I have no idea what to do, and I need all the help I can get.

So, my New Year's Resolution is to get a date. (Pitiful.) I'm starting from just about nothing - no experience, little friendship, few connections, and a reputation for being anti-social. When I try to talk to people, they seem uninterested in me. What do I do? I have no idea where to start from.

Happy New Year, everyone. I just hope the rest of the year can be good for me, because I don't want to spend it alone.

Updates:
Thank you so much for responding so quickly, and on New Year's Eve! I'm going to make some changes and I hope it works. Thank you!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First piece of advice for getting a date? Stop trying to get a date. You have a good deal of changes you have to make in your life before you should start trying to get somebody to date you. Unless you like rejection, then by all means, start asking women out tomorrow.

    You with your self image. Who are you? Do you like who you are? No? That's honesty toward yourself, a good first step. I can tell you aren't happy with yourself, because you aren't confident in yourself. People who lack confidence don't believe other people are going to like them. But the reality is, they don't know what other people like and don't like. They think other people won't like who they are, because they don't really like who they are. Their self image is low. So you need to change that.

    So how do you gain confidence? Best way is to start getting yourself hobbies. Practice them daily. Whatever it is, be damn good at it. Doesn't really matter what it is, just get awesome at it. The more hobbies you get, the better you get at them, the better. This is going to take time, but it's going to be worth it on more than one front.

    Hobbies are going to help you gain skills, but it's going to help you in another area, friends. See somebody else doing an activity you've picked up and started to get good at? Have a conversation with them about it. Use your knowledge about the subject to maintain a conversation with that person, and maybe see if they would want to join you doing it sometime, or something along those lines. Doesn't have to be a girl, in fact, you want to make friends at this stage, not a dating girlfriend (though if it happens, it happens).

    So you've got hobbies, you've made friends who enjoy those hobbies, you are starting to get a social life going. Some of the people you met, nothing will happen from there on, some will become friends outside the activities though. Now you are being social, BIG step in the right direction. Use this social time to polish up on your conversational skills and being more confident in your posture and tone. Notice where you are being socially awkward and shy. Eliminate those traits.

    Now you have a social life. That is the most important part in getting a date. Why? Because getting a date is all about first impressions. You need your first impression to be of a guy who has a life, a guy who's got skills that he is confident in, and somebody who isn't afraid to talk and listen. Basically, all the things that are going to turn into confidence. Everything you will need to successfully ask out a girl, you will have learned while developing a social life. Sparking up a conversation with a stranger, doing something together, holding conversation, etc. You do all those things when you have a social life. The only difference now, is you'll be doing it with somebody you are interested in romantically.

    Good luck man.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to have confidence in yourself, because I can tell from your description of yourself you don't have much of it. We are taught so much to be modest as we grow up, but sometimes you need to be proud of your attributes. In the dating game its crucial. I'm not talking about being cocky, but be happy about the type of person you are and highlight your good attributes when people are talking to you so they can appreciate them too! Don't be afraid to talk to people, go to school events, parties, join clubs. Find people that share your interests because when you're looking for a date you are sorta doing the same thing. Surround yourself with people you are comfortable with and naturally you will just open up, and your inhibitions will disappear. Looks are also important to the extent that you should look well-kept but don't change who you are.

    Hope that helps. Good luck!

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    • How do I show confidence - especially with people who don't expect confidence from me?

    • There's yourpitfall, you're already thinking about what others think. I realize its hard to shake off first impressions but since your faults aren't detrimental (being anti-social doesn't affect anyone but yourself) you have to wipe them away in your mind. Start over with those people.

      And isn't it perfect that they don't expect confidence from you That just adds to the wow factor when you show them the person you really are. How to show? Confidence= smiles, eye contact. Um act interested in ppl

What Guys Said 1

  • online dating maybe?

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