We've been together for about 6 months, and I care about her very much. She's very loving, pretty, and smart; all that a man could ask for. However I can't, at times, seem to shake this feeling of wanting to be with other women (that I know personally) who I know I could also be compatible with. I tend to get a lot of attention from the opposite sex as is, but I wish I could just turn my head and NOT be attracted to these other women. It's a gut wrenching feeling, as I know she will never leave me. So my questions are as follows:
1.) Is this a common feeling that other people in relationships share?
2.) If so, should I just ignore these other feelings and ride it out?
Most Helpful Girl
I have a boyfriend who presents with what I call "magpie behaviour" (ooh look shiney thing). He doe not even realize he is looking most of the time and it does make me sad so the first thing I would do is be aware that when you are with her she will notice you looking at other women. Try to tone it down when you are with her
but it sounds like more than "shiney thing" for you. To quote you:
"However I can't, at times, seem to shake this feeling of wanting to be with other women (that I know personally) who I know I could also be compatible with"
You are doing more than just turning your head, you are thinking about compatability and looking at people you know personally. I said to my boyfriend once. I'm not really bothered by who you fancy, Fancying is what you do to the person just walkig downt he street or a celeb. What gets to someone is when you "like" someone. That's having stronger feelings for someone you would like to or do have a connection with.
To me it seems like, right now, you are not ready to commit. I know I behave/feel like this when I am not in my heart of hearts emotionally committed to someone. Have you ever been in a relationship where you have not felt the compulsion to really analyse what it would be like to be with women you know personally?
I have been with guys who are insecure and feel the need to keep one foot out the door the whole time but still say they love me and I have been with guys who were 100% committed and I was their shiney thing so I think its false when people claim its just "human instinct". Its normal to have it happen every so often, meet someone who would be special when you are attached but if its happening all the time then you have to question the signals you are sending out. My opinion of the options?
1) you are not fully comitted to the relationship at the moment/yet
2) you are sending out "available" signals out of insecurity or habit
If you want to give this relationship a chance then you have to have boundaries with other girls and really try to do something which will be enjoyable and bond you to your girlfriend. Maybe a holiday somewhere where neither of you know anyone doing something you both enjoy. You may know you are compatable but its your experiences together which bond you together. go and have some :)1