Online Dater - Am I being played or does he just not know what he wants?

OK so long story short, been in contact with a guy for 6 months now via a reputable online dating site. We took the contact offline to personal phone and email and it's been a little up and down ...

Up as in we are in constant contact, we get on well via text and email etc, the contact itself is good BUT down as in he's said a few times he'd call and hasn't followed through once. He's said 2/3 times about meeting up before he went home for the holidays and it did not happen.

He keeps saying he wants to meet but then when I try to follow it through he goes quiet. Two weeks before he went home I asked what are we going to do about meeting up as I'd really like to see him before he went? He text straight back to say how about this Saturday? I messaged back the next day to say yeah sure, works for me, he replied to say he'd need to check what time he was back into town and let me know.

I said OK, and our conversation turned to something else. On the Friday I said are we on for tomorrow? let me know ... he replied and did not even acknowledge what I had said.

I messaged him a couple of days later to ask if I'd got the date wrong, that I was a little confused when he didn't get back to me, and it got me wondering if he had changed his mind or something and didn't have the heart to tell me?

He replied but didn't acknowledge what I'd said again so I said I could see there is a problem here because he goes silent / ignores the subject when I try to follow through and its confusing. If he didn't want to move past the contact we had now he could just say and we could go our separate ways, but if it was that he is shy / nervous about meeting up that its OK to say and we can try again when he is home, but that it wasn't OK to handle it the way he did.

He did reply, but again he didn't acknowledge what I said. We exchanged a couple of texts and then he asked if we could swap photos as it had been so long since we had both come off the site. I said yeah sure, so we did. I made sure to compliment him on his photo - nice eyes etc ... (I meant it but wanted to build his confidence too).

We've been in contact since, as he's away for 7 weeks in total so I didn't want to completely cut him off but I am going to have to face into this when he is back to say we meet up, or I move on.

I don't think there is a girlfriend, and I think he is just really shy and not confident about himself but maybe I'm wrong ... ?

Any thoughts?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I believe that you are just getting played by him.

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