Why can't guys tell the difference?

There seems to be this idea among some guys that if a girl wears anything remotely revealing should expect nasty comments. Now, yeah, a girl should (and I hope most do) know that wearing a low-cut top will get some looks. In my opinion, and I think a lot of other girls, these are fine. It's nasty comments and the loooong stares that are unwelcome. But it seems like a lot of guys (at least on this site) think these are things girls should expect if they wear anything remotely revealing. What's your opinion on this? Personally, I think girls should be aware of how the way they dress impacts others, but guys should also realize the difference between OK attention and over the top attention.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The point isn't whether you deserve them or not. The point is that they're going to happen.

    If you go out with your chest hams almost flopping out, yeah, guys are going to check you out. And yeah, guys are going to stare longer than you like. And yeah, it's quite likely some of them will make comments to you. If you choose to go out in revealing clothes, there will be both positive and negative consequences from it, whether you like it or not. You can't pick and choose all of the good parts without any of the bad- that's not how the world works.

    Am I defending the guys who give lewd comments? Not at all. They don't really have any business doing that (though the point where the comments are inappropriate vary from person to person, so it's subjective). My point is, if you dress in a revealing fashion, you WILL get attention you don't want. If that's a problem, wear something conservative. It's your choice- take the safe route, or accept both the good and the bad.

    • My issue isn't when my "chest hams are almost flopping out". It's when I'm wearing something pretty modest, maybe a little low cut, but not very, and I get these comments. That's the problem. Why should we just put up with the nasty comments? Your basically saying it's wrong, but oh well, I'm kind of asking for it, so I can't complain. Again, why don't people see the guys that make the lewd comments as being in the wrong?

    • I do see them as being in the wrong. I also see them as never going to disappear. What do you have the power to change- yourself, or every person who would ever make any comment you don't like, ever?

      You have the choice- wear something LESS revealing/flattering, never go outdoors, or accept that these comments are going to happen. If you really want, you can bitch them out whenever these comments occur, but I doubt that helps your case very much.

    • Ok, glad you see them as wrong. And no, I can't just make things change but I can try to change how people think about these things by putting it out there. I do accept that I'll sometimes get nasty comments even if I'm not wearing something very revealing, along with some compliments. But that doesn't mean I have to act like it's ok.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Sorry, but "nasty comments"? If I see a girl who is wearing something revealing, no matter the scale, all that will flow from my mouth are compliments.

    Girls are aware that if they show skin then guys will look, hence why they dress like that. It's not rocket science (actually it's genetics but nevermind)

    • Uhhh, yes, girls are aware of the looks, like I already said in the question. And by nasty comments I mean ones that are really explicit and/or involve being told what a guy wants to do. Compliments like you look hot are awesome- and this is my point. Maybe some guys just see compliments differently.

    • Some guys are just d***s, and all guys think with their d***s.

  • if it happens, they should expect it. and you really have no business telling other people what they can and can't look at.

    • Again, LOOKING is different from long creepy stares. My point is that girls shouldn't have to cover themselves up to avoid nasty comments- the guys who make these comments should actually have to exercise a marginal level of self control.

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    • Just because it happens doesn't make it OK. And AGAIN my point is that the nasty comments and creepy behavior are wrong. No, you can't tell someone not to say or do those things, but that doesn't mean it's OK to say or do them.

    • it doesn't seem like it's worthwhile to discuss. no one is being hurt. I take questions about relationships more seriously than someone complaining she doesn't like the compliments she gets.

  • I think it just varies from guy to guy. Some guys just don't get it. If I see a woman wearing something a little revealing I will take glances when I have the opportunity but my old roommate would just stare so much I would be embarrassed to be with him in public lol. I definitely feel like I am creeping a woman out if I'm staring so I don't get how other people do it shamelessly.

  • girls on here I have noticed have said they dress for themselves. not to please other men, I however disagree, as my girlfriend agrees with me when I say, you're dressing for attention. whether its cold or hot out, your gonna get attention no matter what you wear, the right type of attention though is key of course. I can tell the difference, and my girlfriend is proud that I can. :)

    • Well, girls do dress for themselves- maybe not all the time, but usually we just try to wear what will look good- because when you look good, you (usually) feel good, regardless of any attention. But I'm glad at least one guy can tell the difference between the right and wrong kinds of attention. Seriously, thank god. Or you.

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    • yes I do believe they compete with each other but...the guys wind up the winners in the end. :D

    • Like I said, there are times when a girl doesn't dress for herself. Just because some girls ask how to dress for him doesn't mean they do it all the time. And @Cool-Relax,It's hard to distinguish between dressing well for yourself vs others when your (not referring just to you) opinion of yourself is so involved with how you think other people see you.

What Girls Said 2

  • I dress for myself but I totally agree with you. I can be wearing jeans and a t-shirt and still get oogles. It gets annoying but guys are just really visual.

  • guys are gonna look, but they do not have the right to make nasty comments just because she is dressed a certain way. I've had guys make nasty comments to me even while I was dressed conservatively (thank you big ass and big t*ts) and I always say something smart and mean back. I am not gonna let an idiot guy make me feel like I can't go out in public just because he is a pervert. and if I did choose to dress revealingly I'd act the same way

    • exactly! but it seems like some guys on here and in life think girls should expect those comments like they're normal or acceptable. thanks for the answer!