Women with children; What are you looking for?

Har Har, yes I know - a father right? That idea used to freak me out..especially when the child isn't even mine.

But now I've met a girl who is freaking 'on point.' I'm definitely into her and we have a connection. I'm feeling like I'm tired of bouncing between relationships and want a more stable thing.

So that being said, most advice on here, unfortunately, is for young(er) people who are interested in 'other' things. I'm only 24, as is she, but she has a 2 year old daughter. The father lives along ways away and pays child support. I've yet to meet her daughter, and that makes me slightly nervous because she will probably take pointers from the child's interest in me haha.

So yeah,any single women with children out there want to share with me what you are looking for in a guy? Stable job, future, maturity are things I tend to believe I have already...but try to be more specific if possible, it would be much appreciated :D!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Abortion is murder.

    There are many methods of abortion. The procedure used depends largely upon the stage of pregnancy and the size of the unborn child. Dr. J.C. Willke, in his book, Abortion: Questions and Answers (Hayes Publishing Co. Inc, Cincinnati, 1985), has divided the methods of abortion into three main categories: those that invade the uterus and kill the child by instruments which enter the uterus through the cervix; those that kill the preborn child by administration of drugs and then induce labour and the delivery of a dead baby; and, those that invade the uterus by abdominal surgery.

    Dilation of the uterus is required in cervical methods of abortion. The usual method of dilation is to insert a series of instruments of increasing size into the cervix. A set of dilators, metallic curved instruments, are used to open the cervix sufficiently to accommodate the instruments of abortion. In contrast with a normal birth, where the dilation occurs slowly over a period of many hours, the forceful stretching by the abortionist to open the cervix takes a matter of seconds. This premature and unnatural stretching of the cervix can result in permanent physical injury to the mother.

    Laminaria (dehydrated material, usually seaweed) is sometimes used to reduce damage to the cervix. Inserted into the cervix the day before the scheduled abortion, it absorbs water and swells, gradually pushing open the cervix in the process.

    At Eight Weeks

    At eight to nine weeks the eyelids have begun forming and hair appears. By the ninth and tenth weeks the preborn child sucks her thumb, turns somersaults, jumps, can squint to close out light, frown, swallow, and move her tongue.

    At this early stage of development, suction abortions are performed using a smaller tube, requiring little dilation of the cervix. This is called "menstrual extraction." However, if all the fetal remains are not removed, infection results, requiring full dilation of the cervix and a scraping out of the womb.

    Suction Aspiration

    This is the most common method of abortion during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. General or local anaesthesia is given to the mother and her cervix is quickly dilated. A suction curette (hollow tube with a knife-edged tip) is inserted into the womb. This instrument is then connected to a vacuum machine by a transparent tube. The vacuum suction, 29 times more powerful than a household vacuum cleaner, tears the fetus and placenta into small pieces which are sucked through the tube into a bottle and discarded.

    Dilation and Curettage (D&C)

    This method is similar to the suction method with the added insertion of a hook shaped knife (curette) which cuts the baby into pieces. The pieces are scraped out through the cervix and discarded [Note: This abortion method should not be confused with a therapeutic D&C done for reasons other than pregancy.]

    At Twelve Weeks

    By the end of the third month all arteries are present, including the coronary vessel

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    • Hahaha, I agree with you but yes, slightly off here :D

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    • Lol@sufi633. I can't even explain how this happened! I could have sworn I was on whole different page!

What Girls Said 9

  • someone who accutally like spending time with the kid. I had a boyfriend he adored my kids. If my daughter was crying with we were walking to the bus stop he's scoop her up and carry her talking to her the whole way. it made me that much more hooked on him to see him that great with my babies. and the fact that he understood that last minuet dates didn't usually work. cancling plans is a pain too especially last minuet! by that point you have a sitter you have to pay. respect it if she wants to take it slow. most single moms get a little nervous.

