Are women or men more cowardly then ever before?

[Anonymous]

I was just thinking about this...

I can see why women would think that men have become more cowardly, because so many men today are spineless -- just want sex, don't want to risk a relationship, don't want to bother asking a girl out, etc.

But I also see women being a lot more cowardly than ever before. I give an analogy to dancing...

In dancing, the man commonly takes the lead but the woman also actively follows. She's not passive. She anticipates what comes next, so she is ready. For dancing to work, both people have to take it seriously.

But today, when it comes to dating, flirting and relationships, women understand that men are supposed to take the lead. But what they don't understand is that they also have an important role...

They think that it's OK to just stand in the background, and let the man dance by himself...like he's putting on a show for them. They think that it's enough to just stand still and occasionally clap to give encouragement or look the other way to show boredom, but not really participate.

So who is has become worse...men or women?

Men have become worse cowards

Women have become worse cowards

Updates

+1 y

A lot of good thoughtful answers. Thanks!

[Killfest400]

I think it's a vicious cycle of both.

It used to be that women had to always be on the lookout for a good man, because she was basically expected to marry a guy that would make a good husband/father. Her place was at home, rearing children and cooking meals. With the advent of women's independence, that isn't the case anymore. Women don't have to look for guys with a bright future, nor do they have to spend their time raising children. The women's deviation from their former role has left men in a confused and emasculated position. In addition, the fact that women don't have to rely on a man has led to unbelievably high standards. He has to be a bad boy with a soft side (for her, obviously), able to read minds, 6'1-6'3, dark, handsome, good enough in bed to make her come 20 times before he finishes, musically inclined, intelligent, rich, successful, extremely confident, etc.

In turn, some men have adapted to take advantage of the "modern" woman. She's not looking for a guy to marry, just a guy to "have fun with" or "hitting up the club/bar for free drinks". Some men have taken advantage of this, which is what things like PUA directly feeds off of. These women don't want a gentleman; they'd rather have a super hot, wild, unattainable guy to fit in with their lifestyle. The guys who haven't adapted, who are still the "good husband" type, often find that their skills and mindset are completely worthless in the face of most modern women. Either they wait around being perplexed (AKA cowardly/wussy, according to consensus), get lucky and find an actual lady to date, or change into the asshole that gets substantially more response from modern dating.

In turn, women are affected by the new age of men, again. The asshole guys are the most prominent in the dating scene, so all the advice girls are raised with immediately assumes that all the guys out there are either assholes just looking to get laid or the losers who want to be that asshole. Women are taught to do stuff like play hard to get, be cold, mysterious, non-committed, and overall just flat out trashy. How do you expect to find a guy that will be a gentleman if you already assume he isn't one?

The good girls who actually want a relationship are left hating men because they end up dating several assholes before finding someone good, and they project their bitterness onto men as a whole. In turn, men take the approach of doing what's been projected onto them, because anything else is seen as "not being a real man." It's not so much an issue of cowardice, but more of an issue of not adapting to modern dating rituals.

[Anonymous]

I'm blaming the media & evolution of technology for this.

People are losing communication skills because there's less communication due to other means of entertainment, look at the amount of conversation that's being had now in comparison to lets say 50 years ago. Yes we've got more ways of communication yet its not being utilised as much as it could been because of various reasons included but not limited to: finances, family's not living a block away from each other anymore but several miles, other forms of keeping oneself busy, family's not being as tight as they used to be and so on.

Personally, I'm curious what would happen if men wouldn't take any initiative anymore when it comes to approaching a girl they think is cute. Would women start approaching more or would our race simply risk ceasing to exist?

Guys still have the fear of rejection pre programmed from the stone age where rejection could mean death or separation from the group which in most cases would lead to death as well, the reality is that guys still get to feel humiliated at the very least for being rejected. Where as women don't need to depend on a man anymore for survival and are perfectly capable(however not ideal) to be by themselves, not having to rely on a guy to keep them alive.

Lets not forget the media ruining the average persons self image by placing only the good looking people in TV shows and movies which makes a person wonder if they are even good looking and capable of finding a girlfriend/boyfriend, even if they are at least decent looking. It didn't exist 50 years ago either and sadly, we live in this part of time where its simply hard to feel good about yourself while having to compare yourself to supermodels and quite frankly better looking people then yourself for the most people.

Women quite simply put, have unrealistically high expectations in terms of a "good boyfriend" that most guys simply don't add up to because the media has created the "perfect boyfriend that has looks,money,smarts, is funny, ...).Men on the other hand have unrealistically high expectations in terms of a girls looks, both sides are getting f***ed over here. What's easier to do here, alter your personality or alter your looks? Yea that's what I thought, short terms changing your personality is quite easy, but eventually guys will be fed up with it, show more of themselves and less of this "perfect boyfriend" and relationships/marriages start going down.

I'd say men have it worse, women have become worse because of what our civilisation is becomming.

[Anonymous]

BOTH are more apprehensive in general because break-ups, game playing, identity theft, etc. are all way too rampant nowadays. It's become TOO easy to cheat, stray, and hurt each other in general.

