Recently met a guy online -- we have a good connection via conversation?

and other things in common -- we were to have met the past few days but we were both working overtime so we will do it tomorrow or Saturday the meet . Last night on the phone he told me he will be buying his ex girlfriends daughter an outfit for her school homecoming - I was like well what is HER mother buying HER - and I said where is this girls REAL father? Now he was not married to the mother and not his kid - BUT was with the woman for 13 years -- to me he should severe the ties -especially if we end up in a real relationship which we both are looking for! Now I am so turned off by the fact that he feels like he should talk about those kids and pay for stuff for them,.. I told him it is like he is still half in another relationship and supposedly it has been 8 years since they were together - AND the ex has no job and I am sure she probably hits him up for $$$$... TO me this is EXTRA LAME - and I told him when I am done I am done -- I severe the ties and we can stay friends but no financial obligations - now I know men NEED TO BE NEEDED and he has no kids of his own - I even canceled possibly seeing him tonight - because now I am turned off by this -- am I being ridiculous... OR what do you think - mind you as we DATE that is one thing if we end up in a relationship - and he continues with that baggage...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he was with this woman for 13 years he may have formed a bond with her children. Because he has no ties to the woman anymore does not mean he should or even wants to cut relationships with the daughter. This is one you may have to live with.

    As for the financial ties to the mother -- if there any -- he should let that go or it will haunt him forever. Again assuming he is giving her money, then he should be able to tell her that he won't be able to give her any more money after some specified date. This is one you shouldn't live with -- especially if the relationship becomes serious.

    Remember some people are able to extricate themselves from past relationships more easily than others.

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    • So sounds like a very fair answer -- and where I was almost ready to not waste time with him because of that-your answer is fair and I will take heed and maybe once in a relationship - should that happen see- so far we have spoken everyday and the chemistry on the phone is very good - he is a lot of fun - and he is intelligent and a hard worker-plus and ex Navy guy like my father so that is a plus.Should I let him know that that is a concern of mine for if we really get serious or let him decide

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you're being unreasonable. He's throwing up a huge red flag and you're calling him on it. You're one of the few that realizes this will be something you'll have to deal with if you get involved with him. Most people like to assume the person will magically change once the relationship starts (very unlikely).

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    • Thank you that is what I thought also.

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