Convoluted girl situation, seeking advice? (pretty long story)

OK, here goes

So I'm in a really odd situation with a girl I really like right now. I mean REALLY like. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. We were coworkers at a supermarket for about a year (she recently quit this last week). We texted for a brief time while we were coworkers and I think she liked me for a little while. Unfortunately, she ended up getting back together with an ex-boyfriend of hers before I could get anywhere with her. The ex she got back together with is a complete d-bag and cheated on her all the time the first time they dated (at least 7 times, according to her).

So, New Years eve comes around and we're both at the same party at a club. I see her in the club and she seems just fine. She's smiling, she gives me a hug and we go about our business. I don't see her for a while so I ask the friend she came with where she's at (this friend of hers is her best friend). She tells me she's in her car all upset. So, I go to the car to find her crying and hop in and try my best to comfort her. She tells me her boyfriend broke up with her the night before through a text message (like I said, guy is a total d-bag). Apparently, he found out that someone took advantage of her at a party back in May and he saw this as being "cheated on" so he dumps her yet again. She told me she saw him in the club and it got her all upset. But even after hurting her twice, she still wants to try to fix things with the ex and so I give her a ride to a gas station where he picked her up. During our ride there, she tells me that if she wasn't with her ex, she'd be with me. She also said she told her best friend how cute I was and tried to hook her up with me. Not to toot my own horn but apparently her best friend concurs that I'm a cutey or whatever. So, I drop her off with the ex and I head home for the night. Next day she texts me saying thanks for saving me last night and apologizes for being reckless. I told her not to worry about it and ask her how the rest of her night went. She says she got back together with the ex yet again and I pretend to be all happy for her. The last thing she says to me in our convo is that we'll have to hang out so I can get to know her friend better (little does she know that my interest lies completely with her and not her best friend). Seeing this as an opportunity to spend time with the girl I like, I respond with "yea definitely".

So therein lies my situation. Do I ask her to hang out sometime or do I wait for her to come to me, as I'm pretty sure he'll hurt her again eventually? If I do ask her to hang out some time, when and what is the best way to word it so I don't seem too available and/or desperate?

Now that we're not coworkers we will rarely if ever see each other, so should I even try to date her friend so I will be able to remain close to her?

All I know is that I'm steaming that this ex of hers is lucky enough to have multiple shots at such a wonderful, beautiful girl and treats her like dirt.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The one thing I thought when I read the part about her saying "If she wasn't with her ex- she'd be with you" was DAMN.. you should have said... "well you aren't with him now"

    Honestly if you like her just make a move, think about it like this. She might think this d-bag is her only option. You've never told her you like her and her saying the whole I'd be with you thing or I told my friend you are cute etc etc. She's kind of spelling it out for you in my opinion that she is into you.

    Just ask her out show her a good time give her the attention she deserves and let her see a good alternative to a d-bag. What is the worst that can happen? She gets mad and doesn't talk to you again? well you said it yourself she isn't at your work and you won't have many chances to see her. and Honestly, if she blows you off or is more interested in cheating dirtbags well... unless you want to change who you are who needs that?

    If you do ask her I'm almost positive she'll say yes, just don't let her talk about the ex or if she does change the topic and just show her a good time. After all that's all anyone ever really wants in life is to have fun and be happy, if you're the one that brings that to her all the better!
    Goodluck and hope my mini rant helped lol

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    • ahh just saw the edit, well I'd still go remind her. Again I'll stick with what I said before tell her and if she is interested she'll tell you if not she'll tell you either way you'll have closure and can move on or be able to spend time with her. Win / Win I think :D

What Girls Said 1

  • I say you do nothing. Waiting in the wings and making yourself available to this chick isn't doing you any favors. You're making yourself suffer and not getting any of the benefits of an actual relationship. She's WITH her ex and not you. That means something. She might say she would be with you if she wasn't with her ex, but that's not how things are. You're in the friend zone. She hasn't done anything to prove otherwise. Actions speak louder than words. Just keep this girl as a friend, you're clearly already her therapist and go-to guy. There's going to be no changing that. And this girl is stupid for saying with such a douchey guy.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Dude you know wut. Tell her how you feel I'm sick of hearing stuff like this. It seems like the guys who give a damn never get a chance. I've been there. It sucks. Go after this girl dude directly. Screw the other guy he doesn't care bout her. Ask her to chill and tell her. Don't be second to tht jerk

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