Do I have the right to be upset?

My Boyfriend has been out of town for almost a week. Last week I only got to see him for a few min before he left Fri.

We made a date for tonight before he left. He confirmed date Mon via text. Last night I text him good night see you after work tomorrow& got no answer. Sometimes he

doesn't answer when tired, but sometimes he doesn't answer when he thinks he can't keep a date too - so I wondered then.

Today, I went to work early so I could get off early ( as I usually do on days we have dates), so I could spend as much time with I'm as possible. I got of at 5:30 and texted him. No answer.10 min later I text again " I'm off work are you there love?".

He responds " I won't be home 'till 7 or 8".

I have to be home by 7:15 to take care of aging family member. He knows this.

Now I know he had to work. But wish he had let me know sometime today. That would be nice. Then part of me says "I made an effort to get off work early".

He is very bad at communication, bad about telling me things ahead of times and I know he is one of those guys who can only focus of one thing at a time.

I want to be a little annoyed at him right now - but am I wrong to feel that way?

This isn't the first time this has happened. I always let it slide and never get mad at him for missing dates.

Someone just tell me please - am I being stupid?

Updates:
I told him how I felt and at first he acted like I was being unreasonable, but I was just honest with him.

This week almost the same situation came about. Only this time he texted me to let me know he couldn't come and he would make it up to me.
Talking things out really helped. :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes you should be upset.

    It's not about him having to work or not or him being a "bad communicator".

    The fact is that he's inconsiderate of you and your time.

    It's up to you to make him see that this isn't acceptable. If he isn't willing to admit that you deserve respect, it may be time to move on to someone else.

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    • You are very right. It's not about work, it's about respect.

      I need to tell him how I feel otherwise he will continue to walk all over me and not even know it. Something has to change.

      I don't want to yell at him or anything. I will try to put it in a way that isn't saying " This & that are your fault". I just want to be respected and not taken for granted. Right now I feel pretty disrespected.

      Thanks for you help!

    • There are some great books on communication out there but you're right. Yelling is NOT good. Neither is pointing your finger at them.

      Give some thought to what you'll say, several different possible responses he would make and your reaction to each. That should help you remain calm and make some good points in the conversation.

      My gut tells me this guy will not know how to communicate or will just be a jerk. If he really doesn't know then he should be polite. If he's a jerk...he's just a jerk.

    • He won't be a jerk. If I say something - he will most likly feel bad. He just don't think some times. He figures I should just "know". Like I have some special powers or something that tells me what he is doing & thinking ( I wish I did have those power, but I don't).

      he is a good person. Kind, loyal, even sweet. But it never seems to occure to him when he is being inconciderate.

      He is kind of sencetive (gets his feeling hurt easily), so I will need to be gentle. But I need respect.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yay! :-) Thanks for the update. Sounds like things are going well for you two.

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  • Maybe it's just because I'm a girl. I don't really know. Hah.

    But I say that you have every right to be upset about it.

    You gave him your time, the least he could have done was tell you whether or not he was going to get off in time. Does he not realize that what he did was not at all convenient?

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    • Thank you!

      It was very inconvenient. And he has done this before. I've told him "If you're not sure you can come, just say so ,so have an idea. ". But whenever he's not sure he just doesn't say. I'm not suee if he hopes he can come at the last minute or what, but it is very irriatating.

      Then tonight, he could have gained a few points by texting to say sorry he couldn't come but NOTHING. Not a word.

      I just need to tell him how I feel ( I will try to be non-confrontational - just honest)

    • Exactly! He needa to keep you more updated! I wish you two luckk! :)

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