Is there such thing as texting each other too much?

[omega33655]

Hello, thank you for taking time to answering this

first of all, I want to kind of explain my situation. I've been single (not counting flings) for a really long time. Have had bad experiences with women that have left me a bit bitter, scared, anxious and untrusting of women. So, please bear my dumb questions.

I was introduced to a girl via facebook, I made a compliment on her tagged pic of a mutual friend. apparently, the girl really liked the comment and asked her friend to hook us up.

We've been talking for about a week, and we started texting on Monday or Tuesday of last week. She's been texting me a lot, and so have I. I've even sent texts that didn't say much in particular and she has kept the conversations going many of those times and often a reply within two mins.

she is 19 and I'm 23. sometimes, there is breaks of a couple of hours at most, when we're not texting.

Im afraid of over texting and making it boring. I mean, its really both of us that have kept the texts going, but I originally did not want to text her so much to leave conversation for our date that might happen this weekend. However, she seems to really want to talk to me and I did not want to be rude...but I DO try to not make all my response to quick as to appear a bit busy at times.

We've been texting for a few days in a row back and forth, and our conversations are usually pretty good.

should I lay off the texting? is it a bad idea to be texting her back so much? I don't want her to loose interest but I also don't want her to get bored.

also, her parents are pretty over protective over her. we MIGHT go out this weekend but she has to tell her parents and introduce me to them.

Apparently, the Dad is pretty overprotective and will try to intimidate me. She is also worried that my age might make them uneasy..not a huge difference right?

how should I try and make a good impression?

Updates

+1 y

i should probably mention that I AM indeed pretty interested and she is QUITE a looker. I've dated some good looking girls in my past but none like her! she is a total 10!

[moaterboat]

Texting is the worst way to communicate in our modern world. It allows for no body language, no voice inflection, several minutes to come up with an answer, and worst of all, instant access to another person.

Okay let me explain why all that is bad.

No body language

Experts will tell you that body language actually conveys more information than the words being spoken. I don't know how they actually measure this, but it is obviously true.

By taking this valuable communication tool out of the equation you are actually making things far worse for the both of you in the long run.

No voice inflection

This is similar to body language. The same words can mean so many different things based on how exactly they are said. You lose this when you don't actually hear a voice.

Several minutes to come up with an answer

That may sound like a good thing at first, until you remember that relationships are all about the time spent together, so anything done while not together should be done to benefit the time you are together. By allowing yourself several minutes to decide what to say, and then delivering it in small segments, you are setting yourself up for failure when you actually talk face to face. Think of it like this, would you prepare for a competition by practicing against people that are far worse than you? Of course not! Learn to think on your feet and provide semi-coherent somewhat logical responses while talking on the phone and you might have a chance of doing the same thing when you are actually sitting across from her looking her in the eye.

Instant access, Instant access to pizza delivery? Good. Instant access to emergency care? Great! Instant access to a potential significant other? BAD! Mystery, longing, curiosity, all these help to build interest in each other. By texting all the time you run the risk of making yourself old and boring before she even gets to know you. You need to maintain a bit of an air of mystery to let her imagination run.

As for the rest of it, don't let her dad intimidate you. Give him a firm handshake, look him in the, don't slouch. If you don't give him anything to dislike then you have nothing to worry about.

[unn0129]

About the texting thing; you always want to find a healthy balance between texting a girl enough to give her the attention that she wants AND also giving her time to herself. Girls are human beings with minds of their own, and they do like it when they have time to themselves. My idea is if she continuously responds to your texts, that's a good sign, but you also don't wanna be texting her 24/7 because that could over-saturate the relationship and make things a little boring.

Like the girl I'm currently courting really enjoys texting, and she says that I text her a good amount, but I don't really text her too much. I mean, we may exchange about a dozen texts a day. But I do avoid texting her every minute of the day. I may text her like 5 or 6 times in the morning, then avoid texting her for a few hours and text her a few times later in the afternoon/evening. Thing is, if you don't text her but she initiates the text conversation, then go ahead and respond.

But I know what you mean by your concern about giving a girl too much attention. I think every guy fears that.

