Why isn't he calling/what should I do?!?

My story is long, but I will try to shorten it. This guy who some people I know claim they think he likes me, got my number off facebook (I didn't give it to him) and called me on his bday one day asking if I wanted to hang out with him at this hunting cabin we both go to on his bday (yeah I was shocked but glad). So we spent the entire day together talking, went out to eat, and getting to know each other. We leave, he gives me a hug/rubs my back, and says he will call me, I say yeah do. A week later he sends me a text saying, "Went fishing today and was thinking about you, hope you have a good day." I ended up calling him since my text wouldn't go through so he wouldn't think I was ignoring him.he told me to call him if I was going to be near a lake where he works (it's another county he had to relocate to for work related to law enforcement). So I call him when I am at this place, and he says ok I will call you tomorrow to see where you are.he doesn't call until 3 days later and says, "I will call you when I get out and come see your place" since he had to go do something with his job. Hours pass.I haven't heard from him, I was worried, so I called and left him a voicemail. He sends me a text saying "i had to go back to my town to help my partner.sorry I didn't make it out there.ill call you in a bit." Ok well I was mad that he didn't at least call me instead of making me sit there for hours waiting.he could have called me on the way back to his house right or at least sent me a text before I had to call? So he doesn't call until the next day, even though he said it would be a bit, and says he is sorry and explains where he had to go, but didn't explain why he didn't call on the way there. Anyway, he said to call him if I caught anything when I went fishing, but I didn't because I didn't want to be pushy. He said he is hanging out with his buddies this weekend, but I know some of them have girlfriends, so I don't know if he is just enjoying being a bachelor/being free or not. I feel like he is making excuses, but we had such a good time together, and everyone thinks he likes me since he asks about me, tells people to tell me hey, etc. and he spent is bday with me, so I am sooo confused/frustrated!

Do guys just not like to talk and want girls to call? Is he afraid of a commitment? Do yall think he is making excuses? What should I do? (Call, email him about how it went, or let him come to me?) Do you think he is interested? Why doesn't he call more or act so busy?!? PLEASE HELP! THANKS!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Play it cool for awhile it's not like you guys have been dating forever or are the best of friends you don't want to keep calling him or he may think your to clingy. If you play it casual for a couple days if he doesn't call or text you than that's when you send a text asking him how his weekend was or leave him a voicemail that sounds like that. If he likes you he WILL call back and if he doesn't than just wait till he makes the next move. As for the busy part of his job don't ask him why he hasn't called he may get the impression that your the jealous type. so let everything pan out.

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    • Do you think I am trying to rush things? I just didn't know if he was making excuses, but I mean I know his job is demanding and all, but it seems like he is making excuses. But he does answer when I called and did call me back so I just don't know...I am scared losing him/letting this go because we have so much in common and I really like him.

    • No your not rushing things your just getting ahead of yourself. If he's answering your calls that's a good sign he's not ignoring you. But definitely don't try calling every hour of everyday when he's ready to hang out again or when work slows down he will call you. Don't asume that he's making excuses either he could be very busy at work and stressing that he's not getting the time to talk to you.

    • I know but why wouldn't he at least call me and tell me he wasn't going to make it or text instead I sat there and got worried since there was a bad storm? He has time to go out with his buddies on weekends though...i just don't know what he wants

What Guys Said 4

  • Well, I think the first thing you have to realize is that guys don't think that much about it. A lot of guys are used to dealing with other guys who get together or don't get together and if someone blows them off, it doesn't matter unless it costs money (like game tickets or something). We have a tendancy to get caught up in our own stuff and not do stuff, like call to say we are busy (you should watch more sit coms.) He probably does like you, but he wants to get together in comfortable circumstances. If you put to much pressure on him, it may drive him off. I don't think he is making excuses. When I was single, I was always planning to go fishing or something else with my buddies. One by one, we met girls and slowly but surley we did less with the guys and more with the girl. Its a transition that takes the guy a while and its not fun, because guys like to do guy stuff. You will be very successful with him if you take an iterest in his hobbies and ask if you can go along and do some of the guy things with him (like fishing). Guys do not like to sit around and talk, that s for after the "doing stuff".

    Hope this helps.

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    • You see, part of the attraction is that we like the same things: I am a girl and I go hunting and fishing, which he does, so that is how we met since he is a best friend of a mutual friend. So for our first date, we went to our hunting cabin and fished and talked, looked for deer, etc. So I do like to do guy things/outdoors. I just feel like I might be rushing it, but I am scared to lose him since I am crazy about him and I think we have A LOT in common and don't want to let this go, ya knw.

    • I agree with Shlei3, Ithink you might be rushing it or maybe expecting him to go at the same pace as you. It's good that you like those things, and if he finds out he can enjoy stuff with you .... and have some space.. he will come around.

  • OMG , what a coincidence its similar to my story with this girl ,

    anyway maybe he's dating someone else at the same time ,

    take my advise don't call him or txt him for couple day's and see what he'll do

    if he really attracted to you he''ll try to call you and talk to you to see what's wrong

    so be patient and let him think that you're not interested in him and see how's it goes.

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  • one thing is he might be busy and he might be excusing himself . Try to find out if he really so busy that he couldn't do or he intentionally did it. Wait and give it some time , don't be in a hurry

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    • He said the test he had to give took longer than he thought, then his partner called, but he could have texted me right quick instead of making me sit there. He said his work/job has been busy. Do you think I am rushing things since the first time we went out/got to know each other was only 2 weeks ago??

  • nah itz not like dat

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think it's got anything to do with commitment seeing as it's too early to even talk about that. I would call him and let him know how much it annoys you and hurts your feelings when he doesn't think of calling you ahead of time to let you know he wasn't going to make it. Give him one more shot and if he doesn't make more of an effort I would let that be and not try anymore.

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  • Rule number one: don't call a lot because most guys become aggravated over multiple calls. Not saying you do.

    Anyway, this guy might actually really be busy. Maybe, he is worried he did a poor job on the date and he is afraid of screwing up again. First dates are always the hardest to tell whether or not the other person had a good time.

    The other thing might be is that he is trying to put it off so you will miss him more. Both girls and guys do that all of the time. Guessing he thought that was the best motive, he might have gone a little to long.

    Hope that helped.

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    • In my opinion the date went really well, or he could have left at any time, but we stayed the entire day talking and being outdoors. he said he had fun and we will do it again and he would call me. I am now worried, since that was the first time I have been alone with just him, that maybe I am trying to push things too much, but like I said below I don't want this to die out.

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