Did I react harshly after cancelled date? Should I have given him another chance?

I recently started chatting to a guy online. He IM'd me and I admit to taking my time to reply (yes, because I wasn't overly interested) However, we've been chatting for around a week for hours at a time and my interest grew.

During this, he asked for my no. and could he ring me to speak to me in person. He said that it would be nice to hear my voice. At first I said no (It feels phony to me chatting away like best buddies to someone I've never actually met. I would rather meet them first) Perhaps that is strange but anyway, I did actually speak to him on the phone a couple of times. He would ring to chat for a while before I go to sleep. He'd usually send a nice SMS good night/morning too.

We seemed to be getting on well and made arrangements to meet up in person. He was going to drive to my town to meet with me (I had offered to come to his city because I know it fairly well). However, about an hour before we were supposed to meet he sent an SMS saying he'd only just woke up bla bla bla had to go and do something so he didn't think he'd be able to make it at that time. No apology. I replied and said it was OK, no problem or whatever.

I didn't hear from him again until a few hours later when I went online and he was too (not the dating site., I use ICQ and he'd downloaded that to chat to me) Anyway., he started chatting to me and said he'd just got home. He asked me if I wanted to meet him still. I just said yea, sure, maybe next time and he replied OK, whatever. Our communication felt a bit awkward maybe because I was disappointed or a little annoyed he canceled our meeting. Anyway, we were chatting and after about 20mins of no reply from him I just said that I was going and bye. He actually sent a reply after that saying sorry he wasn't there and bye. I was still online but I'd decided to call it quits with this guy and just ignored him. He hasn't been online since and I've received no messages or calls. I was pretty pleased with myself.

So that was all fine until I was telling my friend this story and she said I'd been a bit harsh. She thinks this guy was interested and he was actually trying to re-schedule. She thinks I came across not interested myself (which isn't the case, I did like him) She said that I can't really expect him to keep sticking his neck out if I show no interest so I might consider initiating some contact. I'm confused now. Was I harsh? I don't really think it's a good enough excuse to over sleep a first date.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People make mistakes. It's kind of petty to ignore someone you like because they overslept.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • You had every right to be annoyed at him. And you weren't being harsh since you didn't yell at him or blast him online. If you feel comfortable text or message him. If you don't feel like he's worth a second chance, then just let this guy go. There will be plenty of other guys around and you can just take this time as a learning experience. Good luck with which every decision you make!

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  • I wouldn't sweat it too much, or feel bad about your reaction. He overslept for your first date - you're allowed to be annoyed by that. If he didn't see it as a big enough deal to try to plan something else, at the very least, and you did, then your personalities probably aren't going to really mesh in the long run anyway.

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  • I think you should give him a shot. Chat with him a little more and see if he wants to meet another time. Maybe you all could meet in a neutral location between your cities/towns. He may suprise you. :)

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