Should I text her or am I setting myself up for more heartbreak?

My ex texted me a couple of weeks ago (after 3 months NC) and we spoke for a couple of hours, just general chit chat. She ended saying we'd hang soon. Now nothing from her since. Is she waiting for me to make the next move/initiate contact or is she just playing me? I've been doing all the things I should be doing to move on. I was making good ground until she got in touch again and now I'm feeling a little confused and don't want to get hurt all over?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well…she reached out after a good amount of time which is a good sign. It means that she has been thinking about you still. Though she could have had two motives. First, is an ego stroke. Second, it is because she generally would like to re open your connection. If you are willing to open yourself up to her again and think the inherent risk (of your heart) is worth this girl then this is what I would do. I would call and say, “Hey, nice to talk with you the other day. It would be great to catch up in person and was just seeing what your dance card looks like so we could grab a drink/coffee. “ Done. Nothing more. If she answers make the call short and to the point. If she doesn’t answer leave a message that is short and to the point. You cannot slighted at the least. Then wait to see if she is open to it. Do not do dinner or anything that costs a lot of time and money. Make her work and prove her way back up to nice dinners and well planned creative dates. And do not text. Texting is for the weak. You are strong and not afraid of her. Show her you are a man and won’t take any sh*t but be kind.


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What Girls Said 1

  • if you don't want to try again with her I wouldn't hangout with her or anything until you both don't have any feelings. because you do hang out with her, chances are you guys will start to like each other again and someone will get hurt all over again. but if you do want to start things up again, go for it. she is probably waiting for you to make the move. good luck.


What Guys Said 1

  • How long ago was it since you last talked to her? Some girls are so used to someone being there that they "reach out" to you to have small talk. It might be that she wants to try and be "friends", or it might be that she wanted to make sure she can have you anytime she wants. She will contact you on her terms and ignore you when you try to contact her. You should never talk to her again. She KNOWS you still want her and she wants you to chase her. You boosted her ego by communicating with her. Move on and date other girls.

    • It was around 2 weeks ago. So you think I should ignore her and wait for her to contact me again?

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    • I think it's the other way round. I was indecsisve and unsure what I wanted. I rarely contacted her and didn't make enough effort in general really. That was my mistake and I've realized I miss her and she was good for me! But I agree 2 weeks seems a long time (although 1 week of that she was abroad in Canada). I'm just confused as I get what your saying (and your probably right) but worry that I'm showing the same traits I did in the relationship by not contacting her?

    • who knows the real reasons here, she could want to catch up she could be exploring the possibility, she could be looking for a ego boost. Go out with her if you want. Make it on your terms, your time your schedule and do whatever will make you happy.