best for you..

    p.s.. no don't call him, you alread have a plan in mind.. just relax..

    good luck



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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • take it from someone who knows first hand, when a man says he's not ready for a relationship, believe him. you can't love him enough for both of you or love him into being ready. you may get him but you won't get much out of him. concentrate on your own life for now and let him work out his problems. then you'll both be in a better place for a satisfying relationship.

  • it depends on who YOU are as an individual. if you think your not ready then yes let him know or he may think of odder thoughts like you don't like him or if a guy isn't ready kinda ask him about it. if he doesn't want to answer just leave it alone. both of you will be ready at one point, it just won't be at the same time

  • He says he is not ready, takes his ex wife out... I think you should walk away. Just tell him that you want a relationship and if he is not ready to be committed and be with you and only you, you'll have to leave. You know what you want but he obviously doesn't.