I guess I'm just venting :/

So I have been with my boy for 11 months. However last week I didn't hear from him for 8 days. I have a pretty f***ed up mind so I just assumed it was over(so many past issues). He called me the 8th day night and said he loved me(which is something EXTREMLY rare for him to say, not so good with his emotions) I love him with all my heart BUT while he wasn't talking to me I started talking to this dude I like and used to talk to,we ended up kissing and holding hands two days. Last time my boyfriend went m.i.a The same thing happened and I was honest and told him about it. He was forgiving but I'm scared if I tell him this time he won't be. It was just a kiss right? Maybe I should just keep it to myself?

mind you its not like me and my boyfriend got in a fight so he didn't talk to me for awhile, it was just random and it hurt my feelings a lot (ages 18&23 if that makes a difference)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Best to vent with stangers with no consequences.

    > last week I didn't hear from him for 8 days, so I just assumed it was over

    Agreed this isn't very attentive. But as you say this is probably an excessive conclusion after a relatively short time. Did you try to contact him?

    > while he wasn't talking to me I started talking to this dude I like

    Talking to others is a good thing, but if you love Mr Effusive, when some other guy puts moves on you, just give that other guy a clear no.

    Telling Mr Effusive or not is for your conscience. I'd incline to the nothing much happened, it can only have a negative impact on him, so why risk hurting him and stressing your relationship side. Doing it once and telling him clearly didn't make him more attentive, so he isn't likely to take it as sufficient threat to do so this time.

    If you did it to "to get even" then that isn't particularly fair the guy you would have been using for revenge in that case (although he was clearly up for getting with you). Best not to get involved with other people beyond normal social contact unless you really intend to move on.

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    • no he doesn't have a number I can contact him with, he always calls from different numbers so I have to wait for him to contact me. The last time I talked to the other dude I told my boyfriend that he needs to put in more effort or I'm leaving so he did for a while but now is slacking off again so it was not to get even, just out of lonelyness

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    • OK just trying to help. If you really love this guy, sometimes you have to be the bigger person to get past his flaws (we all have them). Getting a phone might tip the balance about who is making the running a bit more your way, but it would let you stay in contact more in the future which is very important to you. In a way getting him the phone would be doing yourself a favor.

      If it isn't meant to be, it will also let you find this out sooner, which could be for the best in the long run.

    • i will consider this, thank you for your help

What Guys Said 1

  • He could use some social skills and you could use some self-restraint. A daily kiss by text takes seconds for and you could act less like an addict by starting to hook up because your steady supply of security is in doubt. This is what happens when your world is limited to your social life. If you had other diversions, you would not fixate on this so much.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yea it mite not be so cool that he went all M.I.A for 8 days but it was only a week and sometimes it happens stop focusing on him so much and get your own thing to do (which does not include kissing other guys that is) don't be so clingy and if you realize that so many days have passed and you haven't heard from him you call him and find out what's up other than that do your own thing, hang out with friends, enjoy yourself...as for the issue with kissing the other guy he may not be so forgiving this time (fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me) so although you should be truthful you might want to keep this one to yourself...

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