Why don't many ladies cook anymore?

Question

Why don't many ladies cook anymore? Are gender roles changing?

It seems like many Men are in the kitchen now as a way to woo a woman. It seems ladies have taken this as their chance to stop all the cooking to try and win a guys affection.

So seriously, is it just me thinking this, or do girls not cook anymore? I am not referring to mothers or much more mature ladies.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well you know everyone is different. I'm a liberal and no, I don't really believe in old fashioned gender roles so I don't really feel like I have to cook for any man. I'm also bisexual so I already operate outside the conventional heterosexual models. I like modern men who can take care of themselves. Not men looking around looking for "ladies to cook" for them. f*** that.

Maybe its the feminist in me (and it probably is) but I get annoyed by traditional gender roles in the home. My mom didn't even cook for my dad all the time but even when she did, I would just say "uh I'm pretty sure he can make his own food." I don't like that the only time my dad really cooked a full meal at home was when it was on the grill. He made me plenty of meals when I was little though because he worked at a diner type restaurant. if we went there he would cook but if we were at home he wouldn't even try. I think he justified it by dividing chores up in the typical fashion - my dad does all the car stuff, all the repair stuff, when my mom wants to repaint some room in their house once every single week (seriously) my dad is the one who paints, etc. So I guess I understand that, My dad does A LOT. He works two jobs, does all the painting, putting crap together, taking crap apart, car stuff, and he does the lawn and sh*t. I am just not a fan of the typical setup of the roles in their marriage but I guess they aren't paying attention to that. my dad was raised doing all that other stuff and my mom wasn't so that's what determines who did what. It wasn't that bad though, she didn't cook all the time, just a couple times a week usually on weekends. She's definitely not that old fashioned. So I'm grateful for that. lol

I cook all the time. I have to feed myself but then I am in college so its not as much as I do in the summer. I usually order out or use my meal plan money. My ex boyfriends and I have cooked for each other and with each other, but I don't just get into a habit of cooking for a man. Occasionally if its something I just want to do for him because I love him, but not habitually unless he's cooking for me as well. My ex boyfriend cooked more for me than I did for him but that's because he's in culinary school. I enjoyed that but I did try to cook for him as well. I'm better at baking things than cooking and even if the average person things my food is great, his food was fantastic. He was really well trained and gifted. I need to find another chef to date. :)

I think I'd feel more comfortable if I ended up marrying or just living long term with a girl though. Then, it won't really feel like there's this heavy presence of sexist gender roles that I'm carrying on through my traditions in life. Women also sometimes seem more willing to share in chores from what I've seen.

archer87 · Accepted Answer

seriously?...It's not like women are sitting out there rubbing their hands together scheming of the next way we can dastardly take advantage of men...

honestly, most of us have been taught how to cook, its really not that difficult if you can read and can afford the ingredients.

I'll break it down for you like this. Back in the day, most women started their cooking careers when they got married and had a husband and soon after a family to feed. Now most people don't get married till their late 20's and early 30's. Cooking for your boyfriend was never part of the wooing process...as it should go, the male should do the wooing, not the female (although this can be different in some cases and I'm not saying that this is only way to go about it). If you're just cooking for yourself why take lots of time, effort and money when you're already pressed all for all three. This leads to my second point. Studies have shown that in the US there is a higher percentage of women that go to college as compared to men. This also leads you to believe that there's a higher percentage of women in successful, high-paying careers as well (since the two are directly correlated). This is not to say that there are no men out there who are successful or make lots of money, I'm just saying the balance is swaying. Therefore wouldn't it also fit that its more acceptable for the gender roles within the home to also sway?

So to sum this up...yes girls do cook, but because we're stressed, tired and poor (just like everyone else out there) we don't get fancy with it. And unless we feel like we want to do something really special for our guy, we're not going to cook every night for you unless you prove that you're worth our time. We're not scheming on how to make you love us as you seem to think.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

It takes a lot of time and effort to make a meal. And I have been using my cooking as a new strategy to woo a guy I like. I think it's working :) But it doesn't work for every guy. Some guys just don't appreciate a girl who can cook. If you don't appreciate it, then it becomes hard for the girl to stay motivated to do it.

It can also be a lot of stress and be expensive to buy all the ingredients. In my time dating, I have rarely, and I mean one guy has only cooked for me. So I think it works both ways. I met a guy once who thought that it was solely the woman's job to stay in the kitchen, clean and cook. Well he obviously didn't win my affections.

My strategy right now is to make a nice meal, and the guy I am wooing comes and helps me. Not because I have asked him to, he just helps because he wants to :) Makes me feel appreciated. And so I feel he deserves delicious food. And I make sure he gets a good meal when he comes to my house!

So if you want a woman to cook for you, or at least help, make it a rewarding experience for her too! Cooking together can be fun, and tell her how much you like cooking with her! She will be more apt to want to cook if you make it fun and show your appreciation!

