Scared to date because of my ex?

so pretty much..my ex and I go back to when I was 15 and just today he got married to a girl he was talking to, dating, and everything within less than a month. we were engaged we have huge history but randomly he gets back with his ex on cot 4th and today they're married. he was JUST talking to me the 23rd about how he missed me and wanted to see me and still felt like I was his. now that I'm REALLY hurt and absolutely crushed feeling like I've been left for another girl, I'm not sure if I want to even date anymore. there's this guy who's so sweet, really cute, I think he's interested in me but I'm scared. I told myself I'll never get married, never date again, never fall in love again because I don't ever want to feel what I'm feeling now EVER again. nobody should feel this kind of pain. I guess you'd have to know the history to understand maybe. well, what can I do?any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • my friend is in a similar situation to this.

    Her and a guy went through so much. Like pretty much everyone in their family knew they were going to get married and such but now out of the blue he's marrying this other girl at the end of Nov. She is obviously heartbroken and I try to make her feel better but she's still in a slump and try for her to focus on other things but she's always focuses on him and nothing but him and has the mind set of her not being happy and never marrying and being depressed all her life. I try and try to make her feel better but she won't accept anything I tell her.

    Obviously you don't want to be like this girl, you should go out and enjoy life and go for that one guy, because you never know that one guy might make you feel even BETTER than the last guy. And I'm sure you don't want to miss that.

    It's normal to feel upset, sad and depressed about this dilemma. It's expected for you to feel this way. But the important thing is to not stay in that slump and to always remember that you're better than that and no matter what happened in your past you will always come out on top and find love again.

    You shouldn't let your past experiences ruin your future experiences.

    No man is worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry.

    The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt

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    • Oh no I kinda am like your friend except I've come to the realization that staying in my house and crying about the situation will do absolutely nothing for me and the situation..when I cried I set aside a time, which helped. just because my heart's broken doesn't mean my life stops. I still have classes, I still have my family, I still have parties I go to and friends I want to go out with, so I decided that I would cry from 11pm-4am and after that no more crying. I was allowed to do that

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    • Wow 5 hours of straight crying? That's intense =/

      and yeah I let her know that I'm there for her and if she needs anything I'm there for her but it kinda sucks not being able to do anything when you see your friend hurting =( & if that guy means a lot to you then you should talk to him and tell him why you need time so if he's a nice/good guy with good intentions he'll stay (but be careful though this is a sketchy road...)

      I know it's hard to not punish guys for past guys mistakes

    • I mean as a guy it's hard to not punish future girls for past girls mistakes but its just something you have to do. I'm not a jerk and I try hard to be fair and honest with every girl regardless if girls have wronged me. If they have wronged me then who am I to stoop down to their level? I mean it's not fair at all to punish a totally great guy who has done nothing to you and just treat him wrongly.

      Also if need to vent or just talk about this situation I'm all ears :)

  • Very horrible situation.

    The guy (as strong as your feelings are for him) is a schmuck. Look, I am a huge ass, and I think what he did was awful.

    Would you rather have gotten married to this guy after you have seen his true colors? You should be laughing and feel sorry for the girl he actually married.

    It sucks, but life goes on. You will eventually get over it and be glad it worked out this way.. Try not to mope around and think about it. Go out with your friends, meet people, enjoy life.

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    • Oh trust me I REFUSE to stay inside and cry all the time about it...there's nothing I can do about it and it won't do anything to help the situation so staying inside and crying won't do anything so I'm going out and doing what I normally do but you're right...it was definitely shady of him...what makes the situation even better...he got me a toy;) and I asked him what he was going to do with it and he's going to use it on her XD apparently since me and him won't use it it's OK for them to use it

    • If I was her and found out the toy he was using on me was ORIGINALLY for his ex-fiance who he'll secretly always want to be with...id be livid. that's just me though. that's almost like buying an engagement ring but it didn't work out so you gave it to the next girl you proposed to. unacceptable.

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