What does it mean when a guy is really into you in person, but not over texting? PLEASE HELP I am concerned!!!

PLEASE READ THIS AND HELP ME.

The guy I just started seeing is really affectionate when we are together. He holds my hand and kisses it, he hugs me, and he will randomly kiss me. However, over texting, he never really acts interested. His texts are short and infrequent. He knows my family, and is best friends with my cousin. He doesn't date much, I am the first in a long time. He is serious about relationships and is a nice person, so I don't think he is playing me...but I am not sure.

We just had to go away to different schools (we started seeing each other over Christmas break, we are from the same hometown but go to different colleges.) he says he wants to keep talking, and he wants to see me when I come back into town, but his texts don't really seem that way.

the usually texts me first, but the conversations are so brief! I texted him for the first time tonight, and I thought he was busy because his answers seemed so half-assed.

i said "are you busy? I feel bad if I'm distracting you!" and he said "i am about to head over to max's (my cousin) and I was watching the golden globes. no worries :)" so I said "oooh OK lol well I can let you go then, I don't wanna keep you!" and then he never responded

i can't tell if he is just really against texting, or if he doesn't wanna talk to me. his actions in person are far different than over the phone. I really like him, and I have had a crush on him for months, so I want this to work. I am so worried now because we can't see each other much anymore, and we are relying on texting :[

please help!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unlike women, guy's are not good conversationalists. They are not the type to text you constantly and are probably not comfortable texting all the time. So he is just being a guy. Don't let this discourage you, he obviously likes you because in person he is sending definite signals! :D He probably would rather be close to you and get to flirt in person instead of through texting when it can be impersonal. I don't think he is playing you, he's just being a guy. Guys are not into texting all the time and are not good at expressing emotions through words.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Texting is no means of conveying emotion. Email or any other writing is the same, some people have a career in this with their romantic novels. That's why they have their jobs, not everyone writes emotionally.

    Typically, a guy would want to use texting to relay a brief message. Things to let you know about something and that's it. For me, texting is a pain.

    There's also the issue with written communication where it gets misconstrued - you might read into something that he didn't mean at all. Some people are aware of this, so they keep it short and sweet.

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  • You are reading way too much into texts, and expecting way to much from texts. Texts and emails are notorious for being poor communication mediums for expressing tone of voice and emotions. It is very easy to misinterpret texts and emails. Jokes and sarcasm fir example don't come through in texts and emails.

    You should call and talk over the phone more often and text and email less.

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    • he like doesn't even say goodbye sometimes when I end the conversation! I can't tell if he just doesn't wanna talk to me, or if he just doesn't know how to text people properly haha. but we can't really talk on the phone because the only time he is free to talk is when I have class, so I just text him during class lol.

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    • i come home every few weeks though, plus I have spring break, and a four month long summer. my school is only an hour away

    • I agree with handyman7, it's hard to really tell how a person feels over text, don't read to much into it, take from experience, my boyfriend does the SAME thing, but in person it's like we were meant for eachother.. This is just uneeded stress, he sounds like he likes you, and if not then you will move on and find someone better, you both are just very busy with your lives currently, maybe set a day where you two meet up every week so you don't feel so neglected, you two are only an hour away

  • hahahaahaa, text,i.m.,telephone are very scary places that emotions run free and rampant and guys are terrified of those places...just how it is...short and to the point communication...

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  • do go over board into the texts. Its all about him in person and he acts

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What Girls Said 8

  • Some people are not into texting. I'm a girl and I HATE it. It's not very personal. I'm an individual that prefers to hear from my boyfriend or see him. I don't like texting, emailin, IM'ing, etc. So maybe that's what type of person he is. He also may be unavailable.

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  • Some people aren't really into texting.

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    • thats understandable, but that's like our main way of talking to each other :/ our schedules collide, so he is only free while I'm at class, so I text him during class. we can't really talk on the phone much

  • Wow your situation sounds so similar to mine. It didn't go anywhere. He sucked at texting and I wasn't gonna bother him...but yet when we were in person it was so freaking perfect. But you know how guys can say and do anything to get what they want...lets just hope this isn't what your situation comes to.

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    • ah I really hope this works out he is like my dream guy! I just wish he wasn't such a sh*tty texter hahah

    • Most guys are. lol :)...What I did was stop texting him enough to see if he cares. And he ended up texting me

  • Yall should Call each other, instead of text.

    Maybe he texts brief to everybody not just you.You should tell him how you feel about him being so brief/

    Yall should make plans to see each other soon.

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  • text is text. doesn't matter. some don't like to text. I wouldn't worry.

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  • guys are bad texters so don't take it personal. if he is in to you in person then that's all that matters! good luck

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  • maybe he doesn't like to text

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  • Dont worry too much about it. My boyfriend is EXACTLY the same! When ever we are together it is so perfect and I can really tell that he loves me. However, as soon as we are not together ( long distance relationship) its as if I don't have a boyfriend. He takes ages! to reply to texts. He would not call as much as I would like him to. I talked to him about it, he started improving for a week and then it went back to how it was.

    I have come to the conclusion that he just does not like texting. He even admitted it. So I guess your guy is not the only one out there like that.

    :-)

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