He likes me, but I like his best friend...what do I do?

so I met these two guys, dan and rob, at a local concert. they were the merch guys for the band, and dan saw me and called me over to the merch table. we get to talking, and he is funny as hell. he's really cute and sarcastic which I really like. then all of a sudden, rob, the other merch guys swoops in and interrupts. he pulls a straight up robbery on dan. rob is less cute, but he is really sweet. he found out that he and I go to the same college, and he wants to take me on a date.

long story short, I got both their numbers. they were both texting me. dan just makes me laugh and I feel really comfortable with him. rob keeps texting me the sweetest things, but seems needy. rob keeps talking about us going dates when we get back to school, and keeps telling me how much he likes me.

they both invited me to a hotel after-party after one of the bands shows. I wanna go, because I really want to see dan. I feel so guilty for liking dan better, but he was the one who originally was talking to me.

i didn't go, because I didn't wanna hurt rob's feelings. I found out that rob told all the guys in the band, and also dan, to back off, because he wanted me. now dan isn't talking to me anymore.

rob is having a party in a couple weeks, and dan will be there. I don't know what to do. should I just cut off contact with all of them? I don't want to break rob's heart, but I just feel a stronger connection with dan :/


0|0
4|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • I suggest you text both D &R this same message:

    Rob, I would love to attend your party - I miss you both and we seem to have lost touch.

    There is one condition, however - that you both respect my life, my choices if you really care for me, as I do both of you.

    My choice is to come to the party as Dan's date.

    I would be honored to be your friend, Rob but something inside me cares for Dan in a more dating way to see where that leads.

    If either of you feel I have sent mixed signals over this in the past, please let me know how - as these feeling are not new - I am just trying to be more clear about them.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • i'm not gonna be a jerk but if my m8 told me to p*ss off cos he likes a girl who I initiated contact with 1st, I wudn't bk off, I would flirt with you until he's disgusted cos that was an ar*ehole move by rob. So you shud go with dan even though I would normally route for Rob cos he stepped up and grew some balls.

    0|0
    0|0
  • try being honest... As a man it hurts but it's better than being strung along. But I would make sure to stroke his ego let him know he is attractive and a good guy just not for you. He will understand unless he is a jerk. And either way it makes you look like a stand up person for the guy you like... Just my take as a man...

    0|0
    0|0
  • dan needs to man up and say you were his find first and if rob doesn't like it then game on...may the best man win :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • and personally if I were dan I would have told rob "wtf bro? I was gaming that and you totally came in and cockblocked me..." and pretty much make it clear to rob that I liked you and that it is HE that should back off...

    • Show All
    • Lol that's always classy

    • i just figure that if dan and I are meant to be together, it would have to be down the road. I wanna give everything time to cool off, and let everyone sort themselves out before any more moves are made.

  • Best Answer...?

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • First off, be honest. Taking both of their numbers when you only really like one was probably a good idea if you want to keep rob as a friend. Here's the thing though before someone can get upset with you for "misleading" rob be honest. Also, since they are best friends if you want to date dan you have to make sure that you go about this the right way.

    Here's the thing, youve already let rob text you too many nice things and while he does seem needy it seems you lack the same spark with him that you have with dan. So here's the thing, you have to talk to rob and let him know you think he's great but you're just not interested in him that way and that you don't want to lead him on or hurt his feelings but you think that someone like him deserves someone really great in his life you just don't feel the same way. Also, this is the double whammy you should mention to him that you like his friend nothing is more a kick in the balls excuse my language then playing a game with someones heart and then they find out you want to be with their close friend. My advice is this...

    Just be honest and straight up. Sometimes its the things that are hardest in life that are the right thing to do. This is the right thing to do tell the one you like you like him and tell the one you don't but you appreciate his kind words and text messages you just don't feel the same way.

    0|0
    0|0
    • yeah I plan on letting him know. but he keeps saying to me "we can at least be friends" which puts a weird pressure on me, like even if I don't want to date him, he wants me in his life in some way. its just so awkward. even though I really like dan, should I just stop talking to him? because neither of us want to hurt rob :/

    • Show All
    • i don't even respond to his texts sometimes because I want him to stop. and I've tried telling him in the past that and his response was "we can at least be friends." so I tried it, but he doesn't really seem to get it. dan doesn't know I have feelings for him. also we haven't spoken in a while. I need to have a really straight up talk with all of them. I know dan won't date me because of his loyalty to rob, so ill be hurt, and rob will be hurt by me. its just not worth it to try to be friends

    • just be honest and sooner rather than later.

  • Tell him you like him!

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should be happy that there is men that like you, some of us don't have that luxury :(

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you can... tell Rob how you feel. If not, I would go for Dan. Maybe you can let some time pass before seeing Dan again, and initiate then. Even if you let a month go of not seeing either of them, and then text Dan out of the blue and ask him out.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...