Dating a player.. NEED ADVICE! pleasee boys :)

I've been dating (not official, but still pretty serious) this boy for about a month and a half now

Quite a few people have told me he's the player type or very well could f*** me over, but he says he really does like me and he does so many things to show me that.

Before this relationship I was in one that ended with the guy just completely randomly stop talking to me, and a friend of mine said this is what the boy I'm with now did to her and others.

I REALLY don't want this to happen to me again.. I am very fragile and emotional and would love to not get hurt by a boy again..or waste my time on an asshole like that.

I tried telling him I couldn't be with him anymore because I don't want to get hurt or cheated on while he's at school (which is 1 1/2 hour away, he visits every or every other weekend) and just the distance wasn't working for me and also that I needed all or none of him even though he Can't give me that and I know/understand that.

when I told him this he was upset; I knew because he couldn't look me in the eye and told me he was sad.. his response was that he really doesn't want to stop being with me the way we have been and that I just need to chill out about it and just have fun because he really enjoys my company when he's with me and I have so many qualities that he looks for in a girl.

but I REALLLy f***ing don't want to be used or for him to break my wittle heart :(

i would rather not get involved in someone if its just going to end how the last one did.

i know I should trust him since he's given me absolutely no reason not to..i've been introduced to his parents and all his friends and housemates as "his girl", he brings me to hangout with his friends whenever, he buys or makes me lunch breakfast dinner, buys enough weed for the both of us to enjoy, cuddles with me all the time.. basically does everything I could ever ask for plus more.

he hasn't done ANYTHING wrong which is what scares me and makes me feel like I'm being played.

players don't treat girls this well. the only one flaw with our relationship besides the distance is that he doesn't want it to be official.. yet maybe?

ughhh I don't know can anyone just tell me what the f*** is going on here


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know what...it's hard to really figure out whether you're being played or not. When you enjoy spending time with someone and they make you feel good, you just get high off the warm fuzzies. But if he has a reputation, and people know of it, most of the time, they're just trying to save you from what they've seen before. HOWEVER, just because someone has a history of being a player doesn't mean he won't ever be able to settle down. These are unfortunately all questions that you don't know the true answers to yet.

    My advice - the best thing to do is KEEP THINGS SLOW. Get to know him REALLY REALLY good for a while before you put your whole heart in. Spend as much time with him as possible (which I know is difficult because he's so far, but spend as much time together when he's in town that you can without being pushy about it, lol).

    If he's a player, eventually all those sweet things he does will go away. If he's not then he'll still stay as sweet to you as he has been. But you won't know those things without some time. In the meantime, just enjoy the butterflies in your tummy and ride the wave girl - no reason not to yet :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • A guy will work hard and try to do anything just to get a girl in bed. Even though, he bought you stuffs or do anything for you doesn't mean that he cares about you. After a guy accomplish what he wanted and that is sex, then his attitude will change in a few days. Another player alert, is that he didn't want to be official, which means he wanted to be out there prowling on the other girls that are easy. Try to hold on and drag this relationship out longer but no sex and see if his attitude towards you changes or not. Usually, a guy rather be out there getting other girls than staying in a long relationship without sex, unless he really loves you then he will stay.

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    • So what are you saying a guy would do if he cares about a girl?

    • If a guy cares about a girl, he wouldn't hurt her and thinks of whatever best for her including sex after marriage

    • A guy would do anything for a girl that he cares for. However, due to one important key here and that is, he didn't want to be official, which raised some questions of whether he might be a player. So in this case, he would do anything for you wouldn't mean that he cares for you. It might means that he just wanted to get you in bed and calls it quit after a few weeks later.

  • Players don't do the wrong thing, they do the right thing. Expect to be treated very well by a player. If you know he's a player and can be comfortable with it, enjoy the benefits. However, I don't think that's what you are looking for based on what you are saying. The biggest clue from what you've said is that he doesn't want it to be 'official'. That tells me he considers himself on the market.

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What Girls Said 0

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