HenryK · Accepted Answer

I totally agree with you. Woman are tying to take other roles. Men doing the same. I feel a lot of men pamper themselves more than woman now too lol

In all honesty, I think its a womans job to cook and maintain, and a man's job to work.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but that's just how life has always been, and I'm not out to try and change something that's been working perfect for so long.

I honestly thinks its sad seeing a girl who reluctant to cook. Huge turn off for me, especially if she ever wants to have kids.

I prefer a wifey type. Not some feminist thinking she's a guy.

When it comes down to it. Woman are emotional. They make many decisions based on emotions. This is scientific fact. This is why many people don't want a woman as a president or running a major corporation.

And as stated before, there is a larger woman to man ratio.

Also, you can say that there are more woman in college, but college does not lead to success.

Last I checked, its the men running all the major corporations, its the men who dominate the art and music industry, and ironically its the men that dominate cooking! lol

I personally think woman are capable of learning at much faster rates. But when it comes down to it, its not just about the moment. Its about the moment and how you want it to lead into the future.

I honestly think woman are just much better at organization, preparing, etc. Woman are very good at keeping things together, where as men are more clumsy.

I know I drifted off the topic a little. But I believe it is important for a woman to know how to cook and care. Especially if she's going to be my wifey some day.

markml · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I think you're generalizing a bit too much.

It is true that gender roles have expanded (more so than reversed).

Single women (like single men) don't have as much time to cook because they have to balance everything in their lives, like a job. In the old days when women didn't work as much and got married earlier (to ensure they wouldn't have to work as much), they had more time to cook.

But also, most chefs in the world are men...and that hasn't changed over time. So I don't think there was ever a perception in society that women are better at cooking than men. The whole stereotype about women cooking came about because women had more time to cook, and now that this is no longer true, I think you'll find that both sexes like or dislike cooking equally.

Generally, guys try to impress women with skills in the kitchen for the same reason guys try to do anything to impress a woman. The woman, on the other hand, doesn't really have to go out of her way to impress a man she's trying to date except by being good company...that hasn't changed either.

Not every man cooks, but those who don't will do something else to try to impress women.

cun7n1nja · Answer

I couldn't tell you. Maybe it has something to do with women having a wider array of hobbies that are considered 'acceptable' for a woman to have, in recent times, versus the almost mandatory every-woman-ends-up-a-housewife days. So it might not be that less women cook or enjoy cooking, so much as there are just a lot of other things out there to enjoy as well. And women who back in the day would likely have been stuck in the role of wife-mother-cook-housekeeper whether the cooking bit appealed to them or not, don't feel that kind of pressure anymore socially. They don't enjoy cooking, but would have done it anyway, whereas nowadays they don't enjoy cooking, so they don't cook. Times just change, and people change with them.

I don't believe that women should be forced into that kind of role, or that it should be frowned upon for men to take on that role. I feel that if you enjoy cooking and spending time in the kitchen, then you should do so, regardless of gender. And if you don't, then don't.

Personally, I like to cook. I cook and bake all the time. I enjoy it, and I'm good at it because I care enough and love it enough to be good at it. I cook for myself, and I like cooking for others, especially if they really enjoy and appreciate the food I prepare. I put in a lot of time and effort, so it's nice when people acknowledge that. On the other hand, I wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much if I were the only one doing it, all the time. Then it becomes less of a joy, and more like a chore, and it's easy to end up feeling taken for granted. Ideally, I would love to be with a guy who can have fun in the kitchen with me sometimes, or even cook for ME on occasion, and appreciate food the way I do, all the intricacies and creativity that can go into it; Not just for how good something tastes when I make it for them. Though that's always a plus too. =P

Anonymous · Answer

It's just you. Obviously, your ideals of a woman have been set in the past. Which is fine, don't get me wrong, it's just your own view and what you look for in a person. However, most women "don't cook anymore," because we are now free to go out and work, attend college, basically have a life just like a mans- all of our personalities have developed and  formed more naturally. We weren't pushed into the "roles of a women,"; we grew up in the time of freedom and "instant-ness" which means a lot of us didn't grow up HAVING to take time cooking a meal; we could just eat easy quick things or just do whatever the hell we wanted. Also, a lot of the time we are busy or too lazy to go and cook. Maybe somebody us aren't good at it or just don't want to. Unless we are chefs, or it's a special occasion, or maybe it's a passionate hobby- you aren't going to see many people sitting in their kitchen cooking up a storm for their man. It's just not appropriate in times such as this. It's not impossible to find a good ole fashion women though, I'm sure, so you just have to be patient finding somebody who will suit that need for you.

Anonymous · Answer

seriously?...It's not like women are sitting out there rubbing their hands together scheming of the next way we can dastardly take advantage of men...

honestly, most of us have been taught how to cook, its really not that difficult if you can read and can afford the ingredients.

