Should I continue to text my ex girlfriend??

Me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago. We were on and off for 3 years and she always took me back no matter what I did. In the summer she started talking to this other guy I thought was my friend. I completely freaked and begged for her back, promised to change, etc. Eventually she stopped talking to me and has been with this guy ever since. I stopped all contact completely since then (about 3-4 months), but drunk dialed her a few weeks ago (she didn't answer). She texted me the next day tho after I called her and we texted for about a week straight back and forth. The only time she texts me is if I text her first though. I know she's still with this guy (who I can't stand) but I really love and miss her and want to be back with her. Should I continue to text her often, sometimes, never? Should I call her? I don't want to seem pathetic if she never calls or texts me. I just think there is hope because I know for a fact when she was with me she never called or texted her ex boyfriend even if he contacted her. Also she told me about it if he did try to contact her, I really don't think she has told her current guy about me texting her. So should I continue to text her then? I don't want to give up, but I don't know what else to do. Does it make me look pathetic? Do you think she still has feelings for me? I brought up to her, that if I loved someone and a girl texted or called me in the middle of the night I wouldn't text them back. And I told her I really don't think she's in love or content with her current situation or else why would she text her ex boyfriend even if I'm the one that texts her first? She just snapped and told me I always texted other girls when we were together (which I did). I told her yeah I did but I learned from my mistakes, I regret it everyday, and I don't talk to any girls now because of her. SO she knows she has me. Should I just completely pour my heart out to her and tell her how I feel. I honestly can't stop thinking about her, it affects my school, work, and social life. I would move on because its definitely not in my character to be hung up on a girl like this. Even when we were together I talked to other girls, but now I don't give a crap about others, I only want her, and will be the guy she always wanted me to be. I just need that one more chance. Can I get it though? What do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you mean she would take you back no matter what you did? What would you do? Cheat and lie? I don't know if that's true love? But I don't know your story. However, don't text her for like two weeks and see how she reacts .. if she doesn't contact you asking you why you don't talk to her anymore then let it go .. You are the one who hurt her in the first place and let her go in the first place,- that's what I'm assuming from the first sentences of your story. I'm really not trying to sound like a bitch but this could've not been the current situation if you were a good boyfriend.

    If it's meant to be it will be.

    Everything happens for a reason.

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    • I agree, I did put myself in this situation. Yeah honestly when I was with her I didn't know if I truly loved her because it was one of my first long term serious relationships so... It took losing her to get me to realize how much I do love her. Its funny you say if its meant to be it will be. She actually told me that months ago when we first broke up. Do you really believe that? And everything happends for a reason? I don't know. We'll see I guess

    • yes I honestly believe that. you should too! everything really does happen for a reason because if it didn't why does it happen? Why do certain things happen? We tend to not see the reasons but we will soon somehow, somewhere, sometime.

What Girls Said 6

  • Yes, you need to stop texting her.

    It took loosing her to know how much you loved her? You were texting with other girls while you dated her? Sound to me you just like what you don't have...

    Anyway, do you really believe everything will be A-ok, if you get back with her? You will always know she choose someone else instead of you. She has a boyfriend, so just let her go man.

    You always text her first. The only reason she answers might be because she wants to keep being friends.Yes, you will seem pathetic if you keep texting her with the aim to get back together. Maybe there even is some lasting feelings, feeling don't usually die as soon as a relationship is over, but apparently it's not enough for her to leave this guy for you.

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  • I think you should be blunt and tell her how you feel. My ex treated me like sh*t and I took him back every time but then another girl came along and she was a bitch but he never screwed with her. I'm confused as to why he felt so comfortabke to walk all over me but not her :s Anyways I've been through this and I think its best you tell her the truth and see what she says!

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  • id text her an odd time but not often, I broke up with my ex 5 months ago and he agreed 2 stay in contact as friends, but he'd never send a text 1st, id always hafta text him 1st. since last month I cut dwn on it completly because twoz like tryin to teach a child how 2 talk

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  • Find a better girl to replace her

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  • no

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  • you should continue to be friends, in case she does break up with the new guy and then pounce.

    or not and just back off, it's up to you

    do you have a game plan? It seems you really want her

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    • Game plan? Not really... I still text her every once in a while. I don't want to over do it, but yeah I do really want her. Yeah I agree on your advice of being friends its just hard for me not to bad mouth the new guy and not bring up getting back together. I would wait for her to break up with the new guy too but I don't want to be waiting forever, she's not one to just break up with someone. She put up with my Sh*t for 3 years so... We'lll see what happends maybe she'll get sick of the new guy

What Guys Said 1

  • Ever heard of chaos theory? Everything does not always have a reason for happening!

    In the context that people use that statement (mainly girls breaking up with you tbh) it's like leaving it to fate and (being a science major) I definately don't believe in that!

    But back to your question. Yes I would contact her and tell her your intentions. You don't have to go overboard and spill everything as if she is wary of you (and has a boyfriend) it may be too much too soon and push her away. Simply tell her you still have feelings for her and is she happy with her current b/f? Ask her if she ever sees her trusting you again because if she doesn't then you will respect her, give her space and move on. Tell her you just want to know because you don't want to walk away with any regrets.

    If she still tells you she is not interested then you really will have to move on. Forget being friends unless your happy with just that. Girls are quite happy to have an ex as friends if they shared a history but it doesn't always mean they want you as a partner.

    If she is not sure about her feelings then you need a game plan. You need to be friendly without being a friend. I know it sounds horrible but "all is fair in love and war". I've done this and it did work (temporarily). Be nice to her, text, talk for a couple of weeks then do the oppposite and have NC. She'll definately notice and start guessing your playing games. Once she calls you up on this just say you've been busy/ haven't had the time to talk and casually joke 'you can't dedicate all your time to her, your not boyfriend/girlfriend after all'! The more you do the hot/cold contact the more she'll start to miss you. But remember this will only work if she does have feelings for you still. This is probably the best game plan you've got right now as she does have a boyfriend and if you keep in touch all the time it'll either bug her or ensure you sit nicely in the friend zone. Good luck buddy and happy hunting!

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