"We should hang out," but he has a girlfriend.

I have a friend that always wants to hang out one on one, we usually do dinner and a movie (he picks dinner, I pick the movie). The last time we were out he did say he wanted to do something else to get me out of my shell.

He suggested hiking and I was down with that, but the plans were put on hold because I thought I might be moving and told him. He seemed pretty bummed out and as I started looking for apartments in another town he stopped talking to me altogether.

Things ended up working out so I could stay where I am, but he just got a girlfriend so I was trying to keep my distance... And then I accidentally dialed his number on my new phone, argh. It only rang for a couple seconds so I ended the call, but he called back a minute later (literally) and we ended up talking. He asked when I was moving and I told him I would be around for a long time. The next thing he said was "Really? We should hang out." Double argh.

I've never figured out what hanging out is to him. I think it's casual... maybe. We have tension between us, and it's been there for a long time.

And since I don't know what's up with this hanging out deal, should I really be doing it when he has a girlfriend? I don't want to disrespect her, and I definitely don't want to be known as the girl who won't leave a taken guy alone! :/


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he could play up, or just wants some causal fun

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What Girls Said 1

  • "Hang out" is usually guy talk for "date," but if he has a girlfriend, what I get from the situation is that you guys were really good friends and he wants to continue that. I think it's a friend date. Sorry.

    However, it's all in the tone of voice. In over half of conversations over the internet, the original meaning is lost in translation because there's no tone of voice available to the recipient.

    So basically there's no way for me to know for sure.

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    • Actually, he said it on the phone.. he sounded really eager in suggesting it like he always does.

      I did tell him that I would like to wait before we hang out again because I need to sort out my feelings for him (no drama, no ultimatums, just honesty), but after a few days of ignoring me he's started talking to me again.

      He's acting like what I said about not hanging out never happened, so now I'm confused and kind of frustrated.

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