Just wondering what the general consensus is on when is too soon to introduce a new boyfriend to your child? or vice versa Do you think there is a right or a wrong time?
The guy I'm dating has no issues with me being a single parent, it's more the effect on my son that worries me. If he gets attached and it doesn't work out I worry it will have a bad effect on my son. Any opinions/advice would be greatly appreciated :)
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not a single parent, but I am a child of divorce, so I can see it more from your son's point of view. Pros and cons:
Introducing him early :: you won't be so attached to your new man that it hurts too much to let him go if your son can't accept him. In the end, your responsibility as a mother is to your son, and though I don't doubt you know that, that doesn't necessarily make it any easier if the two of them don't get on and you have to break up with your man. It might also make it easier for your son to accept - if you suddenly sprung it on him that you were marrying this guy, he might feel too shocked and left out to be able to accept it properly, or for a while. But when you're just dating him, it's easier - your son knows that as he is evaluating the new guy, so are you, so you're in the same boat and he knows you're still on his side and aren't going to abandon him or anything.
Introducing him later :: you've known him long enough to know that he's a decent enough guy to be around your son and possibly be a father figure. If he's old enough to understand it all, he may be more trusting of 'letting you go off with a man' you've got to know, than a complete stranger. Kids can be just as protective of their parents when it comes to dating =P If your son doesn't like it at first and wants to know why you're with him, you can state your reasons with confidence, knowing that you actually believe what you're saying. This might bring him over to your point of view a bit more. He also may not like the idea of his mother 'dating' as much as actually getting married - we tend to see family members as doing official things but not casual things. Perhaps a long-term relationship is more 'proper' to him.
But it all depends on how old he is, what he's like with girls, where the father is, what kind of people they all are, etc. You know them better than we do! Good luck =]2