Online dating and proving the truth?

What's the best way for me to prove that I'm really actually a nice guy to a girl on an online dating site?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Attracting a beautiful woman is NOT about "proving" anything.

    The last thing you want to do is have that mindset. It puts you into a role where you're always fighting for approval and she's always giving it... if you meet her standards, requirements, or requests.

    Don't do this.

    First - women don't want a "nice guy" who's trying to prove himself. They want am honest guy with his own thoughts and feelings, his own motivations and passions... even if they're different from hers.

    If you're a nice guy it'll naturally come through in your converstation. If your an asshole that'll also come through. If you're not sure which one you are then you're likely a nice guy.

    The problem with "nice guys" is that they tend to be spineless. They tend to be "nice" in order to gain her attention and approval.. and women don't want this trade off. They want you to be who you are, even if they don't like it.

    It's very attractive to meet a guy who's honest about being an asshole. But, ultimately, women will avoid you if you're all about yourself.

    Second - be honest and sincere. If you're dating online because you just want to hook up, be honest about it. It'll filter out the girls who don't want that.

    If you're dating online to meet super cute girls who are fun to hang out with, then say that.

    Third - being attractive online requires that you have standards she has to meet... not the other way around. It's not your job to meet her requirements... she'll figure that out for herself... not you. Your job is to make sure she measures up to yours. So always have that mindset... "is she fun enough? Is she cute enough?"

    Be the chooser. Not the other way around. And women will automatically start interacting with you VERY differently. When you're acting like the chooser (like you're a super model who's deciding who to pick) she'll automatically feel like you have more value then other guys.

    I'm not saying you should be a d***, just be picky. Think like a beautiful woman - be picky. Embrace your own value and own it.

    And women will respond.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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What Girls Said 5

  • well,i guess just prove to her that your serious... I experienced that thing already he said his totally different from other guy and won't fool me blah blah blah but when I accpet him as my boyfriend it seems I can't feel that he's my bf.Its hard to trust and fooled around but all I can say just be honest,send some letters/cards to her its the effort that counts,treat her well,make her happy all the time,even if your tired at work or busy always lend some time to her even if 1hour only and do the vdeochat,let her introduce to your friends or fam and never deny her that's the only thing you can do to make her realize that your a nice guy.Goodluck

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  • ...There is not. She may always be suspicious if she keeps her feet on the ground.The majority of people on online dating sites are dangerous and they secretly expect other "stuff" .They act innocent and seem trustworthy and compassionate but in real they are jerks who take advantage of naive people.So her reaction is justified.Anyway, I always think it's better to get to know the other person in real and not by logging in pointless chatrooms.

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  • talking too me lol jk I wished guys new I was a nice girl and not judge me the mistake Guys do is tell a girl they are talking too the he is talking too like 3 other girls realky lol why can't men talk too one

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  • by acting like a nice guy on the site

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  • only way is to meet up

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What Guys Said 6

  • This can be quite a tricky one.

    IMHO, I think that people think that online dating is so dangerous because of the press on it. I'm pretty sure that hundreds of people who met online meet in person every week, without anything "dangerous" happening. I'm pretty sure it's more dangerous for a girl if she meets a guy in a nightclub. But funnily enough, they don't tend to get such bad press... I digress... This actually doesn't answer your question. But I think that it's important for you to know why many girls are so cautious. It's good to be cautious, but sometimes we have to take risks.

    Anyway... In answer to your question... Make sure that the first message that you send a girl, is warm and friendly, yet playful. Have an interesting subject line.

    Many of the girls I know have inboxes full of "Hey Babe", and "Hi" subject lines - And they will often delete those messages without even opening them.

    This brings me to my next point... Avoid words such as "babe", "sexy" or any of that silly stuff. Girls don't tend to like it from guys they don't know, and they can be quite derogatory and patronising. "I like your pics" may give her a nice ego boost, but it won't help your cause. Also... Many of the guys who say that don't even look at her pics.

    When I say "warm and friendly", I don't mean creepy. Phrases such as "I would like to get to know you" can be quite creepy, and creepy is the best way to get yourself avoided.

    Have a fun and upbeat conversation. Be silly. In person, you use your body language to make sure things are interpreted in the right way. And although many people may disagree with me here, emoticons and smileys are the internet's equivalent to body language. I often call them "softeners", because they soften what you say. I include "lol" in these softeners.

    For example... "You're such a clown" sounds insulting, but "You're such a clown =P" has a softener to show that you're joking, and it should be taken as a playful comment rather than an insult.

    A word of warning - Many girls don't like when you right in "txt spk" or "l33t" or any kind of short hand because it seems lazy and immature. Some girls think the same thing about softeners... But not many.

    To recap:

    - Use an interesting subject header with at least about 4 words.

    - Be fun and playful

    - Use softeners

    - Be warm and friendly - Not creepy

    - Don't ask to meet her. Speak to her for a while (at least a few days) before even mentioning it because that can be creepy.

    - Take your time to write messages and be genuine in what you say.

    SmiffyJay

    my blog ( link )

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  • Just be yourself. No reason to make an effort to prove. If people or someone can't tell you're real, then they really aren't worth your time. Of course, people have to be safe. But that doesn't mean they can't give you the benefit of the doubt.

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  • I don't think there's really much you can do other than talk to a person and let them get to know you. It's hard to tell these kinds of things even in person, so if all they have to go by is a picture and a description, then they will need to talk to you to really see what you are like.

    Also, be careful with what you consider being a "nice guy". Being a pushover or trying to seek other people's approval won't get you very far at all.

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  • well... meet in person and show her... majority of people, whether on online dating sites or in real life... are scary as hell, often willing to trash anything if it doesn't meet some preconceived standards (usually made up and will keep them locked down in life).. That's what I see when I used to be on dating sites- women and men scared to death that someone could be a stalker- hell, stalkers strike in real life. People just need to wake up and realize they are wasting their best years fearing things that only exist in their minds.

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  • The more you communicate with her, the more she will get a sense of the type of person you are.

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  • Fail! I have no idea, but I DO know you're asking the wrong question. Don't lead with "I'm nice." Lead with "I'm attractive and fun." That's how you get a date and a second date. Demonstrate nice later.

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