How do you know if you like someone on the first date?

Background:

I recently went on dates with two guys I met online. Before this, I hadn't been on a date with someone who wasn't already my boyfriend; both my boyfriends were people I got to know at work/school, had crushes on, and then started going out with, with no dates. This seems like the normal and natural course of a relationship to me.

Question:

My problem is that I went on dates with these two guys I met online, and everything went fine. They were both sweet, reasonably attractive good guys, we had things to talk about, and we got along. But I don't feel the "magic" that I felt with previous boyfriends who I had gotten to know first. Is that something I should be looking for on a first date? Or does that feeling develop after several dates, once you get to know a person?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This happened to me too recently. I went on a date with a girl that I thought would be a good future girlfriend. I didn't really feel any "sparks" or anything. After that I pretty much gave up on her and intended to just be friends. Besides that I met another girl and without a single date I already felt that "spark." We're going on a date this weekend, but I think we both know we already like each other it's just we're not going to commit to a relationship yet.

    So to answer your question. Personally I think feelings are there if they are there. I don't think they magically appear. If you dated and you enjoyed it, but didn't really feel anything, then maybe they aren't the right guys. And I think dating before a relationship is natural, especially for young adults, but that "spark" is also natural so you'll know when they're the right person. Every time I have felt that "spark" it has been pretty early on.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • I think it can go either way you know? Maybe, especially because you're getting to know them on the first date (if you haven't known them before), you should give them another date for another chance. Now if you go on like 3 dates and there's still no magic there, then that means there's no chemistry there. No matter how sweet, nice, smart, attractive, etc someone is, if you guys don't have mesh to the point of chemistry, they may make a good friend, but they're never going to have that passion you're looking for. And usually, because the magic isn't there for you, it's probably not there for them either.

    I say, give these guys another chance, but definitely don't drag it on too long...if something is there, it will develop with a quickness, if nothing develops then that means it never will. Go with your gut girl - but have fun :) Good luck hun!

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