My ex and I were going out for a little over two years and for awhile it was great but earlier this year things got tough. He broke up with me in April because he said he needed to work on himself (blamed me for some stupid stuff). After a little over a month we got back together, mainly because I was always there but all summer we were really happy. He even got a job offer upstate and wanted me to come with him. Then suddenly he lost the job offer and disappeared for a week. He met me at dinner and told me he needed to figure out his life but he loved me and was sure about us. He said he needed more space, which I gave to him. A week later he basically screams at me that he doesn't love me. Meanwhile, 2 weeks before he wanted to marry me. He's 26 without a steady job and has a lot of debt, I think he just had a breakdown. I don't want to give up on him. It's been over a month and I haven't talked to him. What should I do? Do you think he will call? Was it a freak-out?
Most Helpful Girl
He sounds like an unstable person who is using you for some stability.
If he hasn't made the effort to make you a constant in his life, he is not worth your time. That in itself indicates a crapload about his intentions with you.
It's not fair for him to call you up whenever it is simply convenient for him or he is in need of an ego stroke.
You give him space and he screams at you a week later, denying his love for you? What the hell is this dude's problem?
Loves you, hates you, wants to marry you, can't even be bothered to call you? He's clearly not making up his mind any time soon, so make it up for him.
I'm sure he'll call when he gets around to it (a.k.a. is in need of some love/affection/attention). Be unavailable. He's a lost cause and is not going to change. By sticking around, you're allowing yourself to be his punching bag, at his will. It's like giving a spoiled kid even more toys when he acts out; it's a perpetuating cycle.
If he ever gets his sh*t together, maybe then he can be worth your time and efforts. Until then, work on letting it go, and perhaps even allowing yourself to think about how easy/awesome it would be to be with a dude who had his act together AND reciprocated all that you have to offer.
Best of luck!