Haven't heard from him (no text)

[Anonymous]

So, I've been seeing someone for about four months now. I wouldn't say we were boyfriend/girlfriend type of deal, but genuinely enjoying each others company. We're "dating". He's been absolutely swamped at work, but we have still managed to keep contact through text a few times a week. I texted him last Thursday asking if he wanted to hang out that coming weekend. It's now Wednesday and I haven't heard from him. There was one other time that this happened. I texted him a few days later asking if he was okay. He apologized and said that work had become so stressful. I guess I'm just used to him texting me back within the hour.

Anyway, should I text him back or wait? I am a nearly 22 year old female and he just turned 26 a few months ago.

Thanks!

Updates

+1 y

some additional notes: we always text each other back and forth. this is why this particular incident is making me feel all weird. it's not like him so that's why I'm concerned

[PhatPat]

Hmm...well you guys are both in your 20's and I don't think age really matters when it's not too far apart...it's really just individual experience.

Well, I totally get being swamped at work and it being stressful...that absolutely would eat into time with someone that you're dating. However, the bottom line here is that if he really WANTS to spend time with you, he would make the time somewhere, even if it's just a phone call you know? Although it definitely sounds like you guys have had good times with each other and you've both enjoyed it, you are not priority for him...which I can kind of understand since you guys aren't serious (he's not committed to making you first priority), but that's a crappy spot for you to be in.

I think of it like this: if he's that absent right now, can you imagine how hard it's going to be for him to find time for you when you guys are actually IN a relationship and you have more feelings and expectations invested? I say enjoy it for what it is, but if you plan on getting any more serious or if you need something deeper, look somewhere else. Good luck sweetie, remember you deserve the best!

[Asker]

I should probably clarify more. October is a very, very busy month for him at work. He's stated that after October, seeing each other will be a lot easier. He worked two jobs up until two weeks ago. He stated that one of the reasons he quit was to spend more time with me. We hung out on the day he quit.

[flyergrad09]

If he's really into you, he'll take 30 seconds out of his super busy day to send you a text, even if it's just a "Hey how's it going?" I would say that unless you hear from him again, forget about him because he's not worth your time.

Sorry to be harsh, but I've been in your place and I wish someone had been as honest with me.

[Asker]

I do agree that it doesn't take more than a few seconds to text someone. We ALWAYS send simple "how are you doing?" texts, this is why it was unusual that he didn't text me this time and why I'm not quick to dismiss him.

I actually appreciate your harshness. I think most people would be biased and post what they would want to hear

[jewelsjules]

Hi having same prob at the moment too and we're both inour 40's so age hasn't changed the situation! Not heard from my 'bf' in a month. He's a cop so very busy but always managed to stay in touch with each then it just stopped without warning when relationship was fine. The advice I've been given and my gut feeling tbh, is that he is taking the coward's way out and not endign the relationship properly for whatever reason. He has issues too I suppose. Texts take seconds, if they had the timein the past and now have stopped it just means they're not that interested any more or just lazy. I'm agirl and girls are good at texting, guys don't deal with it int he same way. I've had to look at myself and address my insecurities, having no contact from someone who previously texted you all the time makes you insecure regardless of your own baggage, the situation will do your head in. Take a step back as I am with my situation, you're still very young and there are plenty of guys out there that will treat you with respect. Hope that helps.

[DeepWinter]

Some times mean something can be wrong mad or angry at himself or at you

I tend to do it with my girlfriend been dating for 2 years

all you can do just send a text saying the normal stuff asking about the day

give him time it will naturally come out

[Anonymous]

Text him... I forget to text back a looooot. Especially now... I don't have that much time and I always postpone these things until I forget.