When men get a "wake up call" do they really?

I am in a friends with benefits situation with this guy who has been hurt by a few women. He won't let anyone in, has no attachment between sex and love, and makes himself the priority. After ditching me a few days ago,i called him to ask wtf was up with that. He told me not to take his words seriously unless he plans a time to it. After we hung up, he texted me saying he will make more of an effort to go with plans.

After pleasuring him most of the time and dealing with his flakiness I had enough. I texted him that he was being selfish because he was hurt in the past and I would rather find a guy who will play both the role of a friend and lover rather than begging him to chill with me.He texted me back saying I gave him a wake up call and how he felt like sh*t for what he did. He said he never meant to hurt me and he is deeply sorry.

I'm keeping to the "no calling him first" because I want more than some flaky relationship. I don't mind taking it slow but if I know we're not going to be anything in the end, I'd rather leave.

But when men get a "wake up call" do they really wake up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • rules and games. yawn. get outta there and date someone else.

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    • No second chances, huh?

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    • Alright, you guys are right

    • aww you are too kind...merry christmas!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Let's not be too quick to label this guy an asshole. According to your story, you're dealing with someone that has been hurt and wants to do whatever it takes to prevent that horrible feeling from entering his life again. On his journey of protecting himself, he hurt you which doesn't seem to be intentional. Seems like he may have regretted what he did. Sometimes in life when you risk getting hurt, you limit your ability to blossom at your full potential, rather than risking to win, giving our self a chance. Can't be too quick to judge sometimes as each case is different.

    I'm currently working on a community that people can all come together to share their dating experience and would love for you to join my fan page in order to stay posted with the progress of this project. Hope to see you there!

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    Hope I was able to help you.

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    • You are absolutely right. How do you approach a man who is like this? Should I address his problem by asking questions?

    • Reassurance is key sweetie. It takes that one conversation, saying what's on your heart, in order to express what it is you are going through inside. By letting him know what affect his actions have on you, you may help him to realize that by him protecting himself, he is hurting you. If he really cares, it'll bring him pain, and he'll put effort into changing that.

  • If it's a true wake up call, then yes, it may be a gradual change but substantial one never the less. I know I changed when I got a wake up call. full 360 change

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