Long story short; I met this AMAZING guy online. Yes..I said online. It's not as if I cannot get guys in real life - in fact, I get asked out tons. However, the guys who are usually interested in me are the player types and those are not my type at all. So anyways, I met this really sweet and amazing guy online who lives across the world. We webcam a lot and just laugh and talk to each other. The thing is, he says he doesn't want a relationship because he wants to be focused on his career but I can't help but think the real reason is because he doesn't want to date someone online. In the past, I thought of online dating as completely weird and out of desperation. But this guy totally changed my mind about it. I'm just really confused because I feel like I'm starting to like him a lot and he acts like he likes me too, but says he doesn't want a relationship at the moment. What should I do?
Most Helpful Girl
I met my current boyfriend online and we've been together for 2.5 years. It's always been long distance but we're still happy, and soon I'll finish uni and go down and live with him hopefully.
However, the important thing is, we didn't get together till we met in person. I had a crush on him while we were just talking online, but I knew you can't really *know* someone till you meet and spend time with them. Like others on here have said, you can be anyone you want on the internet.
I once was in an actual online relationship when I was 16. We eventually met up at this hotel and spent the night together (though we didn't have sex), and I was really shy and nervous and said almost nothing to him. After that I didn't hear from him for like 2 weeks, then he emailed me saying I was too young (he decides this after 6 months of going on webcam...) Anyway, he was fat, pompous, had no real sense of humour and was quite clearly just trying to get laid. He didn't try anything I didn't want, but he was still a bastard. This stuff happens.
The fact that he probably lives a long way from you probably plays into why he doesn't want a relationship; he'd never see you. Also it kinda makes me think that maybe he HAS been pretending about some things, and he doesn't want you to find out. In reality he's probably not your perfect guy. I know it's hard, but try to let it go. You'll find someone else in time.
Realize why he doesn't want a relationship. He's across the world, and has a career. Long distance relationships take a LOT more work than an in-person one. Even if it did work, eventually one of you would have to go to the other person. He has a career, so it might not be him. So you have to ask yourself before you start pursuing this: would you pack up your whole life to be with him? If not, then take more time with it. Maybe he'll fall for you soon, but in the meantime, just take it slow.
A close friend met his wife online - just like thousands of other people - so forget the whole online-is-weird thing. That may have been true 10 years ago.
The bigger issue is your unwilingness to believe this guy when he says he doesn't want a relationship. If he's as sweet and sincere as you say, BELIEVE HIM. It's definitely true that everything seems better online - before you actually meet the person and see their not-so-perfect side. Now this guy may be the cat's pajames (whatever the hell that mens!)., I don't know. But ... iIf he is, then take his word at face value. If he's not, then your wasting your time anyway. So either way, treat him like a friend who does not want anything more.
don't do it... I've done it and it was fun for a while until you really just want someone there and he can't be and you can't go to someone else because that would be cheating... just be friends with him and find someone closer to you location-wise
Hate to say it but move on... Long distance relationships especially if you've never even met in real person won't last.. I'm sorry...
But... I would not say don't date online guys... Becuz actually, even though I got asked out a lot when I met online guys, I could tell easily what they were after... And once I found that out, I would delete them.. But my fiance actually found me online, and we lived in the same small town and we started dating in real life after getting to know each other online and I love him to death! Lol
But be carefull because dating online can also be very dangerous and creepy... Be very cautious especially if you ever meet the guy an make sure you meet in a crowded place and don't be alone with him till you know him... And never never never send a naugty pic to a guy you don't know, or address, or phone number
I don't believe in dating online (meeting someone and only talking online and never actually meeting up are dating before you meet up) but I do believe in meeting someone in person if the timing is right and details work out and you have a good connection. I wouldn't commit yourself to some dude online - at this point you guys are friends andhe has made it clear that's all he wants. If some day you are in the same part of the world then maybe you should meet up if its that great of a connection - I totally believe in finding people online who you have great connections with - even love interest but don't try dating someone you haven't met, and don't sacrifice anything or him - he is an internet friend after all. good luck
I have almost the same problem. I met a wonderful guy online but he lives so far away, it's sad. /:
I would say, stay connected, but don't count on getting to meet him, because it may not work out, and you want to keep your options open. No matter how great he may seem online.. If he doesn't want a relationship, he doesn't want a relationship. If he does, he'll come around eventually. (:
Like you said, he doesn't want one 'at the moment'. Things may change, or not. Just keep your options open for either possibility.
i don't recommend it. one of my close friends kept it from me and everyone and she secretly loved talking to a guy online and fell really hard for him, and had high hopes to meet him and even get married, he turned out to be a psycho lunatic out in the mid west and was fake and he threatened to stalk her and kill her. We had to go to the police she had to change all her numbers her email everything to get rid of him from her life and all she was left with was haunting bitter memories.
im not saying all online people are creeps, but its just a bad idea. its not worth it in the end, its so much more fulfilling to meet someone real in person and study their body language and facial expressions and hug them. you can't trust people on the internet. also it shows you're desperate too and cmon you can do so much more better than that!