My boyfriend is quiet around the guys, but is with them daily?

i hang out with him and them occasionally I think his friends are losers and boring so I don't really go around them much - he is kind of quiet around them as soon as we get in my car or we get alone he is chatty Cathy - he talks about anything and everything with me - important stuff about his family, his sons, himself and his personal problems, he talks a lot about his feelings for me, he gives me a lot of compliments also especially when we make love. Then we get outside again with friends and he almost acts like he does not like me but constantly stares at me and or watches me from a distance but won't come sit with me or stand with me and gets mad/jealous when I have conversation with other guys that DO stand and talk versus him always feeling like he has to be solely with the guys... When we make love and we BOTH feel how GREAT it is and our connection and he will say what are you doing to me - and I feel like saying though you don't want to admit it its called BEING IN LOVE... but since that word is so hard for him I say nothing. He is very attentive and very loving. But we make love once a week now a days and we have been together for a 1yr. I choose not to hang out with his friends that often because they are jealous of us and I have a good job and a condo - he is a single dad and does not have much - which he seems to resent me somewhat for this or he just feels less than - BUT he is a great home maker and a great father also a great lover and or boyfriend I think he is worthy of ME because he treats me like a goddess- but I noticed that he has this inferiority complex - he calls me a high society chick - he came from poverty and I did not - he still does not have much at all - and I do -- and I have been with rich guys and he does not have much but he is rich in character and he makes me feel like a princess when ever I am around him - but for some reason he thinks I cheat on him - or he asks that when we make love .. I used to yell and put him down a lot in the beginning then I realized he already has self esteem issues - how can I build him up? How can I get him to want to spend MORE time with me. Asking him does not work. I think we have a great relationship as we had been good friends for 12-14 years prior to us getting together. he is a single dad and does not have much so I would never date him in the past - BUT he is so nice to me such the perfect gentleman that I finally gave him a chance and he tells me had I gotten with him before he would have never gotten married to anyone else and he has been divorced and really hurt by that even though the woman turned out to be gay - but she did cheat on him he was devastated - then he worked hard NOW he hardly works like he is broken but I still love him how can I motivate him and make him feel good about himself.. Also, does he sound like he really loves me and we have a good foundation?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, sounds like you and your guy have a special bond between you. You are both quite lucky I would say...I have 3 brothers and I have watched them around the guys and found they will stay quiet rather than get ribbed by the others... You know guys, mostly talk anyway, but if they can embarrass each other and feel cool doing it, they will. So I see your boyfriends point of view, to an extent anyway...What I don't like is that, if he chooses to be stand offish in public well ok...that's how he chooses to be, but to get jealous because you're not stand offish with others is unreasonable! Also, he doesn't think you cheat on him, though he may have past experiences that make him touchy about it, the insecurities are within him...I like you have dated men with varied financial status' and I would take a guy like yours over a million bucks any day! I also am successful and men with less seem to be intimidated by that...That's just society crap though... We have all had "experiences" to run the gamut and we just have to stand up, shake it off, learn from it and see what happens next... I don't think I'd nurture his lack of motivation, it's not healthy to sit in your own self pity for to long, but he sure seems like he's a person worth seeing what happens...

    Best of luck...Cheers!

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