Okay, so my (ex?)boyfriend had been blowing me off quite a bit this past week or two. He stopped saying, "I love you." When he would get off the phone. His texts were distant, and pretty short.
Halloween night, he blew me off, AGAIN, and told me he had a terrible day, and just wanted to go home to bed. He actually lied to me about it, and ended up going out.
When he blew me off, I told him how hurt and upset I was. He replied with, "I just can't handle the stress, maybe we shouldn't talk until Wednesday so you don't have to worry. Blah blah. I hate hurting you baby. I hate it."
I sent him a text, asking if he was done with me, or if he wanted to try and work things out.
I got absolutely no response. The next morning, I sent him a text saying, "I guess we are then?"
And I called him about 3 times, trying to figure out what's going on.
I haven't heard from him in 2 days.
Can anyone help me? What are some reasons why he isn't returning any of my calls/texts? I am so confused.
Most Helpful Guy
Can't know for sure his reasons. There are a number that could be imagined for suddenly distancing, but no point speculating because there is no way to know without him saying.
And it isn't fair to do that to you without communicating, but yet he is doing it sadly.
In terms of how to respond, I would say that the best thing you can do is decide your boundaries and then accept his behavior for what it is. It tells you something about him, that he isn't mature enough to care about keeping you informed. And it probably reflects some fear of something in the relationship. Most likely it has to do with feeling trapped and that it will keep him from other opportunities or that he is afraid he can't tell you how he really feels.
So what I would do is simply contact him one time in whatever form you know he is most likely to get it. Tell him that you respect that he needs space for whatever reason, that that is his choice and you accept it. Tell him you hope he will feel comfortable telling you what is happening when he is ready and that when he does you will listen and try to understand. And with that, I would try to go about your life.
Then you will have to decide how long to give him to respond. Eventually you may have to decide to move on based on his character as displayed in this response. And if you do that, you'll have to then decide if you want to insist on no contact later even if he does come back.
Hopefully, ideally, he would feel more comfortable after knowing you can respond maturely and with acceptance and decide to talk to you more openly, but there is no guarantee.0