I'll break it down for you like this. Back in the day, most women started their cooking careers when they got married and had a husband and soon after a family to feed. Now most people don't get married till their late 20's and early 30's. Cooking for your boyfriend was never part of the wooing process...as it should go, the male should do the wooing, not the female (although this can be different in some cases and I'm not saying that this is only way to go about it). If you're just cooking for yourself why take lots of time, effort and money when you're already pressed all for all three. This leads to my second point. Studies have shown that in the US there is a higher percentage of women that go to college as compared to men. This also leads you to believe that there's a higher percentage of women in successful, high-paying careers as well (since the two are directly correlated). This is not to say that there are no men out there who are successful or make lots of money, I'm just saying the balance is swaying. Therefore wouldn't it also fit that its more acceptable for the gender roles within the home to also sway?

So to sum this up...yes girls do cook, but because we're stressed, tired and poor (just like everyone else out there) we don't get fancy with it. And unless we feel like we want to do something really special for our guy, we're not going to cook every night for you unless you prove that you're worth our time. We're not scheming on how to make you love us as you seem to think.

Anonymous · Answer

I personally dated couple girls I felt in love with each one. I find out that each one of them didn't know how to cook. In fact, they told me "I don't know how to cook and I won't cook." I asked one, if who will cook for her chidlren even if her husband was a good cooker but got sick or has to travel and she says, ;"I don't know, maybe I will go to Mcdoland." that is when I stoped dating and they got hurt.

I heard one got really depressed and said to a friend, "she was deeply in love with me and want to be her future husband".

but seriously who wants marry a women who don't know how to cook? I am a great cooker. I used work many resturants. I can even become a cheif because I know Italian cusine, Mexican, Arab, and East African cusine which is great. However, I will never marry a woman who can't cook. I want a woman who can delicious food for me when I can't or when she has to. And it is not about changing but man are changing and becoming cookers because we, the man of this generation understand letting woman have equal opportunity and rights is also important and neccessary for us and our children.

However, if woman says, "I don't how to cook' and I want my husband cook for me. Then she is damb loser and probably has to fool a foolish man, not me!

Crimson_Petal · Answer

I love to cook, but then my mum's Italian so it's just this huge part of her culture. I think if I hadn't liked cooking I would have been disowned. I never have take aways, rarely eat out -only on special occasions and my mum and I cook fresh food every night and we sit down as a family to eat. I bake my own bread, grow most of my own vegetables, make my own candy and sweets and jams without the preservatives. I don't care it's old fashioned and I intend to continue this tradition when I have my own family. Doesn't mean I wouldn't let my man cook, just that I like to do it. I find it therapeutic..

freezey · Answer

This is such an interesting topic because here in europe, cooking is a big thing that is led by some of the best chefs in the world and nearly all are men. We see more male chefs on the TV cooking for celebrities and other people. I personally think men have accepted that being a chef and preparing food is no longer a girly thing, no longer the job of the woman and many men get in the kitchen now and "have a go" at cooking because if these chefs can cook? why can't us regular men? I for one am a great example of this, I would rather get in the kitchen and cook a fantastic meal for my women, because it is such a pleaser and it's interesting playing around with all those ingriedients and coming up with your own 'special' recipe or meal.

rachel23 · Answer

Well I'm a Southern girl from Tennessee and I was always told by my mother that " A way to a man's heart was through his stomach". As I was growing up I've always known for my mother cooking , some good soul food everyday . And by the time my father got home dinner was always made. When I was 14-16 years old that's when my grandma and my mother started to tech me how to cook; and they would always tell me they where doing this because I was going to be a wife someday. I come from a huge family who loves to cook ; and 98% of the females cook for their husbands. I don't know if its just a southern thing , but we still cook for our men .

brunettebelle · Answer

I am not a great cook and the reason is, is that I am not in the house long enough to prepare a meal. I need something quick like oatmeal, if I had a man that knew how to cook. I would like him to teach me and maybe teach me how to prepare his favorite meal. I may be vegetarian but if I knew how to make a Tri-tip steak the way he likes it, I would make it for him with side dishes that he likes and he has taught me. But it would be nice if he cooked for me too, it's not hard to impress me with food.

Anonymous · Answer

Most of this generation is being raised differently. Women now are into having a good paying career and hopefully becoming president of some country. Who has time to learn to cook! No really. Cooking believe it or not is a good skill to learn and I think everyone should learn it. Women were the ones to prepare the meals in the past along with taking care of the kids, because men were always out somewhere working near or away from home, so us women were branded as the cooks. I know these days of other countries, women are taught to cook at a very young age some of their traditions are still the same. I think it depends on how your raised. Maybe because everything is so fast these days that some women find it boring.

