I really need your thoughts on what is going on with me right now. I have been seeing this guy for 3 weeks, maybe once or twice a week because of work and other stuff. He is not romantic or affectionate. He told me he wants us to be more than friends and start dating officially. I haven't given him an answer yet because I have just gotten out of another "unofficial" relationship, meaning this other guy treated me as his girlfriend but I was not. I have been hurt before, hence the hesitation to commit.
I am an affectionate woman, loves hugs and kisses and of course, the texts and calls. My previous guy was into that, constantly reminding me of how much he misses me, etc... This new guy is not. I told him I understand that he is the way he is and I'll try to accept it. He said that is why he likes me, because I try to understand him even though he knows it is hard for me not to constantly communicate with him.
I am confused though because he does not call me everyday or even text me. If I ask him something through text, he will answer but that is about it. The last time we went out, we saw a movie and he was really sweet, he held my hand, and kissed my forehead. After the movie, we went back to his place, cuddled and I told him I like him. His reply was, "you better". And then explained that he also likes me more than I know, that when he is busy at work, he thinks of me. But he didn't volunteer that information, I had to ask him.
Am I over thinking things when he doesn't call or text? I know that that is not the only way to find out if a guy still likes you but it has been bugging me. It has come to a point where I want to start our relationship officially to see if things will be different. I just need a deeper understanding because I would like to commit to him but I'm not sure where I stand.
Most Helpful Girl
Well give it a shot if you really like him... But my philosphy is always, things should be easy in the beginning, and it sounds like you guys are already clashing in communication. That doesn't bode well for the long term. That doesn't mean it's doomed, and if you guys are a complete match other places (interest, intellect, in the bedroom), then it's worth working on.
But analyzing why he does/doesn't text/call/etc. is kinda pointless. It's just the way he is. And you shouldn't worry yourself over you WANTING texts/calls/etc. It's just the way YOU are. So either find some common ground that satisfies both of you, or drop it.
PS: I know you're maybe scared of being hurt again, but I think you're applying the right idea to the wrong person. The other guy didn't want to date you officially; that's what hurt you. This guy DOES. So being afraid that this new guy is gonna hurt you in a similar way isn't reasonable, because he's already proving he won't! You might wanna take some time on your own just to work out those issues, so you don't drag old baggage that has nothing to do with the new guy into your relationship. Maybe suggest you two continue to go on official dates, and set a time limit for the "where is this going" talk.1