[nermalinda]

Do what you feel. If you enjoy texting her and are having fun, then do it. If you think it's getting boring, then back off a little bit.

Nowadays some people text a LOT. It can be a less intimidating way to get to know someone, such as in your situation. That might be why she's texting you so much. She probably likes the attention from a bit older guy, otherwise she wouldn't bother.

However, the situation with her parents is a little sketchy. I mean clearly, they are really worried about people taking advantage of her, probably because of her looks. And she is still pretty young. But overprotective parents can be annoying to say the least and too much drama in the worst case. One reason she might be texting you so much is because it's one thing she IS allowed by her parents.

Look at you meeting her parents as YOU assessing them rather than the other way around. You want to find out if they're going to have to be approving every date you go on and putting way too much pressure on this girl. If you feel like the dad is just putting up a front to scare away potential players and just wants to make sure you're a good guy, that's one thing. But if he expects you to make sure she's always home by 9pm and gonna bitch you out if you break up with her or something - well, just try to be observant.

Focus on trying to get to know the girl. At 24 it's likely that you might want something more serious than she does. The main issue with age difference is what both sides are looking to get out of the relationship. On the other hand, if she is idealist or naive, she might be more serious than you without really knowing what she's getting into. Just be aware of all this. If you decide you really like her as a person, things could work out. Just realize that if most people see her as a 10, there could be quite a bit of drama in her life.

[omega33655]

Thanks for your answer. You put a lot of sense into it!

[AFchick89]

if your conversation flows as easy as you say it does then I dnt think you will have a problem on your date. If you have a fear of the convo being boring then maybe she is not a person you will ever be able to get comfortable with. you will always feel the need to impress her. that's not fun. but like I said if its smooth then you have nothin to worry about. as far as the dad subject goes be nice be polite answer all his questions and dnt get cocky but dnt let him see that he has intimidated you if he has. trust me my dad is like that too. he will think your jst a kid and nothing more if he sees he can get to you. and then he will jst complain about you to her all the time. but if he sees your a man ...a"respectable" young man that's not gonna do anything to harm or influence his daughter u'll be good. hope this helps! ;)

[joycee]

text her, you just met so there is so much to talk about on the first date. and meeting the parents is normal, your 23 of drinking age she's not, you should be happpy that she was honest with her folks about you keeping you hidden (believe me some girls do it) would have been a bad idea. because if she lies to her parents about something as simple as a guy then you don't want her, I say enjoy the ride, text her, if you want to space out your replies then do it, it'll keep her wondering about you, but don't play with her heart. and about the past relationships, leave them where they are... in the past she's not them learn from thoes mistakes and keep going trust me they'll make you a better man, goodluck on the date!

[Anonymous]

I met a guy over Facebook a while back too. We would talk on MSN Messenger or text every single day. (no joke.) We did this for about 8 months straight, and NEVER got bored of each other, or ran out of things to talk about. Then we started talking on the phone, which is even better, and way more fun. So I don't think there's a such thing as texting too much, unless you're actually being annoying, like telling her every single little thing that happens in your day, or texting her nonstop when you know she's really busy. And yeah, maybe try phone calls, theyre amazing and much better.

[ErikElektric]

I only send over 8k texts a month, over half to my girlfriend. While texting is great and can keep you in touch with other people, it can drain the conversation out of you. I find that if I'm hanging out with someone that day I only text them to get us to the hanging out because I find that if we talk over text I run out of things to say to them and it makes things awkward.

As far as age differences go parents see a small gap as huge especially if its underage dating over or even under 21 dating over or under, the gaps don't matter as much when you are older so they only matter now if you let them bother you.

[gecko235]

Me and my ex use to text alot, and I mean alot. The problem is, when you go to see you, you run out of things to say. What are you suppose to say when you see her most days and text every 5 min.

If you can keep the convo going that's great, but it can b a double edged sword

[hersheysxoxo]

only way you can be texting too much is if your text relationship is stronger than your real one. if not, and if it makes you two happy, then keep on truckin!

hope I helped =)

[oneforthetruth]

Yeah I run out of bloody credit...! I being a poor working class can't yet afford contract..meh

[Vieanna]

Yeah, texting can get annoying sometimes. You should call and talk, it's much more personal.