Should I have one last fling?

So, I'm engaged to a wonderful man, we're getting married in April of next year. We recently went to a friend of mines wedding and his best man is my ex, let me add that we were each others firsts for everything and we were together for about 4 years. My ex and I last slept together in 2007. Well, he's been texting me and emailing me asking to hang out and pretty much told me that he wants me. He doesn't have a girlfriend, and he knows I'm engaged and all that. I'm just wondering if maybe I should have one last fling with him. I don't want to hurt my fiance, I love him very much, but I don't want to regret not doing it, because frankly it's the best sex I've ever had. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with my fiance, but I'd rather sleep with my ex before we are actually married, if that makes any sense. I'm not a bad person, I've never cheated before and I'm just wondering what other peoples thoughts are. And why would he be doing this now? why not before when I was single...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I may not answer your question with a yes or no, but if you're asking yourself if you should have sex with someone else before getting married then I'd say go have sex with your ex only after you break up with your soon to be husband. What do you do when he finds out (always a possiblity) that you slept with your ex just before marrying him. Look this actually happened to me something very smiliar. She slept with a guy at work just a month before we married. I found out four days after getting married. From my thought process our marriage was an entire lie and I truly felt that I was tricked into being with her. Mainly because had I known what she'd done I would not have married her. It turned into a disaster. There was truly no trust at all and I fell out of love quickly. Mainly because I didn't feel that someone who cared about me as she said she did would have done that behind my back. I'd passed on many chances to be with other women until then. From that point...never again will I be put into a position of being hurt or lied to again. So your choices will effect others lives greatly...everyone involved will have that affair be it they're there with you or not. Do yourself and him a favor and do not marry him. He'll only be hurt by your insecure choices.


What Guys Said 8

  • If you have to ask yourself that question you really shouldn't be getting married.

  • He probably wants to secretly video tape the two of you having sex and send the tape to your fiance and prove that your an unfaithful woman. No you shouldn't have sex with him. Instead tell your guy if he would be interested in the cuckolding lifestyle. He might like that. If not then, don't get married. If the sex is as good as you say it is, then I'm sure that once your married you'll have a difficult time of staying faithful to your husband and will try sneaking out of the house or making up excuses to go out just to have sex with your ex. Then your husband will find out you cheated and probably will never trust a woman again or he might try to beat you up.

  • Avoid this like the plague. You say you don't want to hurt your fiance, but cheating will do just that. I'm not going to give you the "if you are thinking of cheating, you shouldn't me getting married" spiel, but trying to get the best of both worlds is going to hurt your fiance very deeply, it will hurt you just as bad knowing that its your fault, and the ex will get sex and maybe have to put up with a little drama. The whole situation just isn't worth it, especially when you are with someone that you've already made up your mind that you want to marry. How much does he really mean to you? Say it out loud what you are considering: You are considering cheating on your fiance for sex.

  • Let me get this straight... You're engaged and you're thinking of jumping another man's bones? No. A million times no. Let your fiancé free so he can marry someone a lot better than you. Please.

  • My honest opinion is that you ought to rethink whether marrying your fiancé is even the choice you want to make. If you are drawn to this ex-lover while engaged to another man, you should reconsider where your priorities are. Ex or fiancé? It can't be with both.

  • Since everyone is answering one way...I'll play devil's advocate:

    You are running out of time to enjoy yourself this way -- go for it...

  • I say you leave the guy so he can find someone better.


What Girls Said 7

  • wow. honestly, no you should not.

    But also honestly, you should really not marry someone you are ALREADY thinking about cheating on before you're even married!

    This idea of "one last time before I stay faithful" is like "just one last cookie before I diet" or "just one last potato chip". In other words - yeah right! That's not how it works.

    The fact that you think the best sex was with your ex and that you're talking to him when he says he wants you and actually considering cheating on your fiancee is a BIG red flag about how you really feel about your fiancee.

    How would you feel if your fiancee slept with another girl? If you don't care, then that says even more about how you really feel about marrying this man.

    Marriage is really hard work, not a fling. And divorce is a messy pain in the ass, so please think really hard about all of this.

  • Girl if you have a fling you might as well kiss your marriage GOODBYE.. Seriously wtf are you thinking..Okay okay sorry for being so up front and bold but seriously. you can not have that much love for your guy if you really want to have a fling.. Give back the ring and go have your fling.. Why would you be so selfish to this great guy who proposed to you,... NO don't have a fling and if you do just give back the ring that is no way to start a marriage. Then later down the road you feel guilty and tell your man what then.. If you really want the fling talk to your guy and tell him you want to do this see what he say's I would be surprised if he didn't ask for the ring back right then and there.. Don't hurt this good guy your are with for a guy you were once with. Reason he wants you know cause you are taken and he wants to push the button to see how faithfull you are to your current guy..

    Good Luck. I do wish you the best and hope you make the right choice. you should also stop talking to this guy you want to have a fling with cause it will hurt you or your fiance.

  • so you are thinking of cheating on your fiance because you had great sex with your ex!? So is that all your fiance is? just your newer sex toy? But you'd rather play with the old one. wow. how would you feel if he did that to you?

  • if I were you I would not get married and I would do as you please. If you honestly think you want to do this then your fiance does not deserve to be in this relationship. he can find someone so much better than someone who is thinking about cheating.

  • I feel the bigger question is whether you really want to get married and if you love your fiancé. I have been down that road with my ex and I always figured cause we had a past I wasn't wrong, but it was he never really wanted me back, but he always acted interested and did whatever to get me to hangout, I realized fast that he didn't really want me back it was the fact he didn't want me with anyone else and that he would do whatever he wants. You and your ex could be completely different but he is an ex for a reason and you found someone that really cares for you enough to take the biggest step of all. So the choice is up to you but if you decide to have a fling maybe you shouldn't be getting married and if you find that you love your fiancé than do right by your relationship and be faithful cause you may lose him if you don't.

  • Let your fiance go. I would be devastated if the person I was going to marry was thinking about sleeping with someone else. Would you like it if your fiance slept with an ex?!

  • I think you should do it with your ex. I can tell you are a good girl and the reality of the situation is most likely that you and your ex have great sex but he isn't marriage material. If he is your friend and can keep a secret. If he is your mans friend too than DONT do it! Who knows what can happen down the road and I know from experience that guys will tell each other these things if they are close friends. ... the choice is ultimately yours and you are going to do what you want.