Was I wrong?

Hello all.

I have been seeing a girl with a boyfriend for almost a year now. She told me she was unhappy and going to break up, so I thought What the hell. We met at a friends place after a night of drinks and ended up wrestling on the couch for hours. I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't let me. The next day my buddy told me how much she was into me and the next week we did the same thing, only I got to kiss her, and had sex a few days later. As the months went by, she wasn't ditching here boyfriend and I was bugging her, along with a mutual friend who we work with. What ever my "girl" said, this friend would pass it on to me. Things began to die off and I suspected she was looking for other guys and I wasn't good enough anymore.Communication stopped.Hanging out stopped.But she insisted it was her being confused and had lots going on with her life and had little time for me.But there was no one else. I witnessed her lie to her boyfriend, who caught rumours about us, and I had trust issues with her, obviously.

Now just this past week I got a text from her saying she misses me and wanted to make plans for the weekend. She canceled. I find out on Monday, via the mutual friend, that she was at a poker party till 8 am and met a cop (married with a family) who she spent the night on the couch with, flirting (but not kissing). She also said that "my girl" thought he was hot and wanted to go back this week cus he was supposed to be there again. I instantly freaked out because I gave her the opportunity to let me go and she said she still wanted me. I left her a message saying I can't believe how f@$ked up she is. She should have let me go, instead of leading me on and playing the field. I told her I don't want any explanations, cus I saw the bs she told her boyfriend .And that was it. She called and told me I have no right assuming anything and whoever told me was a liar. She said she would never mess around with a married guy. I figured.Why ask her? She will only lie.And it came from the mutual friend who said that's what "my girl" told her. The mutual friend told me cus she knows how much I like this girl and she didn't want me to get hurt. My girl then told me to never talk to her and never message her again.

Was I wrong? I just feel like it is true from what I saw in the past and what she did with this guy was the same thing we did. She told me it was all him.He kept trying to make out with her and cuddle with her and she says she wanted nothing to do with him. I think she had to have given him the right signs. And she stayed all night. What I want to know is should she be that mad? Or is her behavior more of a guilty nature?


Most Helpful Guy

  • damn man. don't it just SUCK to still catch feelings in a situation you KNOW you shouldnt? she cheated on her man, no, her HUSBAND with you on the first encounter. in your head you shouldve said to yourself, wow, I still got it at 30-35(whatever your age is) and let it end at that. your only mad cause you caught feelings, never mind that she is a cheat and a liar. she is a player, and she may not even feel guilty. I know it sucks when you have sex with a woman and, you make plans to hook up again, and she is screwing another man, BIG hit on the ego!

    try really hard to let the feelings go, and not care no more. cause your gonna hurt yourself. I know it gotta suck to be single still, but like I said, you should be happy you still got game, to still get one night stands. being alone sucks, but being with a cheat, is by far, worse than being alone. don't get mad at the mutual friend. just try to let the girl go. anyone caught in their lies, automatically get defensive to try to flip the role, you should know that by now.

    let this just be another lesson and move on to one that is NOT married. good luck out there!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She doesn't want to settle. If she just wanted YOU then she would have broken up with her boyfriend aLOOOOOONG time ago. She's leading him on, you on, and anyone else. There is obviously no trust and absolutely no grounds to base trust off of so leave the situation as is. Don't take any excuses from her. Find someone else who wants you and only you. If she finally decided to break up with her boyfriend and date you, who's to say she won't do the same thing to you she's doing to him. Hell she already is only you know about it and he doesn't. Hell, I'd almost be tempted to save her boyfriends ass by telling him everything but that's up to you totally. All of this is. But it's all bullshit what she's doing to everyone. She is not a good person.

    It shows age 30-35 at the top so I'm assuming she is around that age as well. I read this and I swear the situation was based off late teenage early 20's behavior. Find an adult mentally and physically.

    Good luck to you.

  • shes guilty and wants a reason to make her stop talking to you because she is in a relationship and I'm sure she wants to be faithful to her boyfriend but probably can't because of how much you are involved in the picture.

    If she didn't care about her boyfriend she would've left him by now.

    Shes just confused that's all.

    Give her some time and if she really wants to be with you, let her know she has to brake up with her boyfriend first. Otherwise it would be like having her cake and eating it too.

    If you don't want any commitment with her than get out of her sexual life and let her flirt with as many married cops as she wants because you really don't have a say in that situation. seeing as how you're doing the same thing she would've done if what your friend said was true.


What Guys Said 2

  • I'm thinking with a girl like this, you gotta stand up for yourself and call her on the BS. Having the Boyfriend and you is having her cake and eating it too, and if she doesn't have to choose, she won't. So, all in all, I think you did the right thing. If she comes back to you, make her earn it and absolutely make her break up with the Boyfriend before you get involved again. Make her commit to you - if she won't, then you know she's just playing games.

    And this is why guys hate the games girls play.

  • Sounds like a girl that tries to manipulate everyone around her and she doesn't like it when you're getting the 'truth' from someone else. I don't think you were wrong. She certainly doesn't sound like the type to be guilty.