How faithful should you be to your significant other?

One of my friends has three boyfriends.

Another friend is dating a guy with a girlfriend of three years, and they've slept in the same bed together.

I tend to occasionally have crushes on guys who aren't my boyfriend. I never act on them, but I do flirt a bit.

How faithful should you be to your significant other?

  • Don't even think about other people.
    21% (34)28% (29)23% (63)Vote
  • Don't flirt with other people.
    40% (66)25% (26)34% (92)Vote
  • Don't go on a date with other people.
    24% (39)29% (30)26% (69)Vote
  • Don't kiss other people.
    4% (7)7% (7)5% (14)Vote
  • Don't have sex with other people.
    11% (18)11% (13)12% (31)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Option "A" is so funny! Mind control ain't cute... and if that's what someone really expects they should actually expect to be alone. Option "B" is a natural part of being young and alive. Flirting happens very naturally- at the bank, the supermarket, at work... it's pretty much a meaningless consequence of communicating with others. Option "C"... well... that is murky. A couple should talk about what constitutes a date. In my opinion, if you can't tell your partner about it then something is askew. Naturally option "D" is a little too close for comfort (for me anyway), but some couples are "okay" with their partners kissing other people. Option "E"... well... I think only Larry David would be able to explain how that doesn't constitute cheating (there actually was an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that relates to that!).

    =)

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What Guys Said 10

  • Let me tell you a short story...

    The year was 2002... Due to prior circumstances, I took a vow of asceticism (meaning self denyal, and non-sexuality). I was dating a woman while in the army. I went to a friend's wedding. She did not go, because she was at work (she was a civilian worker at the post exchange). At the reception, I was the only man to be seated during a dance. A woman came to me and asked me why was I sitting there. I told her that I am content where I was. She peeled me away from my seat to dance. After the dance, I went back to my seat. She proceeded to sit on my lap or whatnot (well, she tried flirting with her, and due to my lack of response, I guess she thought I was playing "hard to get" or such nonsense...). As she attempted, I pushed her. I told her I was not "in to her", and told her to get away from me. Somehow, one of my ex's gossop friends just happen to be there and lied to her about the situation and told her that we were hitting it off. Later out of a half-baked revenge plot, she cheated on me with my roommate. I know she cheated, because I caught them in the act! She claimed that because I did not have sex with her, I was getting it from someone else. I explained to her what happened at the party, what happened in the past, and why I wanted to wait until we were married before I had sex with her. She was stunned. I remained calm, although I wanted to rip her f***ing head off and shove it up her ass! Nevertheless, I told her that I would never even look at another woman if I were in a relationship with someone already. She wanted for me to forgive her. I told her, "The sky shall be red as blood, as well as hell to freeze over before I forgive you!" I demanded my engagement ring from her. I placed a restraining order against her. We never saw each other again. I subsequently never dated again. I don't cheat. To me, even looking at another woman, even to check her out while being in a relationship constitutes the intent to cheat.

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    • Wow... I really don't think that she should have jumped to conclusions and asked you first.

      my boyfriend kept on asking his ex if she was cheating on him. his friends told him they saw her with some other dudes at the hotel. he kept on asking her for 3 months and she didn't deny it. She kind of flaunted the fact tht she had a l ot of guy friends... so they couldn't live together anymore since she was cheating on him... and he left her... but yeah... good luck, not with that girl but with another

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    • I am taking the more cynical approach.... If she exists, she is probably already married. Moreover, I gave myself a time limit of 3 years. If I am not at least engaged with someone by the time I am 35, I will call it quits, and continue the ascetic lifestyle. Nothing more than a hermit. I believe that the purpose of sex is to procreate alone. I do not desire to raise teenagers past 52 years old. To me, the only legitimate sexual contact is while married with your spouse.

    • Now that I think of it, I approached a few women in the past that I was attracted to, but all of them were either married or engaged. I am not one to ruin other people's relationships. I don't desire to hurt others, and live a respectable life. Moreover, I live in the detroit area... Interestingly enough, people here are f*cking insane anyhow. I had a relative killed by his gf's jealous ex-boyfriend. So, in that event, I don't want a reason to kill out of self defense....

  • obviously you're going to have thoughts about other people. that's human nature. but if you're in a relationship you should avoid even thinking about other people.. even though it's nearly impossible to avoid. and flirting is a most definite NO. and as far as dating, kissing, and sex goes... you may as well not be in a relationship at all if you're being intimate with multiple people. that's quite obvious.

