Trying to date a shy girl, what should I do?

okay this is the whole story.

i work with this girl, and she is EXTREMELY SHY and quiet around everyone. We have conversations, but they end quickly, and if its about her it ends as soon as someone walks in the same area we are in. She smiles at things I say, but in a very shy way, I don't think she even realizes it. Whenever I'm talkin with sum1 else about sumthin that has happened 2 me she is usually listenin carefully. I see her glancing at me all the time, but whenever I look at her she looks away or acts like she is doing something else. I kind of made it known 2 her that I liked her a day before the stuff happened, and now she's been shyer then ever towards me. She was avoiding me the next day, because I told her I needed 2 talk 2 her. I went at her work station, and her friends were like "HEY, JC's HERE" because they all thought I wanted 2 talk 2 her, but in reality I went 2 talk 2 another person. When I was there she was blushin like HELL! XTREMELY QUIET, AND ACTIN LIKE SHE WAS CLEANING SOMETHING, trying not to look at me. Well I had told her that I needed 2 talk 2 her, that same day, so she didn't even go on break, she was avoiding me. and when I told her again "COME TALK 2 ME WHEN YOURE DONE WITH WORK" she said "OK, if she's done with everything". And that same night after she finished working she left VERY soon, but she made sure that I saw her leave, by walking out on my work station (reason I know this is because we went on break twice together, and both those times she walked my way makin sure I would see her, but not tell me herself that she was on break). So after she left, And I didn't go after her, her friend walked back (supposedly 2 get her food), and I asked her why didn't she come talk 2 me. She said she doesn't know why she didn't come.(BULLSHIT) but that she was outside, so if I wanted talk 2 her I should go. I didn't go because I wanted 2 talk 2 her alone not while her friends around.N plus I was kinda mad that she did that. Then when I saw them both leave, her friend was lookin my way smilin, but the girl I like was looking down. On this day she was wearin more makeup at work, earings and what not, overall dressed better. She even brought her hair down at the end of the day b4 she left, so she would get my attention. she waited 4 me 2 go talk 2 her I'm guessing.

what do you think I should do, and what you think the story is? move in and ask her face to face to go on a date next time I c her? or just give up. please tell me what I should do. THANKS ALOT! an


Most Helpful Girl

  • From a shy girl, let me tell you, don't give up! Even though she knows that you like her, its HELLA hard for a shy girl to even attempt to reciprocate. Seriously, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack or something when I try to reciprocate w/guys who obvs like me. She doesn't want to embarrass herself or say something stupid or stutter because she's nervous.

    You just might have to talk to her w/her friends around. I know I can be the biggest chatterbox when I'm with my friends but around a guy I like, sometimes I can't think of a blessed thing even if I prepare in advance to have a conversation. You've already made contact with her friend, so let her know you wanna set something up for a small group of you and mutual friends. Go to a movie or something and dinner after at a casual place so you have something to talk about. Or not even dinner, go for ice cream or something. And try to find out what gets her talking. There is a subject every shy girl will start blabbing about, just find out what it is. maybe music she likes, a concert she wants to go to, a hobby, pets, etc.

    It will take longer than other girls you may have been with before, but if you really like her, please go for it. Sooo many times I've encountered guys that just weren't willing to keep trying and keep showing me that they really liked me, and I really hate it. Its so depressing to think that there's potential for something there and then have the guy give up just as I'm nearly positive that he feels the same way, and she might have been through it before too.

    GOOD LUCK! let me know how it goes!


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What Girls Said 3

  • Well I know what she feels. I may like a guy but hell do I get nervous after I find out he likes me.

    So what gets me realy comfortable is talking about something I know good or something like politics which always cause an argument.

    So do sweet stuff for her like send her flowers and after a while she will get over it and she will eventually warm up to u

  • Well I think there would be a way for telling her that you want to have a date with her. As I know every girls could understand what the other guy wants from her. But just you need to find out the way her able to agree for dating with you. And also make sure that you should have a gift for her as flower, jewelries that available in online store as jewelrybytali. com

  • Well, I am a very shy girl as well, so I can understand what this girl is doing. I did the EXACT same thing. well, not exactly, but I liked a guy and I was so shy around him. I did talk to him a little, just like for a pen or something like that. I would give him little hints that I liked him. I think he liked me too, but he never really acted on it, and I was so parnoid whenever he was around, I would look down and blush. It was awful. I badly wanted his attention, and when he didn't look at me I thought I would die. So then I began to doubt that he never liked me. Shy girls don't have great self confidence. she probably thinks you don't really really like her. It is too good to be true. "Nothing like this happens to me." That is probably what she is thinking. So basically I would say not to give up. You may be going a little too fast though. She doesn't know how to act. I do the same thing. She probably wants to say something to you, but as soon as she gets a few feet away from you she goes complety blank and doesn't know what to say. By the way, this little crush I had never developed into anything else because of my shyness. I regret it to this day, so just keep on trying to talk to her. Don't push too hard, but just let her know you like her. Without being too forward. She will open up. She just needs to feel confident and know that what is happening is really happening. DON'T GIVE UP!


What Guys Said 1

  • much drama to talk to a shy girl. :) Normally when I used to 'court' shy girls, I would just talk to them, period; didn't tell them I liked them, I just talked and even though they didn't hold a conversation long, I would eventually call them out on that. So I would say stuff like, 'why so quiet---are you hiding your sins from last night?" Of course, they would either laugh, or deny the statement, but I just kept on bugging them in a lighthearted way. My point to you is that from what you describe, I would be stressed out if I was the girl.

    What used to work for me with shy girls was just talking to them without stressing them out. I think you got the wrong approach----going to her and asking her why she didn't come and talk to you is kind of silly; I would never do that, and don't see why a person needs to do that; if they don't come talk to you then that means they don't feel comfortable or secure enough to talk to you; thus, your job is to go up to the shy girl and make her feel comfortable. I know how that is because I approached so many shy girls, and yes, they never come and talk to you; however, if you do your job of going to them and entertaining them, eventually they come to you.

    Also, you need to get over this thing of not talking to her when her friends are there. Again, you just need to talk to her; you don't have to talk about intimate stuff when her friends are there, but generic stuff; eventually, you can talk to her when her friends are not around, but that's after this girl is secure/comfortable enough around your presence.

    Anyway---as to what to do? Well, see if you can talk to her like she was any other person, and talk to her when her friends are around. It seems to me this girl is not comfortable yet around you; I mean, from what I experienced with shy girls, once they feel comfortable, they will talk to you and their "shyness" goes away. But is up to you to keep on talking to them and don't pressure them so I wouldn't ask for a date just yet. I would continue to talk to her, but without the drama you've done so far.

    • Doesnt that put me into the friend zone?? or I've already shown her that I'm not lookin for just for a friendship?? lol

    • Well, with shy girls I know you can't just come in and ask for a date right away cause they don't know how to behave in that situation; so my approach was to make them very comfortable with my presence, and sure, at first I came like a friend. Once I saw they opened up to me,then I could say, hey, what aabout having lunch such and such date? And of course, now they would easily say, sure. You do that 2,3 times and then you're dating. Is wearing down the enemy. Move too fast, and you lose.