Guys In Particular - What Makes It A Date?

Not knockin' on the ladies, but I'd prefer the guys' take on this.

What defines an evening as a date? What does it involve in your case?

And, do you often declare it as a date beforehand while requesting her company, or does it just happen?

Thanks in advance :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think anything that's involved on a one on one, is considered a date; but there are varying levels of commitment and intention, as well as emotion. So whether it would be breakfast, lunch, dinner, stroll in the park, night out / in at the movies, if it's just the two of you, then I would consider it a date. The activities don't really come in determining if it's a date or not (generally I'm saying), but conversation and interaction will be a big give away. e.g. personal information being shared, contact, awkward silences etc, are tell tale signs of it really being a date.

    I'm not a big fan of labels to be honest, but when it comes to dating, I think you really need one. Otherwise both parties could be thinking on different wavelengths, and as a result, someone is going to end up disappointed, if not both of you. It's better to know, rather than assume; at least in this instance.

    Actually, to set the record straight, half way through the get-together, I would jokingly ask, "So this is a date right?" Depending on the response, I employ some damage control, to avoid embarrassment. If it's a yes, then it's all clear (if that's what you want it to be). But if it's a no, I jokingly say, "Whoa, that's a bit awkward, this is not a date? I'm seriously cut..." and then just to make it like more of a casual conversation, rather than an ultimatum (trying to reduce the awkwardness), I would shoot off a conversation about things you do or don't on a (first) date.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It is a date if I ask you to go someplace with me, you agree, and then I say I will pick you up. I never actually say the word date though. I always pay for whatever activities we do if I consider it a date. So if a guy offers to pay for your food you can be sure he considers it a date.

    I don't really consider it a date if I ask a woman to go to a party or somewhere where we both have mutual friends though, that is more like testing the waters to see if I think she would say yes to a date.

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    • And what if a guy pays for a girl's drink, even if he met this girl in the club (no asking to go out, just two friends meet each other in the club)?

    • If the guy is buying you something he is showing he is interested in you. Friends don't pay for each other when hanging out unless it has been previously discussed, like if somebody is out of money. If you don't find a guy interesting after the first drink or meal he buys you don't accept the second one because if you do he will likely assume you're interested in him.

  • As a married guy (5 years and counting), date night can be out or in, but has to be a little different than more of the same-old. Declaring it in advance definitely helps; things can turn into date night, but there's less miscommunication if date night is suggested a couple days out. Also, just going out to eat doesn't cut it. I know that my wife needs to feel special sometimes. It can be at the same place we always go, but the "date night" atmosphere is important. Not entirely sure why, but it is, so I go with it.

    After all: happy wife, happy life.

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  • I find a date is just a one-on-one meeting between two available potentially interested people. Personally, I don't know why people care about classifying things as a date or not. Its a chance to get to know someone, there really shouldn't be much pressure or expectations especially to start out. On the rare occaision I do date someone, I don't declare it as a date because I know that's going to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Ill only declare it a date if I know she likes me, I like her and she is expecting me to make arrangements.

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  • A meeting based on attraction, be it physical or other. You simply don't make it anything other than a date, unless one of the parties specifically said so. The things that make it a date, are the simple signs of any other date. Holding hands, glancing at each other and smiling, kisses, or even noticing a spark.

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  • If one of you is thinking they're gonna get laid...then it's a date. If neither one thinks that...it's just friends going out.

    Just my opinion.

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    • I would agree with this over the long-term, but there are many people who don't put out on the first date, so your rule wouldn't apply to them in the short-term.

    • Of course...but I didn't say anyone was GOING to get laid. I said if one of the people THINKS they're going to get laid.

  • Its simple and short

    Just the 2 of you no one else

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  • I often can't tell beforehand, but after it starts I see whether she is flirting or not.

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