If he leaves her am I a rebound?

A few weeks ago my brothers girlfriend mentioned that one of my brothers friends was interested in meeting me, but my brother told him not before he finishes with his girlfriend. Only 4 days later however, our paths crossed and we met. My brother and his Girlfriend orchestrated it so that he gave me a lift home and as it happened, we hit it off really well and ended up talking for 4 hours! He told me he was unhappy with his Girlfriend and if it wasn't that they lived together, then they wouldn't be together now (which is what my brothers Girlfriend had said before we met.) Since then, we have text non-stop, and met up a few times, but he's currently in Cyprus with her and friends. He's text me everyday telling me he can't wait to get back to see me, and he's going to move back to his mum's and leave her. If he does and we get together, am I going to be a rebound?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well he's moving out back into his moms house, so he well actually some guys would never do that... if he's moving into his mothers house and dumping her an his house fo you I think your safe, just take it sloww.

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What Guys Said 9

  • They're living together. That's why he hasn't moved on yet. He doesn't want to make things worse in his current situation.

    And your brother is looking out for you. Although he wants this guy to move on and ditch the girlfriend, he probably thought 'screw it' and had you two meet up anyway before the ordeal happens.

    Rebound? No, I wouldn't say so. Individuals usually just hook up after a breakup to feel better and get over their ex as fast as possible. The company and sex is there, but their feelings for their ex still linger on. And it sounds to me that this guy would have no problem getting over his girlfriend if he isn't happy with her as it is. Consider yourself a better opportunity. And besides, GIRLS DO THIS SH*T TOO. They go out and meet a new guy, flirt with him, and hopefully hook up while their lousy boyfriend is left at home as a backup plan. SHEESH, both parties just can't let go of one branch on the tree until they get ahold of the next.

    There are problems here though. This guy ... HAS NO BALLS. None. He's avoiding conflicts with his girlfriend instead of trying to deal with them and make the relationship better. He doesn't speak his mind, does he? Not only that, he WENT ON THE TRIP TO CYPRUS with his girlfriend anyway, despite the fact that he's unhappy with her? What the f*ck ... why not stay at home and hang out with you instead? Why not do WHAT HE WANTS TO DO? His girlfriend would take the hint that he's planning to break up with her.

    Not only that - he's gonna move back home with his mum? HUH? Why not kick her out? Pack up her stuff while she's off in Greece? This sort of behavior from him suggests to me that he's a WUSSY. A beta male who's not direct, evasive with arguments, and not sticking up for himself when he needs to. And the reason why he's gotten so unhappy with her, is because HE LET HER BECOME A SPOILED B*TCH. She's got him on the ball-and-chain and he's being dragged around.

    So you know what? My best advice is to put him in the friend zone until you see some more alpha behavior exhibited from him. Otherwise, he'll drop you when you start calling the shots in the relationship, and it'll be the same scenario. This guy needs to grow a pair.

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    • You know what, I think your exactly right, and have come to the conclusion I am more worthy than someone who feels the need to scout a new girlfriend before leaving his current one. Having been single for 4 years now I'm very cautious, and not prepared to be lured by anyone who cannot provide for himself, stand up to me and fight his own corner. And if I have to ask questions like this, I think I secretly know my own answer. Thank you :)

  • He's living with her? And thinking of leaving her? What a jewel of a guy!

    It's more likely that you're a ``serial'' than a ``rebound''.

    Bear in mind that the same thing may happen to you.

    Ted

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  • Yes, of course you are. That's a problem but on the other and you're going to know everything abot him, and that's compensation, no? A lot of people are together many years from this situation!

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  • 4 days is too early. your definitely going to be a rebound. if his ex wanted him back he might just leave you

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  • I think your feeling is all that matter, don't try to think about it too much its just the way society goes ..

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  • maybe maybe not but I say jsut take that chance if he turns out to only be using you for a rebound kick his ass and leave him high and dry that the best ting I can say

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  • Yup you sure are

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  • yes, you're a rebound. sorry.

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  • This may be an odd question, but if he is planning to break up with her why is he vacationing with her?

    Be careful of guys like this, you're likely to wind up in the same position as the current girlfriend (if you even get that far).

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    • It had been booked and paid for for a while. Hmmm, not lookin good tho is it?!

    • No, it's not. Always be wary of guys (or girls) that jump from one relationship to another. It's a strong sign they are afraid to be alone and will stick with a partner they don't like until they find something better.

What Girls Said 5

  • Yeah you could, so be careful. It kinda sounds like he's almost looking for an excuse to either break up with his girlfriend or cheat on her. You don't want to be that excuse.

    A guy who's basically sneaking around his girlfriend's back while they are living together sounds like a recipe for trouble.

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  • i feel sorry for her that he said that. he's officially with her still even if he's unhappy. it won't be that great to move further until he makes up his mind.

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  • hmmm its kinda confusing isn't it both sides of the argument make good points but in the end ,its what you choose that's gonna land you where you'll be,i think you should probably wait a little while see if he really does break-up with his girlfriend and move back in with his mum if he really does do all those things then wait a little bit more again see how he acts and stuff really get to know him then let it gradually build up to a relationship if that's what you want it to be in the end,if you do all these things and you end up together your hardly a rebound then right?...right?

    but like if it doesn't work out you can always just say you only dated him because your bro told you,it'll hit home truuust me.

    anyways hope that helped lol:)

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  • I wouldn't say your a rebound but out of respect , you shouldn't pursue any relationship with him until he is single and moved out of his girlfriends place.

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  • Well, if he was unhappy when he was with her and isn't heartbroken about the break up, then I don't think it's a rebound.

    I agree with the Anonymous dude, why are they vacationing together... lol

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    • He could have sold the tickets to a mutual friend and given his girlfriend an excuse if he really wanted to back out. Also, if he doesn't know you all that well, how could he be so burning to see you already?

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