Dating vs. Relationships?

so basically after some time of putting together some facts or whatever of how girls like bad boys and how good guys are material for "settling down" (I also read an article suggesting this...), is it that bad boys behave in a way that is seen as datable but not ultimately marriage material, but good guys are seen as not datable yet somehow, serious relationship potential?

I don't really understand how that works or how that's even possible, because if you can seriously BE with someone, you should just as well be able to date them too. but is there any true to what I'm trying to say? Like are "relationships" in an entirely different league of their own compared to "dating" and in turn, good guys in an entirely different league of their own compared to bad boys?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • OK 1st, Understand this! The bad boys are Born Losers and frankly once a girls is seen with one, her prospects for the future are usually grim because a LOT of guys will no longer be attracted to her once they see her with the loser. "If that's what she's into than I'm Not interested." Yes, most women don't even realize the high price they pay for "Slumming". The other guys WILL take note and will have nothing to do with her. And a lot of them eventually do end up tying the knot with a certified a$$hole. We get what we deserve.

    2nd. The last person on this site you should listen to is cuddlycarla. Everything she says is a complete myth (it contradicts about 2 centuries worth of anthropological research). I wonder if she's really a guy hater who wants guys to do the stupidest possible thing. Cavewoman? LOL give me a fu(king break!

    3rd. There is a demographic or subgroup that has been around for centuries. This group is young men, usually quiet and usually ignored by women, well...some women...a lot of women no matter how good looking... BUT! The most intelligent and strong willed of these men often come to the conclusion that if someone is out there for them, they will find them. And, in the mean time WILL NOT spend another minute obsessing over girls. There is a lot to life other than dating/romance/love etc. etc. and this obsessing over immature little girl drama queens who adore the boy who makes them laugh is a grand waste of time, energy and emotion. THEY ARE SOOOO NOT WORTH IT!

    Here's the BAD news for women!

    4th. Please take heart in the fact that there is a growing number of these guys and joining them will grow your strength and maturity. Thank god not all women are boneheads and they WILL approach guys first. These women who have that courage also tend to be way ahead of the pack intellectually and many are not bad looking. Don't be afraid to be more of a new age guy who doesn't conform to ignorant concepts like cuddlycarla's. There is nothing wrong with showing your independence and focusing on the other aspects of life. Women will have to learn to come into the 21st century or they can settle down with the jerks.. You, on the other hand will find a completely new peace of mind by letting us women start doing some of the hard work.

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    • You are my hero! Lol, I'm 21 and a virgin and a good guy and I skipped out on all the hs girl drama. Yeah me ha ha :D I'm not settling for anything less than the girl I deserve and I will wait till I find her.

What Girls Said 4

  • It isn't a bad boys vs. good guys fight. Women will always prefer the good guy, especially in the long term. The good guy is definitely the one who is going to get the wife. I've never met anyone who thought a bad boy was worth walking down the isle with, if they intend for any sort of happy future. The reason the "bad" boy attracts some attention isn't because he is bad, women far prefer nice guys. It's that the inner cavewoman is predisposed to wanting a man who is dominant, assertive, confident, and protective. Sad to say, these are traits the bad boy has in abundance. Guys who describe themselves as 'nice' are usually describing some other quality, such as being overly passive, a doormat, fearful, unable to express their feelings and be a go-getter, etc. Therefore, they miss out and the girl ends up going with the guy who has the confidence to go up to her and state his case. It's more of a statistics thing, bad guys ask out so many more women that they are inevitably bound to score one eventually. The initial traits that attract a girl to a bad boy will eventually wear off it they realize he's truly just a jerk and that person will usually not end up with someone in a marriage situation. The bad boy has his appeal, but it's the nice guy who definitely gets snatched up pretty quickly in a marriage situation. The bad boy won't want that anyway.

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    • So there's truth to what I'm sorts asking? ...like how you bring up the "marriage situation"...

