I'm a young, smart, attractive female but I have guy problems. I have been told that I am intimidating by friends and even by a few guys that have tried to contact me on facebook rather than in person, when apparently they see me everyday. Also I do turn down guys. no I'm not snobby and I don't come off as snobby, its just I am tired of scum bags hitting on me, looking for sex. Guys who aren't even really interested in getting to know me because they just want to play games. I have fallen for a scum bag in the past, he fed me lines and I believed him, he was wrong for me in every way. And so I feel that I know what kind of guys to avoid.
Recently I have met a guy, he seems like a decent guy. I didn't feel like telling my girlfriends about him until the other day because I'm not really that excited about him, in the back of my head I want to say "all guys are the same" but I'm giving him a chance to prove himself. And if he is a good guy I don't want to turn him off by never opening up and trusting him. So far I have been seeing this guy for almost a month, which is a record in my book. This guy has taken me out to eat a couple of times calls or texts me every night. since our third date he kisses me and holds my hand. We do have fun conversations. He went out of town last week and before he left he told me he was gonna text me while he was away. And of course I did not believe him, I always have this attitude " if he is a jerk I won't be missing anything because I don't have feelings for him anyway" but he did text me while he was away and I was surprised. He was telling me about his trip and that he couldn't wait to see me. But I still can't believe this guy. I know all the tricks guys pull.
Also, I do turn down a lot of guys and so I haven't had sex in forever, I don't want to be treated as an object, I'm a respectable and classy lady. Well when this guy came back to town he told me he missed me and that he wanted to see me. And so I was thinking he probably just wants to have sex and if I do have sex with him he isn't gonna call me or wanna see me afterward. what a waste of time again. but then I was like I have not had sex in forever I might as well go see what he wants. So we hung out at his place last night, watched a movie, cuddled and then sex.
is this guy really into me? How can I tell? I don't want to get too excited about him yet because I'm afraid of getting hurt. We haven't talked about us being committed so we are not in a relationship. When we first met he did tell me that he was looking for a relationship and not up for playing games and I told him what I want as well. But also I know guys will say anything just to get in a girls pants.
Most Helpful Guy
Here is what I will stress...
You can't assume anything. You say you're tired of scumbags approaching you. Fine. You say you don't come off as snobby. I don't buy it. The fact that you have to say it probably means you are intimidating to guys and that perhaps you are even rude sometimes.
Many good guys get frustrated because women who have been hit on since 13 get jaded. Guys like myself who didn't figure it out until 21 are at somewhat of a disadvantage because we want relationships but some girls think any guy who walks in her direction is a scumbag who wants to have sex with her. If that's you, get over yourself. Be open to everyone and realize that you can't judge anyone. If you don't want to be with guys who just want sex, then don't have sex with guys. Or wait a long time after you date them. That's the easiest way. Doing things the other way, where you "size" guys up and assume what they want, will only lead you to misery. I have approached many girls, some just to have a conversation with no romantic interest, and others when I was looking for an LTR, and have been shot down because they're angry at the world. That's their loss; don't let it be yours.0