As a single parent, why is it so hard to meet and date people?

I am a single dad and share my kids with the mother. Although there is very limited contact between me and her, it still kinda becomes a problem. I know most people say that their own kids are beautiful, but when everyone tells me my kids are the most beautiful kids they have ever seen, that speaks a lot. So I see me with my kids are an amazing package for someone. Now don't get me wrong I know a lot of single women don't want to become an instant mother, but that isn't how it would be with me. I'm a single dad before they came into my life so there isn't any emphasis for them to be an instant parent. Also I know a lot of women have a hard time accepting the fact it won't be the guys first kid let alone it won't be as special if it was her and his first kid. I'm just curious is there anything to be done about this or is it literally something I will forever have to deal with?


0|0
5|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel your pain! ...I'm 26 single parent with 2 little boys. I can't get along with their dad for the life of me, therefore there is little contact. I don't really know how to give you the answer you are looking for. I guess I haven't had a problem really meeting guys as much as getting them to want to continue seeing me. I've heard that I try to hard. ...In my defense though, it is rare that I find someone that amazingly attracts me to them! lol. You know, just be yourself, and take care of your kids. You're still single because God's going to send you someone amazingli special. Just be patient. You and your kids are an amazing package, and it wouldn't be anything less without the perfect woman that fits in with you and your kids. GL! :)

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • I think a lot of people without children want a partner that would focus their attention on them. Having children it's impossible, because if you're a father like I'm a mother - children come first.

    Without experiencing parenthood, it's hard to come to terms with that. I know it sounds selfish, I'm sure the people you would be dating would feel selfish - which is another deterrent to dating a parent. The feeling of guilt when the good will runs out. It's hard enough to maintain a relationship, having one with a person who can't give you 100% makes it even tougher.

    Be patient. There are those out there who are willing to accept your role in your children's lives as well as the role they themselves will have in their lives. You just have to have faith.

    Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Alright, that's a tough one. But the thing is, your kids are an integral part of your life. Any woman needs to accept that before getting into a relationship with you. Some women don't like kids, and some don't want to deal with the baggage of the mother. If she's right for you, she'll love them as much as she'll love you. Personally, I think dating a man with kids would be a blessing. A lot of marriages or relationships break up once kids come into the picture, so this way you can both see how the other handles being a parental figure. Kids are a huge responsibility, but an even bigger blessing.

    So, in a nutshell, yes, you will have to deal with this. But it doesn't have to be a burden :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • You are a blessing in the sky for such an answer cause that is exactly how I feel about the situation. Yes kids can be a huge responsibility, but an even bigger blessing.

    • Good, I hope it helped :)

  • maybe people assume that you're going to want something more serious right away because of your kids. well me personally, I don't have any kids. I really like children but I would be suspicious because I have heard this quote "baby daddy can get it whenever he wants it" its a hood quote lol basically saying that if a guy has a kid with a girl, she will always be available to him because they have that bond. like when he goes over there for visitation I don't want to have to worry about him f***ing her, and some baby mamas can be spiteful too like they don't want their baby daddy to move on and will try to come between you just to make him miserable. so I would be suspicious based on that point. I do know girls who are open to dating guys with kids though. my cousin is dating this guy that has a 3 year old son and she's pretty much taking care of him now so it does happen, it just might be a road block. good luck though

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks appreciate the info and a little note about the hood quote. Sometimes its true sometimes it's not, they are an ex for a reason, but there will be clear signs to know if that guy would still be messing with her.

  • You're 24 years old so I'm going to assume that the age of the girls you're looking for are between 20 and 27. If you're looking to date girls younger than you, having children is going to be problem because girls that young aren't looking for responsibilities. And I know you said that it doesn't mean the girl is going to be an instant mom but in reality, I don't see it working out that way because obviously your children are a huge part of your life and this girl is going to have to be a part of your children's lives.

    "I know most people say that their own kids are beautiful, but when everyone tells me my kids are the most beautiful kids they have ever seen, that speaks alot. So I see me with my kids are an amazing package for someone. "

    --->

    Appearance isn't everything. I'm sure your kids are beautiful but that doesn't automatically mean someone is going to accept them just like that. It takes time and a really special person to be able to bond and accept someone else kids.

    "Also I know a lot of women have a hard time accepting the fact it won't be the guys first kid let alone it won't be as special if it was her and his first kid."

    -->

    Very true. There would be concern that you might not be able to spread your attention equally and fairly among all your kids. Clearly each woman is going to want you to make their kid a priority and you can't do that. Someone is going to be neglected just a little bit.

    ------------------------------------

    Personally, I'm 22 and at this point in my life I wouldn't date someone with children for all the above reasons. But that's just me, I can't speak for everyone

    1|0
    0|0
    • Don't look for woman younger than me, honestly I don't have anything specific I look for.

What Guys Said 1

  • You have to find someone at the same place as you. Without a kid, you're open to a lot more people. I'd guess a lot of women aren't ready to take care of a kid yet.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...