For some years now I've been pushing myself to get over a lot of the things that have been holding me back in life. I've quit smoking, I've lost a bunch of weight (about 100 lbs), I'm back in school, and things are better than ever. But now I'm looking at conquering the biggest hurdle standing in my way of being able to fully integrate myself into society and get into things like dating, and that's a rather severe case of Asperger's.
There have been numerous questions posted on this topic already but they were all posted by whiners looking for a pity party rather than genuinely seeking advice, and the answers they got reflect that. I'm not looking for pity and I'm trying not to come across as a whiner, I'm just seeking advice on how to conquer what I think might be the last (and biggest) thing in my way of being able to fully integrate myself and enjoy a normal life.
For those of you who don't know what Asperger's is, please Google it. I'm not going to explain what it is here. Wikipedia has a great article on it at link
I'm looking for tips on how I can get over (or at least work around) the socially inept awkwardness and almost total lack of empathy that comes with being an Aspie so that I can enter the dating arena. I've tried approaching women in the past but it seems that it's just not possible for me to do it without coming off as seeming creepy due to the awkwardness of it all, and how I can try to be more successful there. The fact that I'm almost 30 with very limited experience involving women certainly doesn't help.
Any tips would be appreciated! Thanks!
Oh and those of you who know (or suspect) who I am, please keep it to yourselves. I posted this as anonymous for a reason :) Thank you.
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, I would like to start by saying that I hope my advice helps you and that I'm sorry you had to be one of the people diagnosed with Asperger's.
Regardless, I believe that you can lead a happy life and even get into dating. At first, you might like to talk to women that are the friends of your friend or even a mutual friend. Online dating is really big in this generation so you might want to try that too.
When you're on your date, you should learn how to let the woman talk about herself so you'll get to know her. Try to recognize at what facial cues or stories to react to in the proper way. You should also decide if this is a woman that you would want to see again. Maybe on the first date you could tell her that you have a disorder but don't make it sound so serious. Try to be warm when you're talking to her. Also, you can practice some topics to talk about before the actual date. Maybe even perform the date by yourself so you are sure it goes well. Finally, when talking, you should have a friend nearby. Maybe you could learn some hand signals that your friend can perform when you are talking too loud or talking about something uninteresting.
Good luck and remember: open her car door for her, talk about her, and compliment her whenever you feel necessary.
And don't let failed dates discourage you. Any women should consider themselves lucky for a man who is trying his hardest to overcome something that prevents him from being that much social. [:
Hope I helped.
Happy dating! [:
SideNote: If anything that I mentioned about your syndrome is not correct or doesn't apply to you, I'm sorry and I hope it doesn't offend you. The things listed above were just some of the things I got from Googling it [;5