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  • I can only speak for maiself but mai daughter has a father so I'm not looking for one when I date. Rather I'm looking for someone who is understanding, who won't try to make me choose between mai daughter and him, who is okay with kids and can possibly be a friend to her. Mostly I just want someone who I know I can trust with not only maiself but mai babygirl.

    As for meeting the kid;

    Kids have a sense about people and if mai daughter repeatedly refuses to go near someone I know something is off about them. If the woman you want has waited this long before you meet her babygirl its probably because she wanted to make sure you were good enough to even be introduced. When she lets you meet her little one she's probably looking to a more stable long term relationship with you. Don't push yourself on the kid and initial reactions can be deceiving. You may need to grow on her.

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    • Thanks a lot for your advice; actually it's only been two days since I took her out -so hasn't been along time. I'm just finding myself very interested in her and have never dated a girl with kid(s).

  • What you fail to realize is, the children or child has a FATHER, their just not in their lives! If a woman is looking for another man to be her child or children father,what kind of woman is she? A skisa ! A real woman handle her business and really don't need a man to be a father to her child or children!

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    • Well there are a thousand things wrong with your answer, I'm not sure where to start. But hergoes: #1. The "a father, right?" was a joke...as I indicated with the preceding "har har." So effing relax. #2. Saying a woman doesn't need a man to be the father of her child is shortsighted and closeminded. The child deserves to have a male figure in his/her life, even if that goes against your whacked out feminist principles but once you have kids life is no longer about you-it's about the child.

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    • What you fail to understand is if you got uncles or brothers,they are men,aren't they? You going out in the street looking for a man to be your children father,is crazy,that's why you don't have one! If you was a good woman their father would be in their lives,it say a lot about you,men leave for a reason! I was trying to give you some advice and NO man is going to take on another man's responsibility!

    • One other thing,you put these dumb as question on the website to get advice, and then you become argumentative,if you don't want the advice,stop put it on the web for advice! Have a blessed day!

  • omg! I posted to the wrong question. sorry!

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  • Single mom here: I think we want everything else all single women do, we just need to put 2 peoples feelings and life up there with ours and can't just think about the short term, its a long term thing, and I know me personaly, won't bring my daugther around a guy unless I know we are both as serious about each other ... A stable job, maturity, and a lot alot of patience and understanding comes along with dating single moms.

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  • first of all just from reading what you just said you need to work on maturity and no we are not looking for a father you a**hole, some of what you just said was just completly insulting. If you are serious about doing this then you need to stop joking because whether you like it or not a child is involve and whatever affects the mom affects the child, so if you are saying you are serious and heading into their lives on games, you are going to maie a somewhat challenging life even harder, so you can be pissed by what I said but single moms really don't need another d*** in their lives they need a man. So if you are that man, you can do you no pon intended

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  • I don't think you'll meet the daughter till she's very sure of her feelings for you. That's the mark of a good mom. "Don't expose the kids to every Tom, Dick and Harry."

    She's most likely looking for someone reliable and kind. Someone who will be willing to like her and make her feel sexy but still offer to join in with things to do with her kid (once you've been introduced, that is).

    There are a LOT of single moms in my area and few exceptions to this. For the most part, their kids come first, but they want a little personal snuggle time with someone who can make them feel like a sexy woman again.

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  • Do not abuse my child, do not talk down to them. Mature, has his life straight, no commitment errors or flaws. Pretty much the basics.

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  • Well, when I date I look for someone safe/trustworthy. I don't really trust guys around my children so I don't bring them around. But if I were to want to have a relationship with the guy I would have to trust that he wouldn't harm my children. And my children's dad is in their life so I'm not looking for a father for them...they already have one.

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    • The 'har har' s indicate a joke.

What Guys Said 2

  • Actually most women with kids aren't looking for father for their child. They want someone who will accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally. Someone who isn't put off children and will treat her child as if it were his.

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  • dude your 24 f*** that sh*t

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    • Damn it, that brings up another question... stupid website.

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