Hanging out with his ex girlfriend?

I found out via facebook pics that my boyfriend still hangs out with his ex on a trip to see his grandparents she joined him and she is really good friends with his family as she was his Girlfriend for 4 years. They joke on his facebook and she comments on it all the time. He has broken up with her because he caught her cheating on him with his best friend, but he has forgiven them both. My boyfriend told me that he has no contact with her and I was informed that he went on the trip alone. I have been with him for 7 months and we both truly love each other and he has cried many times when we argued. I have still not talked to him about the pics of the trip that I saw, and I am guessing he is not telling me to avoid an argument. I was thinking of contacting him tomorrow and asking him to explain in a nice way and not getting worked up about it. Is it normal for guys to go on trips with their ex and not have feelings there? Is it possible they are just friends and he is not telling me to not hurt me or complicate things? I need your input and especially from guys. thanks :)

  • They are just friends, and she is friends with his grandparents its normal after 4 year she's like a family member
    14% (1)0% (0)14% (1)Vote
  • He is probably still has feelings for her, or in a relationship with her
    43% (3)0% (0)43% (3)Vote
  • He is in a sexual relationship with her and wants her to feel special
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • He loves both of you and cannot decide between you
    43% (3)0% (0)43% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
3|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's hard to forget about someone you spent years with and bonded with. On that note, don't just assume the worst but just proceed with caution. Don't worry about the things he is doing. Worry about what this can do to you(at the end of the day, you are all that matters). Stay focused on your relationship with him instead of "their relationship". Be the best girlfriend a man can have, so he won't want to wonder about the ex or even cheat. Appreciate him and show him why he is with you and not her. This way he won't have to choose between the two of you. You make it clear to him that you are the better choice with your actions, instead of your words.

    3|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • I don't know the crying during arguments and blatant lying, that's kinda of a red flag for me. How mature is he if he is not honest with you (and don't lie to yourself "hanging" with an ex and not telling is a biggy)? I think "proceed with caution" is good medicine, with 7 months under your belt you ain't that invested yet either. Is it possible he's just friends with her, sure, is it really likely? No, If he's weak willed enough to not be honest and cry during fights, he's weak enough to go back to a gal that cheated on him.

    2|0
    0|0
  • f*** this guy he's a bitch why would you date a bitch

    2|1
    0|0
  • hey, I bliv 1 thing: if you love somthin, set it free

    u can't force som1 2 stay wth u. if he's yours, he'l stay

    u re in dt relationship 2 enjoy and xpress yourself and filin like dis doesn't xactly help with dat

    tel him and c if wt he says.

    rem: he'll stay if he's yours

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think this whole issue is normal because of Facebook.There nothing I can say to help you with this problem but to just forget it happen.

    Link to my Blog link

    0|0
    1|0
  • I think this whole issue is normal because of Facebook.There nothing I can say to help you with this problem but to just forget it happen.

    Link to my Blog link

    0|1
    1|0
  • I say it's not really normal to go on trips when its just one guy and one girl, as guy - girl friendships can be .. difficult in my experience. I would also say yeah he probably just doesn't want to hurt you. I would say he's going to cheat on you though, since he's actually upset when you guys argue it's a sign he does care I would assume.

    I like that strategy though, calmly approach him and tell him you saw the pictures and just want him to know that he can tell you things like that. Idk.

    But hey, I'm eating waffles.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • There are some isolated instances where exes can be friends. It isn't something that everyone can do after a break up. Perhaps he was afraid to tell you so you wouldn't feel threatened by her or assume he was cheating. In addition, maybe he was concerned you'd feel insecure and an argument would ensue. I know this doesn't excuse his behavior or keeping it from you, but I am trying to think of reasons why he might have done it.

    He might be mature enough to handle something platonic only with her. However, since she betrayed him and cheated, I highly doubt he would go back to her. The trust is gone and he will forever see her in a different light.

    Talk to him calmly and give him a chance to explain. Hear him out and then decide what you are going to do, if anything.

    Good luck.

    3|1
    0|0
    • Thanks Green, advice taken :)

    • Yah it's definitely hard to have a platonic with an ex. but after 4 years that person would be hard to just eliminate from his life.

  • He might have not told you - because he thought you would react badly (when he might just be hanging out as friends with her).

    By the sounds of things (to me) - sounds like she sort of likes him still, as she always comments on his page etc. Who know's ? He could still like her too a little bit?

    if you chose not to say anything...it could be good - just observe and check up on everything before exploding at him.?

    Or just ask him, why he didn't tell you for? You guys have been together for 7months, that's a long time to still be keeping secrets like this...?

    Hope it goes good for you..xox

    2|0
    0|0
  • Hmm, I feel at some point that it isn't healthy to stay friends with an ex. I wouldn't tolerate my guy going on a trip with an ex AND lying to me about it - you deserve better. I would give him a chance to explain, but I would also think very seriously about breaking up with him.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...