Anonymous · Answer

Those years when young women were trained to be "real women" by cooking and sewing were replaced by college prep schools, the quest for a college, graduate and doctoral/vocational degree, and ultimately the anxiety over cracking through the current layer in the d*mned glass ceiling, which has more layers to it than there are layers of ice in Greenland...

STILL, some of us *do* manage to learn how to cook, clean, sew, and woo men -- rather well, in fact. Despite this, even the best of us are often under-appreciated.

In the end, either the guy wants the girl or doesn't. Either the girl wants the guy or doesn't. If the answer for either is a "no" then it doesn't matter if she's Betty Crocker and Martha Stuart rolled into one...

Anonymous · Answer

I think some girls cook for themselves when they live on their own for awhile.

I also know that my sister in law can't cook and she works and makes 100K a year so she always goes out to eat with plenty of money left over after the year.

so it some times does not matter if the girl or guy can cook, if they make a lot of money it doesn't matter. I am not sure if my guy and I are saving money because we spend 100 dollars a week on groceries... and we eat in most of the time... and yes I cook most of the time.

Anonymous · Answer

I am cooking dinner right now. I'm 22 with no kids and I live at home.  I love cooking and it's something I find an interest in. I'm single but if I had a boyfriend I'd cook for him as long as he deserved it. I won't be cooking all the time and doing wifey sh*t for a guy that I'm not getting the same treatment from. I don't feel like I need to do all this domesticated stuff to win a guy's affection. I have to get to know you first to know if you're even worthy of the effort first. Why should I? Just because you're a man and I'm a woman? Sorry that's not gonna fly with me.

DreamerFreak · Answer

Uhh, hmm...

Laziness. Or being too "busy"(which I think is absolutely ridiculous. No one should be so busy that they can't cook a decent meal).

I mean really, people are getting fatter because they're freaking stupid and were never taught anything about cooking, or they're just lazy, or they've got so much on their schedule that they can't even be bothered. It's shameful. There are some kids that don't even know how to turn on a stove...

And I guess women these days are all, "men should help in the kitched" which I can understand, but not "help" so much that their only role is supervising.

Ugh.

invisible_monster · Answer

because my mom grew up in a trailer park with a microwave. Most women learn to cook from their mothers. I honestly don't have the patience, I have my own life, I'm building my own career and  I rarely  have time to cook something that goes above and beyond the call of a microwave . Also, my boyfriend loves to cook and can't put up with me half-assing something. However, I do make really bomb cookies and will bake them for my boyfriend once in a while.

TheCheshireCat · Answer

Because women work now, so they don't have as much time as they did in the olden days.  Also, many men cook these days, & try to help out with housework, as both parties are working.  It makes sense to me that the chores would be divided since both parties have time in their day taken away by work.  It makes everything go by faster/smoother when everyone is doing their part.

Anonymous · Answer

Part of it is because men don't mind cooking, like they did in the olden days.  Another part is because there is fast food/restaurants/etc.  Before, everything had to be made from scratch, but these days, making a meal can be as easy as ordering a pizza or popping a TV dinner in the oven.  As times have advanced, the quality of food has become poorer.  People are much less patient these days, so they don't want to spend hours cooking a meal.  They want their meal now & look for ways to decrease the amount of time they have to wait.  That is why fast food is so valued these days, because it's "Fast."  Then there is also the fact that women are not "required" to cook anymore.  Because they are no longer required, they may opt not to cook because of laziness or because they don't have time.  In some relationships, the woman works & the man stays home with the children.  It is only natural that he would cook since she is at work all day.

WeaponZero · Answer

Gender roles aren't changing, they're disappearing.  We're coming closer to becoming one big unisex society where the only thing distinguishing one gender from the other is their reproductive organs.  Depending on how you look at it, you can see it as a good thing or a bad thing.  I see it as a good thing because it's pushing more toward true equality.

Ellena102 · Answer

Well, maybe it's just the American women that don't cook, I mean I always see on tv, like those orange county housewives, never cook, and like have these personal chefs.

But anyway, why don't men cook at all, last few ex's only knew how to make, cereal, and soup, and sandwiches, like that's not real food!

And just so you know, I'm Russian, not American and have been cooking since the age of 11 (:

heyitsme · Answer

I tried cooking for a guy I liked once, on the advice of a male friend. Nope. Never again. I wasted my time and energy worrying about making the perfect dinner and having the perfect menu. He didn't even want to go out with me after that. Never again.

-StillWater- · Answer

Women cook. Maybe not all of us...but I do.

Although, I do go to college, so I really haven't got a lot of time for it. And I'll have even less time after I get a job...so it may happen that I'll be cooking for anyone (including myself) once a month tops...

It's not that women don't like/want to cook...it's that we don't have time for it anymore!

Ad least that's what is happening to me...

Why don't many ladies cook anymore?

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