    • CuddlyCarla, you sure know what you're talking about : )

    • yes and alienate the good guys. Does anyone ever mention how much these "bad Boys" SUCK in bed. All Bravado no orgasm!

  • Guys do the same thing. They want a girl to sleep with, but want to find a virigin or a girl that hasn't been around much. It can't be both ways lol it's' a double standard and is sad but true. The funny things is guys will date and want to fool around, but as soon as you mention a relationship they freak out and act like it came outa no where.I don't understand it, but it seems to be true for my expereince at least.

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  • i'm tired of both

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  • think you're thinking about this a little too deeply. dating and relationships are not in different leagues - it's simply that girls are less likely to take bad boys seriously and some bad boys will be seen as fun for dating but not really boyfriend material (i.e. you will get hurt if you get too involved) and nicer guys will be dated by these girls in the exact same way - it's just that the girl is more likely to let herself get attached and relax into the relationship should it progress that way (whereas you might be less likely to let yourself go with a bad boy)

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    • Idk... maybe, but ya know when girls say they want a good guy to take initiative, and I've done that, and hearing that I'm an attractive guy, and while shy I constantly am trying to push beyond that and all that. it gets me wondering what the deal is. I don't seem to be doing anything wrong, simply trying to be myself. I'm not a weirdo or a nerd, or a cocky jerk but my luck with ladies is very limited. I don't get it anymore.

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    • More at stake and take the situation little more seriously then the bad boy would. but the dating itself - is treated exactly the same by the girl - like I said its just that she will let herself go a little more with the nice guy because there's less chance she will get trod on

    • I'm guilty of that, liking a girl a lot before making the move, and I take relationships seriously to begin with and I won't ever use a girl or anything. I want to try to make it work out, and I'm def more choosy. So I mean while I haven't shown interest in many girls, I've been led on, and one case, outright insulted by a girl... wasn't expecting that one. I don't get it. for being selfless and brave and considerate, and honest and upfront... I just try to do the best I can for someone.

What Guys Said 3

  • "Good guys" are predictable and stable, which makes them good husbands and fathers. "Bad boys" are unpredictable and unstable. They're a lot more "fun" and willing to take risks, which makes a girl's sexual attraction to them shoot through the roof.

    It's best to be neither of the above, but to be a "confident and fun" guy. "Good guys" are boring and "bad boys" are jerks who refuse to come to terms with reality. But if you're the "confident and fun" guy, you're both short- and long-term material--you get to choose the type of relationships YOU want with women.

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    • I do my best to be that way... yet I have no girls that seem to even notice me or care. I'm a decent looking guy, I think above average at least, just not obnoxious, loud, or party material. I'd still think I'd get more female attention than what I currently get. just like a sign that I knew a girl was interested would be nice, and maybe I'd actually make a move. (that is... if I liked her too, which I don't really see many girls that catch my attention anyway...)

      idk :(

    • I understand your frustration. I'm not obnoxious, loud or a party guy either, and most likely I never will be. I too feel lonely and invisible to girls a lot of the time. But I think what you and I need to work on is the "confidence" part. You don't have to be an obnoxious douchebag to approach a girl you find attractive BEFORE you see any signs of interest. That is of course, easier said than done. But if you remember that girls are just human like you, it helps.

    • Read this: http://approachanxiety.com/2007/04/what-do-you-say-after-hi/

      Actually, I highly recommend you browse around that whole site. It's very helpful to guys in our position.

  • insecure girls like bad boys.. women like mature men who don't hurt them. I used to play the bad boy role when I was younger until I realized the girls I was attracting weren't the girls I wanted for the long term. now I'm humble, goofy at times and playful and nice and I attract a whole different type of girl.

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  • Lucius, If only more women had your common sense. We pout over girls who won't pay attention to us and burn up our energy on women who are clearly not worth it. I say let women have their bad boys and loud mouth jerks. I couldn't be bothered

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