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  • I wouldn't cheat on my girl- I'm just that sort of guy. However, that doesn't mean I can't look to satisfy my physical desires in her absence. I like to think of it like a museum- you can look, but don't touch. To me, though it is true that cheating is in and of itself completely truly desire for another who isn't one's other, I put no such desire in looking at other girls when my dearest is away from my side. Naturally, though, when I am with her, she fills my cup, and at these times I very certainly need and desire no other.

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  • Think but don't act... I picked B

    I would think its abnormal if you don't scan, we are humans, and in men it's in our blood but up to us to remain a good man.

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  • I may look, but I don't touch or mess with, and besides Loyalty is one of my strongest virtue.

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  • i go don't date other people.

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  • I would say, have sex with everyone you meet. LOL, I'm kidding. No, don't think about other guys, except the one you've no interests.

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  • maybe a little flirting but still

    its your significant other... I would say none of the above haha

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  • A is way to extreme. I picked B.

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    • Yeah... if I'm in a relationship and I see some other girl, it just makes me want to be with my girlfriend... so I guess I technically think of other people, but not really.

  • all of above

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What Girls Said 10

  • You should not flirt with other people when in a relationship, in my opinion. That's why you are with your partner - because you love them and are attracted to them.

    When you flirt, no matter how innocently, it gives off the vibe that you are luring them in and that you are single. Which is not right and not fair to your partner.

    If you really, really like someone, you can dedicate them a few thoughts - but if you're so far you are pretending your boyfriend or girlfriend ARE them, I suggest you reconsider your relationship.

    It's fine if you think monogamy isn't for you. It's good you figured it out. Just always make sure your significant others know about your views and needs. You can be anything you like, as long as you're truthful.

    That's all, folks ! =D

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  • Well, It is kind of different for everyone. You know not thinking about other people is hard, I mean the mind is a curious thing, Flirting is another one that is hard, because sometimes being friendly comes across as flirting, I'm a very friendly person, where my boyfriend sees it as flirting although I'm not remotely attracted to the other person, but he feels it is wrong, and the last three, I think are pretty unfaithful, and if you are going to do those things, why be with one specific person? If you are dating someone or in a relationship, shouldn't that mean you want commitment to that person? Why be in a relationship if you can't focus on that one person. you know?

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    • Yeah, I find myself being friendly to people I'm attracted to. I try not to be too overly friendly so as to advance that relationship.

    • Just be careful, if you are with someone, ask them what they feel is unfaithful. That may also help the situation. Being friendly isn't bad, but comments leaading to possible relations progressing into more isn't a good thing. Your boyfriend will be able to determine what he feels is unfaithful and maybe you can help gage where you find a boundary as well (: Good luck sweets.

  • Honestly I think a little flirting is okay as long as you aren't hitting on them and as long as that's your personality. But I think thinking about other people is worse because you're emotionally cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend

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    • You know what I give this a thumbs up because I can totally relate to it. I work a service job, so part of my job is being friendly to people, no matter who they are, be they a good looking guy or a really unattractive guy, or a girl. Emotionally cheating can get carried away.

    • Yeah and what I mean by thinking about other people is thinking about them in a way where you have feelings for them or could want to date them, not just "oh he/she is really cute" because that sort of thing can't be helped either you're always going to be attracted to other people

  • I think sometimes it could be difficult to not think about other people at all, but I don't think I would flirt with someone (unless it's the type of flirting you don't realize you're doing).

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  • I don't think you can stop someone from thinking about another person. In fact, sometimes I think about guys that aren't my boyfriend or I'll check them out really quick. But I would never flirt with another guy while I'm in a relationship. And I would expect my boyfriend to respect me enough to not make another girl think he's even slightly interested in her.

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  • Some people think just because you smile and laugh at lame joke it's flirting. I guess it's how the person you're seeing feels about your reaction. Having a conversation with a memeber of the opposite sex can seem that way from a distance, but you might actually be annoyed by having to talk to this person. Your boyfriend/girlfriend may not pick up on that, and there is the whole explaining crap that goes onw hen you get home. Slippery slope.

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  • i don't think any one is in any position to say what others should do but when I'm with someone I'm with them 110% I don't even think about other people.

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  • You can't help thinking about other people or thinking other people are attractive it's human nature, the point of being faithful is not acting on those thoughts. You can't choose what you think but can choose what you do

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  • well personally I don't want my man thinkin of other chicks, but I know its natural and so is flirting so in reality the answer is c, or d if its not serious

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  • In my opinion, if you give thought about another person, than don't be with me. I can easily find a guy that won't picture, think, imagine, etc... about another person...Voted A

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    • That's what you think.

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    • Never ever think about that. And celebrities really don't faze me at all. The only person I picture naked and having sex with is my boyfriend that's it

    • I totally agree with her, and this is how I feel about my girlfriend as well

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