On top of it, men who are really just trying to be sensitive to the whirlpool of expectations brought on by conflicting feminist views and relationship advisement often become awkward in the dating arena because they're not sure what moves to make, what words to say, to convey INTEREST without getting shot down and rejected. The real ALPHA males and players tend to work past this confusion and just jump into the game, which wreaks havoc on the playing field for those guys who are just honest and nice.

Enter the female counterparts, who can range from the most elitist snobs to the very..."easy" girls. In between is the majority -- hard working, honest girls who don't get the chance to find Mr. Right because they are basically doormats to the players and b*tchy alpha males/females. They're looking -- often too idealistically -- for the knight in shining armor who will save them from themselves (and their tendency to let others place them in "doormat" status). The fate of these women in any relationship is always precarious because they can end up "discovering" themselves and break the relationship off in search of something they feel they deserve...

Sigh.

[beans]

I think everyone just became more cowardly in general. The values/featues we held that represented bravery have long dissappeared from our society, both the characteristics in men and women that would imply such behaviour. Because everyone is so 'independent', 'cautious' and 'minds their own business', people just do not give a sh*t about each other anymore. Everyone just wants to sit there, watch their lives go by as they don't put any effort into anything. And it is all supposed to work out. Because we're all entitled to everything we get. Bullsh*t. All we're entitled to is breathing and water.

We don't trust strangers anymore, heck we don't trust anyone anymore! Every man is a rapist and every woman is a goldigger, unless they act PASSIVELY. Because God forbid, you do something or take the initative, then you are an exhibitionist, a whore, agressive, dangerous, nosy, etc. The only thing you don't get judged by is if you do f*** all, sit there and shut the hell up. No wonder nobody does anything interesting anymore.

[Brando]

My thoughts exactly. Just like the different perceptions of beauty are pushed on people by media, attitudes have been pushed as well. Everyone still has that post-9/11 emotional wall built up where strangers mean absolutely nothing until they prove themselves. Which is hard because the stranger in question also feels cynical.

[Simulacrum]

I agree. I have noticed that many of my friends tend to expect men to organise the relationships and carry out all the courtship. The seem to believe that once they are impressed they will suddenly slot in to the prepared relationships. But on the other hand I believe that guys are a lot more sleezy these days and are not prepared to try to conduct a proper relationship with a girl.

Unfortunately it seems girls are no longer as lady-like and men are not as gentleman-like, I would like such things to change, but somehow I think we are increasingly becoming a vulgar society.

[Meedo]

Awesome answer!

[Asker]

Agreed!

[Simulacrum]

Thankyou.

[naturally]

Definitely men,

Now the barriers have comedown and lines are being crossed. Men have become more feminine, with our gays and metrosexuals.

Females have become more independant and leaders.

Although in support to your theory, we like to believe that chivalry is not dead. Therefore we still expect you to be the 'man' pull out our chair etc

[Simulacrum]

I also think chilvary is nice, but the way I see many girls behaving these days, I would not pull out chairs and open doors for them, if I was a guy.

[naturally]

Yes well you gotta pick the right girls. Too many are slutty, trashy, drunken chicks that are going nowhere in life. But few are driven, classy, respectful and sophisticated, and those girls will be looking for decent men that will pull out their chairs for them

[Brando]

Simulacrum hit the nail on the head. Between girls guarding their independence and acting like complete snobs sometimes, chivalry is dying or is already dead. There are classy girls, but after you've seen so many bitchy girls, you tend to have your mindset changed and become guarded yourself, which is why many guys don't bother going out on a limb to approach a girl they don't know. "She doesn't know you so it won't hurt if she rejects you." Same is true if you don't approach her, doesn't matter

[Asker]

If today's girls are more independent, why do they seem to have lower self-esteem?

I think women are looking more for approval from both men and each other than they did 10 years ago, and certainly more than in our parents' era. They want more than chivalry. They expect men to give them the confidence they lack.

[naturally]

You're right, a lot of girls do approval from men, others seek acceptance. They are two very different things, you just need to distinguish what each girl is looking for

[BlackSuperman]

it's called a feminized democracy.. radical feminism is what started it... political correctness, unfair parental rights, divorce courts, the perception that men are idiots... plus 4 generations of young men who are raised by women, last time I checked, a woman can never raise a boy to be a man. All these things have a hand in it...

[-StillWater-]

I think it seems so (men and women) just because we care more than ever before (I believe each generation posed this question)...

[frustratedchump06]

I don't know if it is just a matter of being scared, it could just be tired of having to do all that work all the time, and it could be technology, evolution

[brunettebelle]

Men because now that women have equal rights and we can kick ass. Men are still tough but women are still becoming more strong.

[Anonymous]

As feminism has evolved, women have become stronger & stronger. But the opposite has occured for men, they seem to have become weaker & weaker. There are many reasons for this, but I'm not going to go into all of that.

[Asker]

I disagree about feminism having evolved. I think it's regressed. With today's feminism, women want to be treated special, not equal. In the old days, men were happy to impress women, but women didn't demand that. During feminism, women were told they are equal to men, but they have never wanted to be treated equal. Instead, they used that as an excuse to demand that men put them on a pedestal. Now, men find women to be unreasonable and ungrateful, and care less about impressing them.

[OceanLover]

men have. definitely.

[Anonymous]

I’ll ans honestly in short, men hands down!